


I don't want easy, I want you

by Shae_la_Hyene



Category: Captive Prince - C. S. Pacat
Genre: Ancel if you blink you'll miss him, Beating, Bipolar Disorder, Damen can't stand up to his brother for shit, Drunk Sex, Family Drama, Fluff, Halloween, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Manic Episode, Nikandros is a bit of a jerk, Smut, Violence, a bit - Freeform, a shit load of it, administrative hell, but very far from my usual levels, but you know the drill, chrismas, crafting, crafting is cool, depressive episodes, disnerd, hook-ups, hospital rest, i love crafting, it wouldn't be christmas without it, kastor is a hell of a bad boss, living with a teen can be complicated, mild kinky sex, more tags will be added with the second chapter, pet snake, reference to past CSA, shitty work environement, this baby can fit so much self-insertion !, we can't fight who we are, welcome to France, you're safe
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-04
Updated: 2020-01-04
Packaged: 2021-02-27 10:48:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 72,409
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22115911
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shae_la_Hyene/pseuds/Shae_la_Hyene
Summary: After a drunk hook-up with his co-worker Damen, Laurent wakes up in his bed.It had been fun, it would stay a good memory in Laurent's mind, and nothing more.Yeah, but... Damen wants more. And always more.Laurent isn't sure he can't give as much as Damen wants from him.
Relationships: Auguste & Laurent (Captive Prince), Damen & Laurent (Captive Prince), Damen & Nikandros (Captive Prince), Damen/Laurent (Captive Prince), Kastor & Laurent (Captive Prince), Laurent & Nicaise (Captive Prince)
Comments: 12
Kudos: 40
Collections: Captive Prince Reverse Bang 2019





	I don't want easy, I want you

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Owenly](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Owenly/gifts).



A stubborn and aggressive ray of sunshine hit Laurent’s face, well decided to wake him up.

But Laurent was also very determined and would prove to that little sucker that he was the most stubborn of the two.

Sadly, though, after a few minutes of hard battle, Laurent had to admit that sleep wouldn’t come back to him and decided to properly open his eyes.

He was not in his bed, and this came as some sort of surprise. It was… rare.

A very warm arm was holding his waist softly. That was… even more rare.

Laurent wasn’t a very heavy sleeper, but he was not a morning person and would stay in bed as much as he could, most of the time longer than anyone else he could be… sleeping with.

Damen.

The memory came out of nowhere, like his mind had been browsing for it all the while and finally found the file.

He was in Damen’s bed.

He had sex with Damen last night. They went out for a drink after work, and it went late at night and Nikandros ended up leaving them like a pussy and Laurent decided he’d see Damen leave too. But Damen stayed. And they both had gotten pretty drunk and…

They had sex and Laurent somehow fell asleep. Alcohol was probably the culprit.

Well, that and the pretty wild and exhausting sex. But mostly the alcohol.

Damen’s arm was very soft and warm, you wouldn’t expect it by only the look of it, all bulging muscles and dark hair.

Laurent shifted slowly, as not to wake him up, enough to turn on himself and sit. Damen’s arm has slipped off him in the process, but now Laurent could watch him.

He couldn’t remember if he ever did that before, watch a hook-up sleep. He wasn’t sure he ever stayed long enough in bed with someone to do that.

Laurent tilted his head softly. Damen was cute when he was sleeping. His features peaceful and sleep heavy, lacking the frown he had sometimes when he wasn’t sure if Laurent was joking or not, or the dimple he had when he was smiling very wide.

As if his hand was moving on its own, or simply as his control was having a harder time waking up than the rest of himself, Laurent saw himself taking a stray curl between his fingers and gently put it back in the mess on Damen’s head, freeing his forehead.

Damen must have felt something, as he groaned softly. Laurent was so sure he had avoided touching the skin…

Damen slowly opened his eyes, his gaze focusing as it fell upon Laurent.

Laurent stayed still, waiting for his reaction. But he just smiled.

And smile wider and wider as he slowly awoke.

“Good morning,” he said softly.

Laurent smiled despite himself. Damen mirrored it, probably on instinct.

He pushed on his arms to sit up, bringing him to the same level as Laurent.

Laurent couldn’t help smiling more. Eventually, Damen asked “What’s funny ?”

At that, Laurent burst out of laughing, seeing as Damen smiled brightly next to him, probably unaware Laurent was laughing of him.

“You look like a whore !” Laurent finally spurted.

Damen only huffed a laugh, looking down upon himself. Laurent only laughed some more. Apparently not finding what Laurent was reffering to, Damen looked up again, right into Laurent’s eyes.

“What gave it away ?” Damen asked.

Laurent looked at him with some kind of pity.

“The nipple piercing certainly did,” he answered, before laughing even more.

Laurent’s laughter died quickly, face to the deep look he was given.

“Well,” Damen said. “You’re not bad either.”

Laurent felt himself blush, and directed his gaze elsewhere. From the corner of his eye, he could see Damen’s fascinated expression, like Laurent had just hanged down the moon right under his eyes. It only made him blush harder.

He shook it off, laying on his hands behind his back, stretching his legs.

“Do you even remember fucking me ?” he teased. “Or were you too drunk to know your own name ?”

Damen smiled and raised his chin playfully. “I was not as drunk as you, sweetheart. I may have drank more, but I’m twice your size.”

Cheeky. It made Laurent want to play.

“What ? You’re telling me the fat absorbs the vodka ?”

Damen’s mouth fell agape in dramatic indignation.

Laurent shuckled, proud of himself.

Until Damen’s strong arms suddenly took hold of his shoulders and pushed him on his back.

Damen’s smile was playful too. “Where do you see fat ?”

He settled more closely on top of Laurent, taking his wrists and pressing them in the mattress. “You didn’t seem to complain about it last night.”

Laurent was helplessly aroused and struggling to hide it when Damen was so close.

Damen’s eyes darkened, his gaze falling to Laurent’s lips.

Laurent didn’t move an eyelash, letting Damen kiss him, softly.

He pressed warm lips on Laurent’s, and move to take Laurent’s bottom one between his.

Laurent let his back arch from the pleasure, bringing their chests closer.

He felt Damen smile against his lips.

“Wanting another round ?”

Laurent turned his head, feigning indifference.

“Empty promises, again… You’re probably overestimating your stamina anyway.”

Damen groaned above him, tightening his grip on Laurent’s wrists.

Laurent’s laugh was shut soon by Damen dipping to kiss him again. Deep, long and hot.

A moan escaped Laurent’s throat illegally.

Damen really was good at kissing.

His hand left Laurent’s wrist to slowly lower itself on his side. His waist, his hip. That triggered another back arching from Laurent. When it reached his knee, Damen gripped Laurent’s leg and wrapped it around his middle, installing himself in between Laurent’s legs.

Laurent playfully sucked on Damen’s tongue, enjoying the flare of heat it sparked against him.

After that it didn’t take long for Damen to reach for the bottle of lube still between the sheets and generously coating Laurent’s rim. Rolling on a condom with only one hand to stubbornly keep the other clasped around Laurent’s wrists was a whole other story, but eventually he was inside, pounding hard inside Laurent.

He didn’t know what was different. The context maybe, but Laurent couldn’t remember that the simple act of fucking had so much effect on him before. Every thrust hit hard and made him see stars, drawing little moans and cries out of him.

Damen really was good at fucking.

They climaxed rather quickly. Damen only coming after Laurent.

Very gentleman of him, thought Laurent cynically.

Damen pushed off of him, breathless, leaving Laurent to catch his own breath, and pull away the condom, throwing it somewhere after – he really didn’t want to know where.

After a while Laurent managed to get on his feet – his ass was going to hurt for the rest of the day – he went for the bathroom, without a word.

But of course Damen couldn’t shut up.

“Where are you going ?”

Laurent turned to him. “I have come and lube everywhere. I need a shower. And frankly, you do too.

“Can I come ?” asked Damen.

Laurent gave him a dubious look. “I thought you just did.”

At Damen’s shuckle, he continued. “It’s your bathroom, you don’t need my permission.”

Damen tilted his head, like he thought Laurent was cute. Laurent wanted to rip his head off his shoulders.

“I meant : do you want us to shower together ?” Damen said.

Seriously ? Did that man ever stop ?

“You are not fucking me again, Damen. It’s enough for a night.”

Damen laughed openly. “I don’t want to fuck ! Just to share the shower !”

Oh. Laurent didn’t expect that. “Why ?” he asked after a pause.

Damen didn’t answer directly. “You never had a shower with someone else ?” he asked.

Laurent decided he didn’t like Damen’s questions. So he just didn’t give it an answer.

“It’s really nice,” Damen continued. “I think you’ll like it.”

Laurent nodded, slowly, then made for the door.

It still was weird to feel Damen following him in the tiny room.

And kinda awkward to just stand there while Damen started the water for it to have time to heat up.

Removing his hand from under the flow when he probably deemed it hot enough, Damen turned his head to Laurent. “You comin’,” he said, entering the shower first.

After a second of hesitancy, Laurent followed him.

It was really tight to be two in there. Too tight and too hot to feel anything but highly sexual. Yet Damen didn’t seem to want to make any move toward a sexual goal.

It shouldn’t have disturbed Laurent so much but it did.

The water was scorching hot when Laurent went under the flow. So much for the ‘warm’ he expected. But his body managed to adapt to the temperature after a few seconds of Laurent’s stubbornly staying still. But it made his skin very pink, almost red.

He jumped when he felt Damen almost gluing his chest to Laurent’s back.  
Damen’s arm instantly wrapped around Laurent’s waist as to reassure him, and his other hand came to gently comb through Laurent’s damp hair.

It felt… nice. It was highly unexpected and Laurent was on a totally unknown ground and he wasn’t really sure he liked being in that ground but… the contact was soft and sweet and the water made it intimate and close and it was… it was nice.

After a few seconds, Laurent allowed himself to relax against Damen’s chest.

“You good ?” asked Damen softly, apparently unable to properly conjugate a question.

Laurent’s eyes were closed and he really didn’t feel like talking, so he just hummed non-committically. It made Damen breath out a soft short laugh.

But he didn’t add anything, just held Laurent against him for a long moment.

Laurent sincerely hoped he had a good income of heat water in stock because he didn’t plan to leave that shower any time soon but really didn’t wanted to end up showering cold.

But, as Damen took his showers boiling, it was probably something he invested in. Enormous supply of hot water. ‘Clever boy’ thought Laurent, squirming to bury himself more into Damen’s chest. Damen’s arms wound up tighter around him.

After a while, tho, Damen let go of him enough to grab a bottle of shampoo. Not for himself as Laurent expected. He put a little of it in the palm of his hand and then brought both of his hands up to work the shampoo into Laurent’s thin hair.

Laurent could only stand there, still in complete shock. It was probably the sweetest thing that anyone ever did for him, and it was from a muscle mountain. Something didn’t click in Laurent’s mind and it took him several moments to go back to reality. 

It was a good reality. Damen’s hands were slow and gentle on Laurent’s head.

Laurent started to relax again, focusing on the feeling of Damen’s fingers combing through his hair.

Damen hummed, and Laurent turned to ask why when Damen said “I really love your hair.”

Laurent felt himself blushing. He was thankful that his skin was mostly red by now that it hid it. He mumbled a quiet “thank you” before turning back and grabbing the shampoo himself, pouring it in his palm. His own hair were mostly rinsed by now, so he gestured to Damen to turn and applied the product on Damen’s wet curls.

The curls themselves were stubborn enough to stay in shape even drenched in water, and Laurent couldn’t help but admire that.

When both of them were completely rinsed off of shampoo, Damen turned in Laurent’s arms and quickly kissed him on the lips, as if he was stealing something. It was oddly cute, and the thought made Laurent smile.

Damen grabbed a loofah behind Laurent and poured soap on it, rubbing it on Laurent’s shoulder immediately after. Laurent was still taken appart by the softness of it all.

If it was always like that to take a shower with a lover, then Laurent really did miss something before.

Because Damen looked so smug by seeing what most likely looked like a lovestruck fool, Laurent grabbed the loofah from his hand and pushed it on Damen’s face.

Damen made a sound of surprise before laughing again.

Sadly for Laurent, the little drop of foam on Damen’s nose tip only made him more adorable and Laurent more fucked up. That was not fair.

The loofah well forgotten on the shower floor, Damen leaned down to kiss Laurent deeply, the latter helplessly arching up to meet him, his arms winding around Damen’s neck. They kissed for a while, until Laurent realized he was definitely turned on, and hardly hiding it.

Damen grinned smugly against his lips.

“Looks like you were the one underestimating your stamina, in the end,” he said.

Laurent felt himself turn beet red.

“My stamina’s just fine, and I never doubted it,” Laurent said with faked assurance. “It’s just the heat. You take your showers boiling hot.”

Damen hummed.

“Wanna do something about it ?”

Truly this man was unable to formulate a question properly !

Laurent steeled himself. “You’re not fucking me again. My ass wouldn’t forgive me.”

Damen laughed brightly.

“I don’t need to fuck you to make you come !” he said.

Before Laurent could ask what he meant by that, Damen was already on his knees, applying open mouth kisses below Laurent’s belly button.

“Oh !” he only had time to say before Damen applied his mouth to Laurent’s cock, taking it all in at once.

Laurent let out a very loud, unchecked moan.

Ok. This really did felt good.

Just like the showering, he instantly understood why everyone made so much of a deal about it. But it was so much better than the showering…

Damen slowly pulled off, only leaving the tip in his mouth, and curling his tongue around it. Laurent couldn’t help but moan again.

Damen applied his mouth again and again, playing with his tongue and his lips and Laurent lost count of everything that was happening except for the warm wet feeling around him.

Embarassingly quickly, he knew he was getting dangerously close. So much for stamina…

He needed to warn Damen. He struggled to open his mouth on something else than moans for a few seconds before spurting out a “Damen, I’m close !”

He sounded desperate even to his own ears but he was too far gone to really care.

The message probably didn’t pass, thought, because Damen didn’t pull off, instead took him deeper and quicker, throwing Laurent over the edge.

Laurent cried out when he came, right in Damen’s mouth.

He was about to apologize, to feel guilty, something, when Damen got back on his feet in front of him, swallowing quietly under Laurent’s eyes, then proceed to kiss him deep.

It was filthy. Laurent could taste his own cum in Damen’s mouth. It should have disgusted him. But strangely, it didn’t. He kissed Damen back, feeling good and sated and comfortable.

Leaving Laurent to his post orgasmic haze, Damen grabbed back the loofah and quickly finished to clean them both.

God, was this man even real ? Laurent could only watch him, not quite able yet to make coherent movements.

As soon as he managed to control his brain again, he reached up between Damen’s legs, but Damen pushed his hand off, laughing softly.

“Thanks but I’m good.”

Laurent frowned. Sex was an exchange of pleasure. No one gave without expecting something in return.

And it was not because he didn’t like Laurent’s handjobs, he liked it fine the night before.

Then why ?

It disturbed Laurent. And he hated that it disturbed him that much.

But rather than ask and make it even more awkward, Laurent shrugged it off. “Ok…”

Damen didn’t seem to notice, his smiley face already turned to open the door and grab them towels.

He, for real, took out fresh clean towels and gave them to Laurent, wrapping the bigger around his back and rubbed in softly before turning to wrap his own towel around himself. Laurent could only watch in awe, it looked like it was so natural for Damen, that he didn’t even notice he was doing it.

Damen left the bathroom, bringing with him a cloud of steam.

Whether it was on purpose or not, Laurent was thankful for the moment of solitude that was given to him and that he needed to recompose himself from… whatever had happened.

His control back, he opened the bathroom again, to see Damen in lose sweatpants, rummaging through his drawer, likely to find a top, which was a shame considering the artpiece that were his abs. Laurent noticed the t-shirt folded on top of the covers, and went to pass it on.

“Breakfast ?” asked Damen, after sadly covering those lovely abs.

Laurent finished to towel his hair, taking the time to think about it.

‘Take the good while it’s here’ he remembered.

“Yeah why not ?” he said lightly.

Damen gave him the biggest grin ever. It felt like Laurent signed up to live with him forever. Maybe he should have said no…

Sitting at the kitchen island, he looked at Damen trying to do everything at the same time. And surprisingly managing.

Laurent yawned.

“That’s a lot of sex,” he said. “In very little time. Do you do that to all your hook ups ?”

Damen let out a small laugh.

“Is that a complaint ?” he said without turning to Laurent.

Laurent sit back into his chair. “Simple curiosity” he mumbled.

Damen didn’t answer. That happened to be the moment he started to pile apparently the totality of his kitchen’s food onto the island.  
Laurent grabbed a piece of toast.

There was Darth Vader burnt on it.

“Darth Vader ? Really ?” Laurent could almost taste the cynism in his own words.

Damen looked at it as if he couldn’t even remember he made him villain toast.

“Yeah” he laughed. “It was a gift. A joke maybe, I’m not really sure. But it works well ! The toasts are always perfectly… toasted.”

He said the last words like he was trying to grip at the next vine and was about to fall miserably on the ground.

Laurent throw him a dubious look. Hard to trust a man couldn’t even control his own sentences. But he bit into the bread nonetheless.

Damn, he was right. That fucking man was even perfect at making toast. That was unfair.

“That’s it. I hate you,” Laurent stated bitterly.

Damen looked like a puppy just after being kicked. “W… why ?” he stuttered.

Laurent could have burst out of laughing, right there and then, but managed to keep a straight face. Still looking down at his plate, he added : “I won’t be able to enjoy my own toast from my own toaster from my own home that I love now. Not anymore. I can as easily just throw it away and it’s because of you and your fucking Star Wars toaster !”

Laurent saw the moment the words hit home because Damen’s face lit up like a christmas tree. Laurent couldn’t repress a little grin himself.

“Well that’s too bad !” boomed Damen. “Because that toaster is here to stay.”

He seemed suddenly strucked by an idea and Laurent shield himself when he felt where the conversation was going.

“But if you want to, you can always come back to have more toast” Damen said softly.

Damn, Laurent should always listen to his instinct.

He turned his head down, looking into his plate, looking for words that wouldn’t make the situation difficult.

They weren’t there. As surprising as it sound, life’s answers were rarely to be found in plates of fried eggs.

He decided to be direct. After a sighed, he said softly.

“We had drunk sex last night. Yeah, that was fun, but I’m pretty sure we didn’t sign a marriage contract.”

He raised his gaze after that, wanting to see Damen’s reaction.

It was… very expressive. Damen’s face was always very expressive. He must suck at lying… A mix of surprise, understanding and attempt of reassurance.

“Oh I know !” he said. “I didn’t mean it like that ! Of course ! We can go at whatever pace you want !”

So he did want to go further. Laurent wasn’t aware of being that good of a fuck, more like the contrary…

He hummed but didn’t add anything else, going back to his plate, his mood just a little more somber.

After a few minutes, Damen’s voice filled the silence again.

“So… what do you want to do today ?”

Laurent froze.

“Why do you care ?” he asked prudently.

Damen moved his head from left to right and again, looking for his words ?

“Well I haven’t anything planned and since you don’t seem in a hurry I’d say you don’t either. So I thought maybe we could do something together ?”

He looked like an oversized puppy. Maybe Laurent hadn’t been clear enough before.

“Like a date,” he said flatly.

Damen simply laughed. “No. Not like a date. Just like friends or even just… acquintances that are both bored ?”

Laurent smiled at the phrasing.

Then he sighed. He couldn’t afford a day off. Not yet.

“I should be working,”he said.

Damen seemed surprised. Maybe he was one to never work outside the office.

“But… we’re saturday !” he said.

Laurent felt himself harden. “I’m aware of that. But if you obviously can afford losing your job, I, for one, can’t. So I’m working even when I’m not technically paid for it.”

He wanted to sound definitive. But mid sentence he caught Damen’s puppy eyes and his determination weakened.

He sighed again, in exasperation this time. He’ll never get anything done as long as Damen was there.

“Fine,” Laurent let out. “What do you have in mind ?”

If Damen had a tail, Laurent was sure he would be wagging it then, judging by his booming smile. A puppy. This muscle mountain of more than two fucking meters was just an overgrown puppy.

“There is a fair today two streets from here,” Damen said with the biggest smile.

Ridiculous.

“What ?” said Laurent with a mocking smile. “You want to win me a giant teddy bear by punching something really hard ?”

Damen smiled back. “We will do whatever you want.”

“You shouldn’t challenge me,” said Laurent. “You’re sure to regret it at some point.”

The fair was… as expected. Noisy, dirty, sticky, loud, fake. With too much light. And just too much sugar and oil. Even for Laurent.

Like all fair, with the same old unsecured thrill rides, the same dusty and falling aparts attractions. The same fair Laurent thought was so magical when he was a child, but lost the taste of growing up.

Damen was all bouncy and tail-wagging and looked so happy it was more fascinating than all the lights and all the attractions. Laurent couldn’t keep his eyes off of him.

Laurent looked everywhere but there was no stand where they would have to punch something very hard, so Laurent’s joke was falling down.

Seeing red and white stripes, Laurent grabbed Damen by the arm.

“I want cotton candy,” he said without turning to face Damen.

Laurent only heard his laugh and was very thankful of their position, hiding his blush of embarassment from Damen.

The candy seller gave them wide fake smiles.

“That makes two cotton candy for the gentlemen ?”

Damen shook his head, putting a hand on Laurent’s shoulder proprietary.

“No. Only one. We’ll share.”

This man was truly ridiculous. What did he wanted to prove to that guy ?

Laurent pushed his hand away.

“If you think I’m gonna share MY candy with you, you’re deeply wrong, gentleman.”

Laurent went to search for cash in his pocket but Damen was quicker, handing over the bills before Laurent could intervene.

He opened the mouth to complain but Damen cut it short.

“I pay. I’m the one who brought you here unprepared, I owe you that.”

Laurent was about to fight for it when all of his energy fell down. ‘You have to pick your battles’ he thought. A cotton candy in an overpriced fair wasn’t a battle worth that much of energy.

As they walked off the stand, Laurent asked angrily “What was that exactly ?”

Damen played innocent, he was such a bad actor.

“What ? You’re here because of me, I pay.”

“Oh come on !” said Laurent, stopping in front of Damen, making him stop too. “You looked like you were about to bump heads with that guy to prove you were the alpha one !”

Damen turned scarlet. “I was not !” he said loudly.

Laurent sighed. There was really no point arguing.

“I still want my teddy bear,” he said without batting an eyelash.

And so, after a bit more of tail-wagging, they went to a more realistic ball throwing booth. Laurent was somehow annoyed at not seeing Damen punch something, but he could live with that. What he couldn’t, though…

“Hey !” he screamed, batting away Damen’s hand that ripped a piece of cotton candy from Laurent’s cone. Before Damen could bring it to his mouth, he stole the piece back.

“That is MY cotton candy. If you wanted some, you should have bought one for yourself, and let me fucking pay for mine. You don’t offer me something and then act like it’s yours. That’s just not working like that !”

He knew he sounded too harsh. He knew he was overreacting, in everyone else’s mind, but his brain just couldn’t stand the idea of going back to an abusive pattern. Of feeling like a property again. Like he wasn’t enough of a person to actually own something only to himself.

Never again.

He should take it back, that was the realistic behaviour to have.

He didn’t. He stayed right where he was, looking sternely in Damen’s eyes, who looked surprised and a bit afraid. ‘Good,’ Laurent couldn’t help but think.

“Am… I’m sorry,” Damen managed to get out.

Laurent broke eye contact, leaving him be.

It was their turn at the booth, and after paying the owner, Damen managed to knock down two thirds of the cups, which was not bad, but frankly not high enough to Laurent’s expectations, which he notified Damen calmly.

“Oh really ?” Damen exclaimed loudly. “You’re better, probably. I can’t wait to see that !”

The tone was playful, and Laurent got caught in the game.

“Not to that,” he said. “This is for barbarians, no finesse, no style.”

He went to a rifles stand nearby. “Now that, in the contrary, is totally in my style.”

Handing a bill to the owner, he seized the gun and placed it against his shoulder.

“See ? Style, precision, skill, this is the game of gentlemen.”

Luckily for the sake of his little show, he aimed right all of three times, and won a huge plushie to give Damen, making the tiny bear he won at the ball throwing look truly ridiculous.

“You may be right,” conceded Damen. “But I still stand on my grounds : you avoided the ball throwing because you would have made far worse than me.”

“I may be right ? No, I’m always right,” said Laurent, carefully avoiding to comment on the second part.

Damen gave him back his cotton candy, that he hold for him while he was shooting.

Untouched. Well at least not more than when Laurent gave it to him. Laurent relaxed a bit from it.

“Now what ?” he asked, engulfing big mouthfulls of airy sugar in order to finish it and throw the cone away in one of the overfull bins.

“Well I’m hungry,” said Damen.

“Of course you are. You have the size of the horse. You probably never stop eating,” said Laurent lightly.

And you did think you would have some of my candy so you didn’t bother buying your own stuff.

Damen shuckled and went in the direction of yet another junk greasy food stand.

“You’re not really going to eat that ?” he asked, his whole body rejecting the idea and the sight of the monstrosity that was Damen’s pick.

“Why ?” asked Damen with wide puppy eyes. It’s just a glazed donut.”

Laurent shook his head. “No it’s not. Not when there is meat and cheese in the middle. This is an abomination.”

Damen was already chewing on his first bite.

“It’s really good, you know ! Best of both worlds !”

“Damen, if those two worlds are separated, there is a reason,” said Laurent in his best condescending tone.

Damen chuckled again. He did that a lot, seemingly thinking everything Laurent was saying was a joke. Well it was not.

“Want to do a roller coaster ? Or something else ?”

Laurent crossed his arm on his chest. “Well I’m not doing the thing where you get lost in the mirrors and windows, so we’ll have to find something else I guess ?”

He looked around himself, smirking when his eyes settled on what would not make him look ridiculous.

“Why not the big wheel ?”

Damen hesitated, but only for a second. “Alright. Let’s go.”

Damen was… edgy, while they waited for their turn. Laurent chose not to comment. If Damen had something he wanted to talk about, he would have to do that himself. He talked a little faster, too. Was he scared ?

“Is that what you usually do in fairs ?” Damen asked, looking everywhere but at Laurent.

“Not really. Haven’t been to a fair since I was like… nine. Probably. I don’t remember well.”

Damen’s eyes came quickly back to him. “Really ?” he asked, looking very surprised.

“Yes,” Laurent said, anxiously waiting for the next question.

But it didn’t come. Instead they were called over by the owner to pay and place themselves to wait for the next seats. Damen paid, again. Even if it was Laurent’s choice.

Laurent decided not to think about it too much, focusing on enjoying the ride.

He never saw his city from so high, before. He somehow recognized every parts of it, but the perspective of it was so different it was like he was rediscovering it completely.

A noise brought his attention back to the basket.

Damen was fidgeting, looking almost panicked.

“What ? Are you afraid of heights ?” Laurent finally asked, deeply annoyed.

“Afraid is a big word,” Damen chuckled.

That meant yes. Laurent sighed. What a dumbass.

“Why did you agree to come then ? You’re ridiculous !”

Damen smile, honest. “You wanted to go ? Didn’t want to give away the occasion to be in a little basket alone with you. I just didn’t think it would be so high…”

“It’s a high wheel, Damen. What did you expect ?” Laurent asked sternely.

“Not so high…” Damen whispered, his eyes drawn by the fair beside them.

“Let’s talk about something else !” he exclaimed finally.

Laurent smiled, amused by his pathetic efforts.

“About what ?” he asked playfully. “Tell me, Damianos. What could possibly help, when you are so high in the sky, I mean, several floors high, you relax and forget about the distance from the ground.”

Ok, that was a bit cruel, but Laurent was having a lot of fun, and Damen was just slightly white.

Damen looked really frightened for a bit, before shrugging it off, visibly giving himself the ‘man up’ talk, and looked Laurent straight in the eyes.

“Kiss me.”

The intensity in his eyes made it difficult for Laurent to say no. His own gaze fell to Damen’s lips.

It wasn’t that big of a deal anyway, they were fucking only a couple hours ago. It was just a kiss.

It felt like more.

“You taste sticky,” Laurent whispered against Damen’s lips, their foreheads pressed together.

They stayed like that for a very long while. Longer than they should have.

But Damen was calmer and Laurent felt good and… it wasn’t wrong.

The basket shook around them, signaling the starting of their descent.

They separated slowly, none of them saying a word, letting the basket reach the ground jerkily.

The barriers opened automatically, and Damen, closer to the exist, left first.

When Laurent moved to leave the basket too, Damen took his hand to stabilize his step down.

It was ridiculous, really. Laurent didn’t need help for half a meter of distance and he had really outgrown the need for a white knight.

It really looked too much like a date and Laurent was losing control and it had to stop.

Yes. Laurent was panicking.

But Laurent didn’t do dates. For very good reasons. And he couldn’t mess up that much with someone from work. Someone who could have a really negative impact in his life. Make him lose his job, maybe even leave a mark on his resume that will screw Laurent forever. He sure wasn’t rich enough to afford losing his job, as shitty as it was, and all hope for another one after that.

It had to stop.

“I have to go,” Laurent said abruptly, stopping dead in his track.

Damen stopped too and turned to him.

“Oh,” he said, looking surprised. And sad. He did look sad. “Ok. I guess we’ll see each other soon ?”

“Yes,” said Laurent. “Monday. At work. As coworkers.”

He hoped he sounded clear and definitive enough to make Damen stop.

Laurent practically ran after that. Ran away from Damen, from this date he didn’t agree to have, from the situation and his lost of control, from the unknown and the unprepared and all the risks.

Away from Damen. And maybe his heart clenched a bit from that…

The bus ride to his appartment was grey and rainy and pathetic but not in a pretty aesthetic way. Just a drunk guy getting way too close to him at the bus stop, the awful voice that announced the next stops and the cold light of the neons.

Laurent hated himself.

When he finally passed his door, a bit damp and disgusting, throwing his keys moodily in the table neart the entry, he decided that work be damned, he wouldn’t do anything more than throw himself in his couch and stay there until monday.

But there was already someone on the couch, sprawled in front of the television with no care of the world.

“Hey” said Nicaise.

Laurent only grumbled for an answer, before pushing away Nicaise’s legs to sit next to him. As an afterthought, he grabbed the legs back and pulled them on top of his thighs.

Nicaise was stiff, and admittedly Laurent was stiff too.

They were still working on the casual non threatening touches. But those « natural » steps were the only way to get anywhere.

“You’ve been here long ?”

Eyeing the bowl of popcorn on Nicaise’s lap, he reached to grab a handful before the teenager could stop him.

“Since yesterday night, but you were not here.”

“Sorry about that,” said Laurent. “Did you slept on the couch again ?”

Nicaise’s silence was all the answer Laurent needed.

“You have a room. And a bed, all for you. You could make use of it from time to time, you know ?”

Nicaise stubbornly stayed silent.

Laurent sighed. It felt like a battle he already lost before he started it.

“You had a hook-up last night ?” asked Nicaise.

“Yes…” answered Laurent prudently after a silence. The subject of Laurent’s sex life, and really sex in general, was still a bombed land of a subject with Nicaise. He never knew what could be the boy’s limits and what he wanted to hear.

Nicaise just hummed.

After a few minutes, where Laurent both tried to focus on the TV and felt himself dissociate slightly, Nicaise spoke again.

“You stayed there all day too ? You never do that.”

Laurent sighed more heavily.

“I… did not. I stayed for breakfast. And then he wanted to go to the fair and I said yes and we went and then… it looked too much like a date and I think I panicked and left.”

Laurent didn’t look Nicaise in the eyes. He wasn’t sure he wouldn’t becore an overemotionnal puddle of tears if he did look at him. So he kept his eyes straight at the screen.

“Fascinating day” Nicaise finally said with a bored tone.

Laurent was so thankful that he didn’t insist on the subject, and they contempted themselves of jus watching a baking reality show for a while.

“Let’s bake” said Laurent after an hour of mouth-watering cake decorating on the screen.

Nicaise raised his legs to let Laurent go, but except than that didn’t move from his spot.

As Laurent started to get out everything in the kitchen, Nicaise asked, in a very annoying amused tone.

“I thought you were down, not up ?”

“I think I want pie,” was all that Laurent answered.

He didn’t want to dwell on things. He didn’t want to have to analyse anything until a few days at least. He just wanted to let himself go by the flow, for once, knowing Nicaise was here to stop him from doing anything dangerous.

Laurent woke up with something akin to a hungover ?

But he knew he didn’t drank. Maybe it was just dehydratation and exhaustion and those nasty chemicals messing up with his brain.

It left him a bitter taste in the mouth and a terrible headache.

And… various pain everywhere in his body. You would have thought he learned his lesson not to sleep on the couch anymore.

He was still wrapped in a weird position, a plaid thrown on him.

It still surprised him how caring Nicaise could be sometimes, when no one was watching him and he could drop his persona.

He smelled remnants of pumpkin and pie dough. Pie for breakfast then. And tea. A fountain of tea.

Rolling around to stay under the blanket to avoid the icy air of this autumn morning, he settled in a way that finally made his back straight and comfortable. He was too old to sleep on couches. In fact he thought that sleeping on couches was in itself a very bad idea and shouldn’t be for anyone, no matter their age.

He only left it for two nights but he already missed his bed like crazy.

But apparently not enough for his exhausted mind to sleep in it the night before.

He was sure it was Nicaise’s fault. He was the one to put him there.

“Wakey wakey” Nicaise said behind him.

Laurent squeezed his eyes harder shut, and only gave a pained moan.

It was too early to rise.

He didn’t know the time but it was too early.

“I’m guessing you want a tea ?”

The little brat.

Laurent magnanimously moaned his acceptance of the proposition.

He’d still have to get up to take it though…

After Nicaise’s chuckle, Laurent sighed and built in his mind the notion of leaving the relative protection of the plaid, which really wasn’t much of a proper cover and left bits of air reach him while being too thin to properly keep him warmer than the outside.

It really wasn’t that comfortable, really, but his brain still protested at the idea of leaving it. Thinking of the heat of the tea only, Laurent extricated himself from the couch and went to sit in the kitchen, facing Nicaise who was looking at him, apparently inches away from laughing his ass off.

Laurent probably looked like shit then.

This felt weirdly domestic and hungover Laurent didn’t really like that.

“Where did you sleep ?” Laurent asked with a crooked voice. “On the couch with me ?”

“In your bed,” came the lightening fast answer from Nicaise.

Laurent looked at him, indigned.

“You have a fucking bed ! A brand new, perfectly fine bed of your own ! In your own fucking room ! Why did you feel the need to invade mine ?”

That was just plain rude !

Nicaise let out a little laugh, at Laurent’s detriment.

“Don’t know, don’t care.”

Laurent grumbled. There must have been a reason why Nicaise was avoiding his own bed with all his might. Laurent felt kinda awful about it. Like all his efforts to make Nicaise’s room welcoming were treated like shit, like it would never be enough.

The logical part of his mind knew the problem was probably elsewhere, in Nicaise’s own limits, but the bad feeling wouldn’t go. So he didn’t comment.

He had to wash the linens anyway…

Grudgingly, he sipped on his coffee. Added three sugar cubes as Nicaise obviously didn’t care enough to sweetened it beforehand. He knew the excitant would help the day to go more smoothly, even if he would have to pay for it with a peak of exhaustion in a few hours. He also forced himself to swallow some toast to fill his stomach with real food, and felt himself deflate when he realised he was right the day before : his toast will never taste as good as before now that he had this stupid Darth Vader perfect toast.

He sighed.

“Pass me the jam would you ?” he said to Nicaise, who was watching him intently since he got up.

Nicaise did, but couldn’t stop himself from adding : “You really look like shit.”

Laurent placated the fakest smile he could manage on his face.

“Thank you, Nicaise !” he said in a parrot voice. “You know I always appreciate your input !”

That made Nicaise laugh, an edge of villain in his voice.

Despite himself, that made Laurent smile.

After a few more moments to properly wake up in silence, Laurent asked :

“You want to do something in particular today ?”

Nicaise shrugged. “Not really. He promised me to take me to the restaurant tonight, so I’m leaving in a couple hours.”

The sad “Oh” left Laurent’s mouth before he could swallow it. “I see.”

It would be stupid to ask when he would come back, as Nicaise didn’t know either, but still a part of him wanted to.

“Yep,” said Nicaise, not looking him in the eyes.

The silence stretched between them, uncomfortable. Laurent shook himself out of it.

“Something quick then ! Do you want to learn how to play poker ?”

Nicaise gave him a soft smile, not buying his try to change the subject but agreeing to it anyway. “Why not ?”

After Laurent stripped bare his bed linens and made a trip to the building’s basement to lauch the laundry cycle, he came back home to see Nicaise making sandwiches in the kitchen, somehow managing to wreck chaos even more in it. Just for a couple sandwiches.

Laurent sighed, and his eyes caught the empty bedroom, through the slightly opened door. He stopped in his tracks to open it more and take a look inside.

True, it was boring. Buying the furniture, bed and mattress, and bedding, stretched his budget a lot, when he did. So the decorations weren’t really a priority. It was bland, it wasn’t exciting, and didn’t look at all like a teenager’s bedroom. He didn’t look lively.

And Nicaise got used to the luxury of his uncle’s gifts, of more than what Laurent could offer.

Still he couldn’t bring himself to decorate it, to buy for it things that Nicaise could hate, and make him avoid his room even more.

True, Laurent’s room wasn’t much more decorated than this one. Maybe he could take them both in some kind of thrift store or dollar store to find stuff to make their rooms more like themselves.

He scoffed to himself. It was a stupid idea. Nicaise would probably brush it off as ‘poor stuff’ and give him hell for it.

He’ll just have to find something else…

“Ready !” shouted Nicaise from the living room.

Laurent smiled sadly, passing by the closet to pick up the old poker case he had there, and went to join the teen and teach him all he knew on the wonderful game of poker…

Laurent wouldn’t admit it, but to see Nicaise leave that afternoon broke his heart. Seeing him go back to his uncle’s hands was getting more difficult every time, as he knew Nicaise hated to be there a little more everyday, realizing slowly he would soon be thrown away like a too old puppy.

He stayed right where he was, sitting on his couch, his eyes in the void, for what seemed like hours, his mind processing again and again the awful scenes his imagination provided of what was surely happening again and again.

He knew he should do something, to stop it. He knew he had to get Nicaise out of there. But he was powerless. And he learned quickly that the police wouldn’t do shit, wouldn’t even listen to him.

Eventually he remembered about the laundry, and sighed, before getting up to go dry his linens, to be able to sleep in his bed that night.

He already had enough nights out of it for the week.

Apparently Damen was allergic to subtelty, for he tried to talk to Laurent all day, a goofy smile on his face that signalled a conversation topic all but professional.

It was starting to get on Laurent’s nerves to have to avoid him, and to have to make a lot of efforts for it.

He started to relax a little as everyone else started to leave for the lunch break and Damen was nowhere on sight.

Until he felt a hand on his elbow, dragging him quickly in the bathroom.

He was about to start fighting back when the hand released him and he turned to see Damen and his goofy smile. Laurent breathed out.

“I see,” he said icily. “Your fantastic ego just can’t take being ignored.”

Damen smiled, just a tiny bit forced. “Hello,” he said.

Laurent looked at him like he was stupid.

“Hello,” he said, condescending. “Happy ? Can I go now ?”

He made to leave but Damen grabbed his arm again.

“What ?” asked Laurent, exasperated for good now.

“Why are you avoiding me ?” said Damen.

Laurent sighed. “Because we are at work, we are coworkers and you look like you were about to tell the whole building you finally got to fuck me, or maybe like you wanted to ask something stupid like ‘can I take you out’. If you have something related to work to tell me, I’ll listen.”

“Then how do you know it wasn’t related to work ?” asked Damen, lightening fast.

Laurent looked at him as to say ‘are you fucking kidding me ?’

Damen shrugged. “Ok it was not about work,” he said finally. “But you could have just told me to stop, like a grown-up.”

Laurent grinded his teeth. “Well apparently I didn’t,” he said coldly. “Can I go now ?”

“Wait,” said Damen before holding his waist and pressing him against the wall.

The bathroom wall, Laurent reminded himself. Of public restroom, so a dirty wall who probably had seen stuff that would make Laurent puke.

His thought stopped, though, as soon as Damen started to kiss him.

After a second of surprise, Laurent’s body responded to it and he kissed back hungrily.

Damen pressed himself closer, kissing him deeper and harder.

Laurent was starting to get lost to it.

When Damen started to grind his crotch against Laurent’s, his arousal hard to miss, Laurent managed to push him back.

“Damen,” he moaned.

Moaned. Fuck had he any control left ?

Damen tried to press back to kiss him again, but Laurent stopped him.

“We’re at work, we shouldn’t be doing that.”

Damen grinned, his eyes on Laurent’s lips. Laurent felt his own arousal making itself painfully clear.

“Technically,” Damen said, “it’s lunch break. So even if you never truly take it, you’re not supposed to work as you’re not paid. We’re not working.”

Laurent laughed. “Yeah but we live in reality, not in Theory, and we’re still in our workplace and anyone could enter and see us.”

Damen groaned, pulling away from Laurent and went to the door, kicking the door stopper in and locking it.

“Here. Happy now ?” he said smugly.

Laurent didn’t even try to answer, pulling Damen back in himself, wrapping an arm around his neck.

They started to kiss again, more heated, more heading to a purpose.

Damen’s hand slowly went down, from Laurent’s neck to his pants.

Laurent let out a moan when he felt Damen’s fingers undo the button and the fly.

His breath caught in his throat then, because Damen’s hand had found its way under his underwear and cupped him, the grip firm on Laurent’s hardness.

“Do you have… ?” Laurent managed to breath out.

Damen made an affirmative groan, digging in his pocket to get out a condom and a small bottle of lube.

“So sure you’d get me uh ?” Laurent couldn’t help but chuckle.

Damen pressed himself even more against Laurent’s body, and looked right in his eyes.

“I was hoping. Better prepared than sorry,” he said, his voice deep and strained.

Damen squeezed Laurent’s cock, once, and Laurent jerked, hard.

He saw the effect it had on Damen, his pupils dilating even more, his gaze unfocused on Laurent’s lips.

Suddenly, Damen gripped Laurent’s hips hard, and turned him around, pressing him against the sinks. Laurent gasped as he felt Damen aligning his whole body flushed against his back. He wanted more, and he wanted it quickly, the desire having escalated all at once.

“Damen…” he moaned again.

Damen’s hands were fumbling on his pants, pushing them down with Laurent’s underwear, just enough to access his hole.

He pushed a finger in, hard and dry, and Laurent’s breath caught in his throat.

Damen’s lips were at the back of his neck in an instant, his other hand occupied to open the bottle of lube.

After a ‘pop’, Damen removed his digit, and applied a generous amount of lube on his fingers, placing them back at Laurent’s entrance immediately after, pressing two inside.

Laurent gasped again, and let out a long moan when Damen started pulling and pushing in and out. In a matter of seconds, he pressed a third finger in, barely leaving enough time for Laurent to adjust.

Damen pressed his head harder in Laurent’s neck, grazing the sensitive skin there with his teeth. He groaned and Laurent could imagine him stroking himself behind his back, and it send a wave of heat right to his cock.

Damen’s fingers left Laurent’s hole and he moaned in need.

He heard the opening of a condom wrap and saw Damen fumble on the mirror in front of them.

Then, as sudden and unanounced as Damen’s fingers were, his cock pressed in Laurent in one strong quick push, and Laurent cried out.

Damen groaned again, lost in his own desire, and started to pump hard into Laurent’s ass, pressing him more and more firmly against the sinks with every push.

It was selfish, and hard, almost violent, but it was so good.

Even as it was verging on pain, Laurent wouldn’t have stopped it for anything.

He found himself moaning louder and louder with every push, Damen fucking him out of his control and poise.

Damen’s hands were gripping his hips, holding him so he could fuck him even deeper, even harder. They would leave marks, and Laurent felt heat raising even more at the thought. He was bitting his lips, trying to keep his moans and cries in check, but it was of little use, and he could only hope there wasn’t anyone on this floor who would hear them.

Damen’s pace was quickening, and after a few erratic seconds, he pushed deep in, and stilled, coming in Laurent’s warmth. Laurent cried out.

Damen’s grip hardened and he pressed every inch oh his body flush against Laurent’s back, before going limp, his cock softening between Laurent’s asscheeks.

Laurent moaned in despair, feeling his own release escaping from him.

Damen nodded, breathless, against his nape, and relaxed his hands on Laurent’s hips, shifting them on his waist and turning him softly so they were facing again, Laurent’s ass hitting the sinks.

He watched as Damen, heavy lidded and flushed, went slowly on his knees and took Laurent’s cock in his mouth in one quick swallow.

Laurent gasped, forgetting how to breath for a few seconds, and let out a long drawn out moan as Damen started to suck him eagerly.

It only took a moment for Laurent to come, hard, in the wet heat of Damen’s mouth.

After that his body went limp too, his jaw unclenching, and he went soft and pliant when Damen’s arms wrapped securely around his waist, his face leaning in for a hot, salt-tasting, open-mouthed kiss. Laurent moaned softly, sated, and let Damen’s tongue in his mouth, to lick and caress his own.

They stayed like that for a couple of minutes, catching their breaths and stopping their body from softly shaking from their releases.

When their lips parted, Damen pressed his forehead against Laurent’s, and softly reached for the pants he so aggressively pushed down, to get them back up.

Laurent stopped him. He didn’t want to spend the rest of the day feeling wet with remnants of lube. He turned slightly, reaching for the pile of paper towels, and grabbed a couple, wiping off the excess between his asscheeks, then used the bundle to unroll the condom from Damen’s soft cock, give him a perfunctory wipe before throwing the whole in the bin near them.

Only then he allowed Damen to close his pants, zip included.

Laurent reached, as for a last kiss, then pulled his head back and left the bathroom without a word, kicking away the doorstop and leaving Damen to close his own pants.

When he came home from work that night, Laurent was starving. Of course, since he spent his usual eating time being fucked senseless, eating was no longer a possibility and he had to go the entire afternoon without anything. But thanksfully, he had to avoid Damen a lot less, for he didn’t insist much after lunchtime.

Small mercies.

But coming home to a cold appartment, an empty fridge and an even emptier pantry, didn’t calm Laurent’s nerves and it’s with a lot of frustration and annoyance that he took back his keys and left his appartment again to go grocery shopping.

Truth was, he wasn’t sure he was hungry of only food…

He scrolled the aisles, looking for something to inspire him. But inspiration wasn’t found in between cereal boxes more than in fried eggs, and he forced himself to pick mundane, boring food to fill in his kitchen. Brussel sprouts were far from exciting, he thought while holding the can to read the contents, frowning.

He sighed and threw the can in his basket. Better not think about it too much.

He allowed himself to pick some plums to make a pie, but it was the limit of luxury he allowed himself. He couldn’t risk wasting money just for everyday things he would forget anyway.

When he came back to his appartment, his arms tiring from the heavy bags of groceries and drenched from a sadistic rain, he put away the fresh produces in the fridges but didn’t finish, eager as he was to ruch under a hot shower.

But when he got out, finally warm, in his still frigid bathroom and bedroom, he decided that to hell the money saving, he’d turn the heating on.

It took a few hours after that for the air leaving its icy state, become bearable.

Laurent was shaking under his blankets, his feet frozen even in the socks, waiting for sleep which wouldn’t come as long as he was this cold.

He was already missing Damen’s warmth…

Thursday had been nerve-wrecking. Laurent was on edge and he had already scared two of his colleagues away with biting words.

It was late, and already more than half the people had left the office, but Laurent wanted to stay and close this file once for all.

He had sent it already four times, Kastor rejecting it everytime and asking him to redo it, and this time would be the good one because there was no way he was starting all over again. He was on edge and fidgeting, high on caffeine and sugar to hold under the pressure.

He had stayed two hours and a half after the official closing hour so far. Two hours and a half absolutely not paid, for a job but mostly a boss he hated, just because Kastor was feeling moody and couldn’t decide on what he wanted.

Laurent was close to put in movement his ever present murder fantasies.

He wrote the last lines of his report, and reread the whole thing one last time to search for any mistake. He didn’t want to leave a single excuse for the bastard to reject his work once again.

He let out a relieved sigh when he heard the printer start, glad he didn’t have to deal with a dysfunctionment so late and went to pick up the pile of paper he worked so hard on. All pretty and perfect as only freshly printed paper could be. He attached it with a clip and placed it on Kastor’s desk, empty of course. He was always the first to leave the workplace. Watching the chair as if he could pierce holes in it with his eyes, he solemnly swore to burn the man alive if he dared refuse his report ever again, then went back to his own desk to clean the candy wrappers and coffee cups, grab his stuff and leave, finally.

Damen was there, of course. Everyone else had left, only a few lights remained on, and apparently Damen had been waiting for him, for his own work had been finished long ago.

“Awww,” said Laurent in a faked little girl voice. “You waited for me so you could walk me home, and maybe hold my hand ! So cute !”

Damen smiled.

“You are not supposed to finish this late, you know ? It’s not in your contract, and you’re not paid after 5,” Damen said, calmly.

“No shit Sherlock,” Laurent grumbled.

“Nobody asked you to wait for me, I’m a big boy,” he said between his teeth.

Damen grinned. “My, my ! You seem in a lovely mood tonight !”

Laurent was already leaving, his desk empty and his back to Damen, so he only raised his hand to flip him off. Damen laughed.

When he pushed the door leading to the exterior, he waited for Damen to catch up on him. Without turning to look at him, he asked.

“What do you want Damen ?”

Damen stopped by his side, waiting for Laurent to look at him before giving him a wolfish smile. “Want to come at my place tonight ?”

Laurent raised an eyebrow. “You never stop fucking, do you ?”

Damen laughed again, loud and bright. “Well you seemed to doubt my stamina so I make sure you never doubt it again.”

Laurent turned down his mouth, dubious.

And why not, after all ? Could help take the edge off and release a bit of the pressure of the day.

“Fine,” he said. “But I take my car too, I don’t want to be stuck at your place there forever and ending up late tomorrow morning.”

Damen smiled and turned his keys around his index.

“I don’t draw you a map, right ? You know the way.”

Laurent nodded, and watched him run to his car.

He took a few minutes to just breath in and out, enjoying the fresh, well freezing, air after hours stuck inside with sweaty people.

It was not like he had big plans for that evening anyway. Most of the time if he didn’t have laundry or cleaning to do, he ended up either working some more, or in front of the TV. Sex was more fun.

He was hungry tho, so he would ask Damen for food before fucking. Something he wouldn’t have to pay for once. After all, it was Damen who asked.

When he started shaking, he resigned himself to go slowly to his car, if only to warm himself up by walking.

Finding Damen’s building again was easier than he thought, but finding the correct floor was more of a challenge.

He scrolled on the names on the side of the building.

Damianos, here he was. Damianos… Akielos ? As in Kastor Akielos ?

Laurent shrugged it off, it was probably a coincidence. And it didn’t matter much anyway, he was just here to fuck the designated Damianos, not to unravel his genealogy.

He pushed the calling button, waiting to hear the muffled voice. “Yes ?”

“Who the fuck do you think it is ?” said Laurent. “Open the door.”

He heard a chuckle, and the sharp buzzing indicating the door was unlocked.

Laurent’s annoyance hadn’t left him, and he was again on edges when he waited for Damen to open his door.

“I’m hungry,” he said as soon as he saw Damen’s goofy smile.

Damen laughed softly. “Yeah me too. I’ll cook something up,” he said, gesturing for Laurent to enter.

Laurent nodded, and came in without a word, closing the door behind himself.

“Grilled cheese is ok ?” Damen said from the miniature kitchen. Laurent hummed.

Well at least his home was better than Damen’s. So his wasn’t that bad. A bit impersonnal and underdecorated, but he had a real kitchen, and closed rooms and living room. Damen’s place was just one big room with a bed, a TV, a cooking corner and, thank the gods, a separate bathroom. And not that big. It did feel lived in, though, with clothes everywhere and stuff out of place. And a bit of decoration. It just felt small and kinda shitty. It shouldn’t make him feel better but it did.

Damen came back with plates with several grilled cheese sandwiches in them, and place them on… what seemed like a coffee table of some sort, near the TV, and sat on the floor next to it.

Well. At least it was warm.

Laurent liked that coat and really didn’t want to sit on a dirty floor with it. He went back to the door and hanged it on a overcrowded hook there, then went back to eat with Damen.

He took the greasy sandwich in hand and bite into it enthusiastically. It was good and rich and a blessing for his cold, starving body. They ate in silence for a moment, until Damen started to talk, almost ruining the moment.

“It’s the report for Kastor that kept you so late ?”

Laurent took his time to tear appart the next sandwich, enjoying the way the melted cheese stretched between the two halves, stringy and shiny. He considered not answering, but finally sighed.

“Yes… he rejected it four times already, giving new excuses and requests everytime. I’m not redoing it again. Never. I won’t touch that file again until my death, I swear !”

He finally looked up to Damen’s face. He was smiling, amused.

“Sorry about that,” he said, his smile softening.

“You could just tell him to go fuck himself,” Damen continued.

Laurent felt himself harden. “I have a rent to pay, so no I can’t,” he said harshly.

He finished his second sandwich quickly, leaving the third on the plate.

“Are we talking or are we fucking ?” he asked with all the annoyance he could gather. “I didn’t came for you to give me life advices.”

Damen laughed loudly. “My bad. Fucking it is.”

He got up, then, and went to his bedside drawers, rumaging into it.

Laurent used the time to undo the buttons on his sleeves, and a few on his cleavage. He had always hated the awkward moments of stopping to deal with clothes that always managed to sour the mood.

He raised his head as Damen came back, a hand hidden behind his back.

Laurent wasn’t a big fan of surprise, a knot started to appear in his throat.

“I wanted to try something…” Damen started.

He pulled out a pair of handcuffs. Yes, the kind with pink fake furr.

Laurent gave him a stern look. “Bondage ?” he said coldly. “Really ?”

Damen laughed lightly. “Come on ! This is gonna be fun !”

He sat back at the table, facing Laurent.

“Don’t you trust me ?” Damen asked.

Laurent gave him the best bitch face he had in reserve.

Damen chuckled, his gaze going to the side awkwardly.

“Ok ok. But do you trust me in bed ?”

Laurent didn’t answer right away. He pondered the question.

Even when Damen had grabbed him and, in a way, forced himself on Laurent, he didn’t feel fear or panic. He was excited, he was aroused for sure, but not… afraid. Yes. He had trusted Damen at that time, and on the night they spent before, even as they were both drunk.

Pinching his lips, Laurent ended up nodding anyway, without a word.

Damen smiled brightly, child-like somehow.

“Nice…” he said.

He shrugged the look out of his face. “We need a safeword ! An idea ?”

Laurent thought about it. He never had a use for it before, so he didn’t have one.

He remembered the color in his uncle’s room.

“Red,” he answered. “Red is good.”

Damen nodded, looking serious enough for Laurent to know it had been settled, that he would stop the second he’d hear the word.

Laurent blinked his eyes when he saw the pill in Damen’s hand, in offering.

“Are you seriously asking me to drug myself ?” he asked.

Damen grinned. “What ? Never took the little blue pill ?”

At Laurent embarrassed but curious nod, he added “It won’t make you high or anything, only excite you enough to come several times.”

Laurent smiled against himself. “I thought we went through that already. My stamina is just fine.”

Damen laughed. “Oh I know it is !” he said. “But we’re going to need more than ‘just fine’ if we follow my plans.”

Laurent hesitated. He didn’t know Damen that well. In a lot of ways, he was still a stranger. Taking willingly something that could very well be a rape drug was stupid, extremely so.

But if it was really Damen’s intentions, truth was he didn’t need the pill anyway, his force was enough.

And Laurent really needed to ease the tension tonight…

Slowly, he took the pill and looked at it.

After a few more seconds of debating, he placed it under his tongue, and grabbed the bottle Damen was offering, to swallow it down.

Now to wait for it to work, hoping he wouldn’t wake up the next day ravaged, or without a kidney. Or both.

Damen was grinning like a child again.

He raised his hand to show the cuffs dangling around his finger, and Laurent couldn’t help but laugh, prompting Damen to laugh too.

Damen got up on his feet, then offered his hands for Laurent to take, raising him up easily. They did a bit of maneuvring to go around the table, and Damen brought Laurent softly closer, bringing their mouths together in a deep, slow kiss.

Damen’s arms wrapped around Laurent’s waist, grounding him, and their mouths opened, Damen’s tongue passing the barrier of Laurent’s lips.

Damen kissed him for a long moment, probably waiting for Laurent to relax.

Which he did, eventually. The warmth and Damen’s arms and the food in his stomach made for a very comfortable mix and he felt himself melt in Damen’s embrace.

Damen broke the kiss, resting his forehead softly against Laurent’s.

He unwound his arms from Laurent’s waist and took his hand instead, and lead him to the bed.

Tension threatened to bloom in Laurent again, but Damen’s movement were slow and tender so Laurent managed to keep it under control. He closed his eyes, focusing on Damen’s hands on him, undoing the rest of his shirt’s buttons, and pushing it off his shoulders. Their breaths were tangling together, and Laurent’s closed eyes enhanced every tactile experience. Damen pushed him softly, making him sit on the bed.

His hands left Laurent’s body and he heard a rustle of fabric. Damen was stripping bare himself.

He went back to Laurent, kissing him deeply and pushing him in the bedding until Laurent was laying down under him.

Damen’s fingers carressed Laurent’s chest and abdomen, going down to undo his pants.

Laurent’s heart was starting to beat faster and faster, indeniably turned on.

Damen tugged down on his pants, bringing them down and Laurent felt his cock bobbing on his abdomen, fully hard already.

Damen made quick work of his shoes and socks, and finally stripped the pants away, leaving Laurent bare, shivering and oh so aroused.

Damen went slowly up, leaving soft kisses randomly on Laurent’s skin as he went.

“Open your eyes,” he whispered, and Laurent did.

Damen’s pupils were blown wide, his gaze adoring.

“Turn over, on your knees,” he ordered Laurent.

Laurent couldn’t help but comply. Damen guided him to the end of the bed and its forged iron bars headboard. Laurent’s breath left him. Damen smoothed his hand on Laurent’s lower back. “Shhh,” he whispered. “It’s okay.”

Impossibly, it helped and Laurent relaxed enough to get back in the mood.

Damen took the handcuffs and looked at him in the eyes, seeking for consent once again.

Laurent nodded.

A metal circle closed on his wrist, and soon the little chain was passed behing the iron bars and the other cuff clasped on Laurent’s wrist, effectively immobilizing him.

Laurent tugged on the restraints, feeling them resisting quite well to his efforts.

Damen’s lips were on the side of his neck. Biting softly on the lobe of Laurent’s ear, he whispered. “I want to see how many times I can make you come without touching your cock.”

Laurent felt himself flushing from a flare of arousal.

Shifting to position himself behind Laurent on his knees, he started to kiss his way down his back, starting from his nape and making Laurent pant, his eyes closed once again.

Damen’s hand were on his hips, maintaining him still and up against his chest.

Laurent was becoming increasingly hot.

Damen was lavishing his back of attention and open-mouthed kisses, and Laurent’s knees felt weaker. He started to moan softly, quietly.

As Damen’s kisses neared his ass, Laurent’s moans became louder.

Until they reached his hole, and he cried out.

This. Felt. So. Good.

Laurent couldn’t believe he let himself live so far not knowing this pleasure.

Damen’s tongue darted out, entering his hole and darting away. Circling and licking its way inside him, and Laurent was lost to it.

He was moaning continuously by then.

Damen gripped his ass cheeks, spreading them further for better access. His warm hands gently stroking, he licked further inside, and Laurent lost it.

“Damen,” he moaned quietly.

He couldn’t think about anything. Nothing else existed than Damen’s mouth on him, and his body’s reactions to it.

After what felt like forever, Damen’s hand inched closer in, and Laurent gasped when he felt a finger enter him next to the tongue.

Damen curled his finger harshly, hitting the right spot inside Laurent, and he let out a cry, coming hard.

Damen pulled out slowly, his hands stroking gentle circles on Laurent’s ass.

He was shaking, his cock twitching and spent underneath him.

His come staining the bed sheets…

Laurent felt good. Alive. The tension leaving him in waves.

Yes. That was what he came here for.

He sighed, content, and watched Damen smiled smuggly next to him.

“Well that was a good start,” Damen said. “But I’m sure you can do better.”

“Do you intend to fuck me or not ?” asked Laurent, just to prickle him.

Damen smiled widely. “Oh yeah I intend to,” he answered joyously.

Shifting to reach the drawers at the side of the bed, Damen quickly grabbed a bottle of lube and condoms, not bothering to detach them and pick just one.

Laurent rolled his eyes.

Soon, Damen was fingering him, with copious amounts of lube. Two, three, and then four fingers, all in a row, and Laurent was thankful for the rimming, preparing him for it.

Damen was rock hard when he pushed in him in one strong motion. Laurent moaned loudly.

Not giving him time to adjust to the size of his cock, Damen started pounding, hard and fast, shaking all of Laurent’s body with every thrust.

Laurent whimpered, his eyes closing, and he was lost in the moment, in the sensations, once again.

His cock was hardening again, reacting to the stimulation, and maybe Damen’s pill did help for that.

It wasn’t long before he was coming again, under the assaults of Damen’s cock.

He cried out from the overstimulation, Damen not stopping for a second and fucking him as he was riding out his orgasm, and continuing even after that.

The thrusting was always harder, always faster, and Laurent moaned loudly when Damen started to lose his rythym, thrusting frantically into him until he stilled, deep inside, and came.

Laurent’s body finally relaxed once again, grateful for the stop in fucking.

Damen was panting behind him, and had yet to pull out.

Laurent idly wondered if Damen was finished with him yet, or if he waited to start to get hard again, not leaving Laurent’s insides.

He couldn’t deny he liked the idea.

But, eventually, Damen pulled out, his soft cock leaving Laurent empty yearning.

Damen shifted on the bad next to him, his breath going back to normal. Or to bed-normal.

“You know,” he said slowly. “I was thinking of you yesterday. Of this. And I bought you something. ”

Laurent turned to him, quizzically.

“What do you mean you bought…” he started. And stopped when he saw what was in Damen’s hands.

“Oh you must be kidding me !” Laurent shouted, trying and failing to break the handcuffs open.

Damen was holding the longest dildo Laurent ever saw.

Not that he had seen so much, but that was besides the point.

“Shhhh” whispered Damen with a smile. “It’s gonna be okay.”

Laurent pulled hard on the handcuffs. For cheap fur covered things, they were holding pretty well. Fuck.

“Damen, I swear, take that thing away from me or…”

He choked then, feeling the first press of the thick toy inside him.

His hole was starting to get abused and oversensitive, and the stretch of the hard plastic hurt a bit.

But oh did that felt good too. The sensation of fullness, of finally giving his body what it was craving.

He moaned, deeply, and closed his eyes, focusing on the sensation.

The first thrity centimeters passed smoothly, but then Damen pulled the toy a bit out, before pushing it back for more and more.

Laurent didn’t know if he had the full length of the dildo in him, then, but he definitely felt full. He was able to feel the hardness of it through all his body, in his belly and in places he wasn’t used to feel hard things.

He moaned again, long and deep, his body and back realigning to allow the dildo to go further inside.

So Damen pulled again, only a few centimeters, and pushed more.

Laurent cried out then. It was so long and there was so much length in him, he felt it distending the skin of his stomach.

He lowered his head between his elbows, watching with fascination the moving bump above his bellybutton, and couldn’t tear his eyes away.

Moans were escaping his throat continuously, and Damen passed his hand on Laurent skin, where it was stretched around the dildo, appreciatingly. Laurent saw a wicked smile on his face as he started to pump into him harder and faster.

Damen made even more length entering his hole, and Laurent felt his knees shake, the effort of staying still and back-straighted under the assaults weakening his thigh muscles.

He closed his eyes again, posing his forehead on the bars his hands were gripping desperately. It was so much, and yet his body proved to be able to take it.

His hole tried to clench around the plastic, trying to expulse it, but it was too long and Damen’s hold was too firm.

There was nothing he could do except… take it.

Damen was forcing the toy in hard, and Laurent let out little cries every time it pushed, hard and so so deep inside him.

His rim was remindind him of all the length it let in, and it felt even more big because of it. Laurent bit on his lips, keeping his whimpering inside his mouth.

It just felt so good.

As a new climax started to approach, Laurent fucked himself back on the dildo, forcing more in, until Damen stopped him with a gentle hand on his cheek.

“Shhhh,” he said again. “You want more ?”

Laurent wanted to say no. He wanted to scream at Damen to remove the assaulting device from inside him.

But all he could do was nodding, almost begging.

“I know you can take more,” said Damen playfully.

And oh, apparently Laurent could.

Damen pushed another ten centimeters in, and it was flaring at the base.

Laurent shivered when he realized he was taking the dildo up to the base, remembering the size it had in Damen’s hands.

His cries and moans intensified, and which every one of them Damen accelerated, fucking Laurent hard and fast.

He was pulling more every time, so that Laurent had to feel half the length on every movement, and pushing all the way in, the flared base hitting his entrance every time.

As he neared the end, Laurent looked down again at the bumping on his stomach, considerably bigger now, stretching his skin more and more.

As one of the bigger wrinkles hit his prostate one last time, he came again, hard, staining the bedding and clenching around the hard plastic.

He choked, the toy all the way in and stilling in Damen’s strong hands.

Then, when he had came down from his orgasm, Damen started to pull out the toy, slowly.

When one third of it was out, Damen pushed it back in, just a little, and Laurent moaned, a tired thing.

Damen did it again a few times, as he pulled the gigantic toy out of Laurent’s ass.

When the head of it was out, his rim painful and oversensitive stretching around it, Laurent’s body collapsed, slumping forward on his knees and hanging from his cuffed wrists.

He was struggling to catch back his breath.

Damen had set aside the toy, and was stroking his back softly.

“You ok ?” he whispered.

Laurent only whined, too exhausted to raise his head. He heard Damen chuckle behind him.

“I’ll take that as a yes,” he said.

Passing over Laurent, one of his hand still stroking Laurent’s ass, he reached the bedside drawer again, and Laurent’s breath caught in his throat.

No.

That was the only thought left in him.

No.

It would be too much. His body had already taken too much stimulation.

No. He couldn’t take something else.

Still, he didn’t say a word. He didn’t make a sound, even as Damen started to push in the head of a ribbed didlo in his ass.

When it was all in, though, he cried out, and started to moan.

His body was still hungry. The pill still acting on his arousal, refusing a break or a stop to the pleasure and the climaxes.

He heard a button click, and suddenly the toy inside him started vibrating.

It spurted him back on his knees, his head jerking back.

He moaned again, and Damen chuckled behind him.

He didn’t fight at all. He was too exhausted and spent for it.

He just let himself be fucked, thoroughly, the buzzing inside him doing funny things to his brain.

The vibrations intensified, and he moaned loudly.

Damen’s other hand was still stroking his cheek, a calming soothing gesture.

Damen made him come twice from this one. And by that time, Laurent was openly begging. For what ? He wasn’t sure.

When the ribbed toy left him finally, he was boneless and completely gone.

He barely felt Damen moving behind him, all his mind focused on the relief of having his rim left to its own devices.

After a few minutes, though, Damen’s fingers were back at his entrance.

“If you need to stretch me more for whatever you intend to put up my ass,” he grumbled, weakly, “I can assure you it’s too big to fit.”

Damen laughed at that.

“Oh ? You think ?”

Laurent yawned, and nodded. “I’m sure.”

That didn’t make Damen stop, but Laurent’s mind was too slow to use his silver tongue. For anything, really.

“Please,” he begged, tiredly.

Damen hummed, ignoring his plea.

He had three fingers in already, but they weren’t stretching him more than the toys already did, so he didn’t mind that much. He hoped Damen would be happy with his little mission soon so he could sleep.

But when he pushed a fourth finger in, Laurent realized that Damen was far from finished with him.

The large root of those fingers passed his rim, and the stretch almost burnt. It would have if he hadn’t that much lube in him. Pulling it out slowly, Damen continued pumping in with the four fingers, finishing the stretch completely.

The next time his palm started to get inside, he didn’t pull off immadiately, instead pushing slowly inside, until it was his thumb’s turn.

Laurent cried out. It was too much. That wouldn’t fit.

To avoid the pain of the stretch, he forced his muscles to relax around Damen’s hand, and Damen took that as a cue to push further, all his fingers in this time.

Laurent was whimpering, begging.

It was too much.

Damen pulled out a little, then pushed back in, fucking him slowly on his hand.

When the largest part of his palm passed Laurent’s rim, Laurent screamed, feeling like he was going to be ripped in half from the stretch.

Then Damen was in to the wrist, and Laurent couldn’t wrap his mind aroung it.

Still gently moving inside him, Damen’s hand started to fold in itself, slowly becoming a fist, and Laurent bucked and tried to escape Damen’s grip.

Damen twisted and pushed his fist deeper, fucking Laurent hard and big.

Laurent was moaning, now, the pain having morphed into pure pleasure from the fucking, his body knowing nothing else that the push and pull of Damen’s fist inside him.

Damen was pushing deeper, even, his wrist passing Laurent’s rim and still he continued, fucking Laurent on his forearm.

Laurent cried out. The fist twisting inside him pressed on his prostate almost continuously, and his body wanted to reach his climax again, despite having came several times for the last couple hours.

“Damen, please” he begged again. He would be incapable of saying what he was begging for, but he knew that it could only come from the man behind him.

He came, yet again, his cock only letting out a pathetic drizzle of fluid where thick come were earlier. His toes curled, so hard they became painful.

Laurent let out a deep cry of pleasure, for the last time.

He knew he wouldn’t be able to come again. This time, it was for sure.

Damen probably knew that too, for he unfolded his hand and slowly pulled it out.

Just as Laurent thought it was over, Damen unrolled another condom on his cock, and pressed it at Laurent’s entrance.

It was, even if it was thick and big, not as big as his fist and forearm, so it wasn’t painful.

As Damen started to fuck him, hard and fast, seeking his own release, Laurent let himself relax. His body wouldn’t reach any more climax, the experience and sensations only existed in the moment, not to reach a goal anymore. His hole was abused and too stretched and painful, but Damen fucking in it wasn’t bad.

After all that hard plastic, it felt good to feel back some flesh, the blood bursting through it.

Laurent moaned encouragedly, enjoying the moment, the connection.

It spurted Damen faster, and soon enough he stilled, up to the hilt in Laurent, and came in him, emptying himself in the condom.

Laurent smiled. Yes. Like this.

Damen collapsed on him, pressing Laurent’s boneless body further in the mattress, and Laurent liked the heavy, comforting weight of him on his back.

Together, they stayed still, catching their breaths slowly.

“This was so good…” Damen breathed out after a moment.

That made Laurent laugh, an exhausted, a bit hysterical thing.

Yeah. It was.

After that he was drifting into sleep, his body completely devoid of any energy left.

He barely registered Damen unlocking the cuffs, with soothing whispers, and turn him on his back. Then he must have left the bed for when he came back, it was with warm and soft damp towel, cleaning Laurent’s body and wiping slightly the sheets beneath him so he wouldn’t have to lay in his own come.

Then he was under the sheets, wrapped securely in Damen’s arms and chest, and asleep instantly.

Laurent woke up with his alarm, feeling exhausted. But, somehow, in a good way.

The sex had left him sated and his tensions from the day before had left him.

He forced his eyes to open and try to stretch his body.

This was going to be a long day.

But he didn’t regret it.

He looked at his side, and the human wreck that was Damen, sprawled on his back.

He nudged him lightly.

“Wake up,” whispered Laurent.

Damen didn’t move. Laurent shook him harder.

“Wake up Damen !” he said louder.

He didn’t get anything pass a groan. After that, Damen’s lateness at work was no longer his responsibility, Laurent decided. He did what he could, he wasn’t a babysitter.

He got out of bed and headed to the shower.

The hot water was a relief on his skin. Not so much because he was cold. After all, he slept next to the human furnace, but for the soreness. The heat managed to unknot his muscles in a way stretching couldn’t, and Laurent sighed under the feeling.

He emptied the bottle of shampoo, and almost finished the soap.

He wanted to care, but again, not his responsibility. Not much more than the come flaking bed sheets he had left behind.

If Damen wanted to live in a dumpster, it was his choice.

Drying himself quickly, he came back in a bedroom and eyeing Damen still deep asleep, opened drawers upon drawers until he found a boxer to borrow. Or to steal for what it was worth. It’s not like Damen would notice anyway.

It was a bit large on him, but it was clean and Laurent really needed to not feel disgusting all day long. And with the pants to hold it up it would pass.

Oh, and socks. He opened another couple of drawers to find them.

After dressing up, he headed to the kitchen side to try and find something to make some sort of breakfast, or at least something warm to drink.

But eyeing the fifty years old leftover crackers and cheap coffee, Laurent resoluted to give up and grab something at work instead.

He’ll have to go out for lunch, too.

He grabbed his work bag, stuffed his dirty underwear at the bottom, put on his coat and scarf, and went back to the bed.

“Damen,” he chanted softly, laughing already at the idea of Damen waking up late and rushing through everything in an adrenaline spurt.

He placed a peck on his lips, laughed again at Damen’s moan, and left the studio.

All day long, he had to fight the paranoia. He felt like everyone knew he got wrecked the night before, that everyone was watching him and smelling his not-so-clean clothes.

The rationnal part of his mind kept repeating him that it was discreet, and that nobody cared enough to notice that.

Or notice the way he was shifting on his chair, blushing at every movement as he struggled to find a position that didn’t awoke the soreness in his ass.

He managed to keep his face and back straight but kept thinking of all the events of the night before.

When Damen arrived at ten o’clock, disheveled and wrecked, Laurent couldn’t help but smile smuggly. He heard the lewd jokes almost everyone gave him about how ‘the poor girl’ he evidently fucked the night before had to be a hell of a ride, and even as Laurent’s smile was less sincere after that, he could appreciate the sardonic laugh of Damen and his refusal to follow their comments by excuses or explanations.

He didn’t lie, but he didn’t confirm anything.

That was… pretty classy of him and Laurent couldn’t help but be grateful of this.

Only Nikandros was frowning, and Laurent suspected that he knew exactly with whom Damen actually spent the night.

Laurent also suspected that Nikandros didn’t approve of Laurent and Damen fucking.

Well then he shouldn’t have set them up only a week before while they were both too drunk to be rationnal.

He brought it to himself.

And Laurent wasn’t about to give up the amazing fuck Damen was just because Nikandros didn’t like it. A part of him even wanted to have him even more just to annoy Nik. They never really liked each other anyway.

He was nursing his third coffee of the morning when Vannes came to give him his next big project, as Kastor wasn’t there on fridays, and couldn’t approve of the previous one.

Laurent could only wish it would go more smoothly this time…

The lack of pressure from his boss’ watchefullness and the excuse of not having brought any lunch loosened him a bit, and he allowed himself to take his full lunch time to go out and eat, without working some more in the meantime.

He was dozing slightly, munching on the last of his fries, when he started to think about Damen again.

Maybe he could just leave things go more naturally and continue this fuck buddies situation. After all, what was wrong with a few good fucks once in a while ?

He sneered at the idea of making a habit of waking up in Damen’s place, tho.

Appart from the bigger bed (and yes the heating but his place would warm up eventually when the heating would start functionning correctly), his appartment was more comfortable, more familiar and just overall better.

When he came back at the office, people DID watched him. Like. Half the staff.

Not expecting a break in his routine, probably. Laurent refused to let himself feel guilty.

After all working as much as he did wasn’t in his contract, so he could take his break time completely once in a while.

Thinking about it, fucking with someone more than once wasn’t in his habits either.

Yet he did.

Maybe he was indeed changing…

Around the middle of the afternoon, his resolution sturdy in the stance of his shoulders, he went to Damen’s desk, careful that nobody noticed it as unusual, and dropped a file on his overcrowded desk, and slipped a note in Damen’s hand, enjoying the look of surprise on Damen’s face.

‘Come after work’, followed by his address.

Either he was late, or Laurent had made a huge mistake and Damen didn’t want to come.

Why didn’t he just… asked him straight out ? Like a normal person making it normal and easy and not awkward.

I had been hours since he left the office.

True, Damen probably had to stay later since he didn’t get up that morning, but still. No one can be THAT late without noticing.

Yeah, Laurent didn’t give him his number. True. But still.

The only explanation at that point, was that Damen wasn’t late because he wasn’t coming and Laurent felt stupid.

He couldn’t do anything while waiting. Of course if he had knew, three hours earlier, that Damen wouldn’t be there in the meantime, he would have used that time to do something. Anything, really. Maybe even working, who knew ?

Ok. Maybe not working.

But he was nervously wandering around his flat, overthinking and torturing his poor hands by twisting them in every way.

After another half hour, sadness and despair overwhelmed him and he settled in front of the tv, frozen chicken nuggets heating in the stove. He felt pathetic and that movie was shitty. He was even on the verge of tears, and only anger to himself prevent them from falling.

When the doorbell rang, his heart threaten to burst out of his chest, and he rushed to the door.

Yeah, a part of him, swallowed in hope, just wanted to see if it was Damen, but some of him was still on the ‘if it IS him I’ll kill him for putting me through this’.

But all that died down when he saw Damen, looking like a wet kicked puppy, like litterally drenched from the fall rain outside, stuttering “I’m sorry… I… I got lost. And I didn’t have your number and I didn’t know where and I rang at like five other doors and people looked me weirdly…”

Laurent didn’t let him finish, pulling him inside by the fabric on his chest, clenched in his closed fist, and forcefully brought their mouths together.

It talk in positive of Damen of how quick he was to respond to the kiss, setting it on fire and deepening it, bringing them closer together in an hard embrace.

Laurent’s clothes were starting to soak up the water from Damen’s body, but he didn’t manage to care that much about it, with Damen’s hands wandering all over his body, and their hot breaths tangling, and Damen’s tongue sliding down his.

Quickly he removed Damen’s coat from his shoulders, not breaking the kiss, not opening his eyes. Damen was moaning in his mouth, Laurent could feel the vibrations from it through all his body, and it was seriously turning him on.

He was blindly walking back, bringing them to his bedroom, and Damen was following without an hesitation, his hands gripping Laurent’s body tightly.

When Laurent reached behind himself and pushed on the doorknob, Damen growled against him, helplessly turned on and at Laurent’s mercy.

Laurent loved that. The feeling of power, of everything he could make this giant pile of muscle do.

Getting away from the possessive embrace, Laurent made quick work of his shirt’s buttons and pulled it off right after, offering a wide expanse of skin to Damen’s wandering hands. The contact of skin against skin heated Laurent all the way in, and he felt his cock starting to stir.

Damen sucked on his tongue and Laurent moaned loudly, biting Damen’s lower lip as retaliation. Damen pushed him back until his knees met the edge of the bed and they fell together in a tangle of limbs.

Damen raised himself on his knees to pull his sweater off, and unbutton his pants.

Laurent’s eyes were blown wide at the sight of the miles of chocolate skin and litteral chocolate tablets just for him. He reached to touch it, running his fingers up to Damen’s muscled chest, grazing at the curly hair there. Damen grinned above him, before leaning back down and taking his mouth again.

It was messy and hot and probably too much tongue, their mouths open and hungry, but Laurent still wanted more. He started to grind his crotch against Damen, drenching his thirst with the little sensation he could get from it.

It seemed to drive Damen crazy, his pupils blown wide, and soon his hand was at Laurent’s pants, fumbling at the button. Laurent helped push it down enough to give access to his cock.

“Are those mine ?” asked Damen, incredulous, when he saw Laurent’s underwear.

Or, Damen’s, that Laurent was currently wearing.

Laurent blushed, not knowing if that was really something he should answer.

Damen’s eyes were even wilder, apparently very pleased by the idea of Laurent in his underwear.

Possessive. Laurent shouldn’t probably enjoy it that much, but he did.

Damen’s hand crawled under the waistband to take Laurent’s cock and squeeze it.

Laurent moaned, his head thrown back. He was probably flushed all over, offering a blotched sight, a moaning mess. Damen leaned down to kiss his chest, his collarbone, and settled at his neck where he apply himself to the heavy duty of marking Laurent of a hickey that he would struggle to hide. All of Laurent’s blood rushed straight to his cock, and he felt himself get close. He slid his hands up from Damen’s arms and tangled his fingers in Damen curls, tugging and smoothing. Damen sucked on his skin wickedly. At the sharpness of teeth, Laurent’s fingers tighten in Damen’s hair, tugging harder and drawing a groan from Damen.

His hand started to pump slowly up and down Laurent’s length, and Laurent was lost to it. He moaned again and Damen left his neck to look him straight in the eyes. He was looking wild again, hungry.

“Do you have lube ?” Damen asked in a breath.

Laurent shook his head.

“No. You’re not touching my asshole tonight. I still have to recover from last night,” said Laurent, firm.

Damen grinned smuggly at the memory.

“Alright,” he said before diving back in Laurent’s neck.

Laurent tangled his hands further in Damen’s curls, pushing Damen on his skin. Damen’s hand left his cock, and he whined at the loss. Damen’s other hand was supporting him and he couldn’t really hope to have that one in his pants or else he’d be crushed. But his brain still considered it betrayal.

Damen was pulling his own cock out, and reached up to take one of Laurent’s hands off his hair, guiding it between his legs instead.

The contact made Damen shudder, and Laurent took him in hand firmly, stroking him a few times.

Damen would have done anything Laurent would ask, right then. Laurent was sure that he could even convince him to be the one fucked this time, but it was not what he wanted. He wanted Damen on top of him, weighting him down, and controlling the pace.

Licking Laurent’s neck, Damen lowered his crotch enough to bring their cocks together, and took them both firmly in his fist.

Laurent gasped. The feeling of both their bloodflushed cocks against each other was enough to bring him on edge.

Damen groaned on top of him, and Laurent throw his head further back, offering more of his skin to Damen’s lips.

Damen began stroking them both, slowly, and Laurent’s attention fell fully on that, on Damen’s skin all around him. Losing control of it, Damen started to thrust his cock in, still stroking them at a quickening pace. The twin rythym were almost too much to bear and Laurent was panting.

Damen’s hand accelerated, his cock thrusting frantically in, and Laurent came, a shout in his throat.

Damen groaned above him, pumping him through his orgasm. When he felt that Laurent was starting to be overstimulated, he realeased his softening cock and continued pumping his own alone. Laurent’s hand joined his, their combined fist squeezing Damen’s cock hard, and after a few seconds Damen came hard between their fingers, following Laurent in the orgasmic haze.

Damen collapsed on his side, only able to control not to fall directly on top of Laurent.

It took them too long to catch up on their breath.

“Who never stops fucking now, huh ?” said Damen between two loud inspirations.

Laurent smiled, almost laughed, but didn’t answer.

“Thanks for leaving my ass alone,” he said instead. Damen raised himself on his elbow.

“Why ? Did you expect me to fuck you when you told me ‘no’ ?”

Laurent didn’t answer. It was not a question he wanted to answer, ever.

“I’m hungry,” he said, raising from his position to leave the bed.

Most of their come had went on his stomach, and he went to the bathroom to wash it off, rebuttoning his pants afterward.

Damen was still lying on his side when he came back, watching him.

“And you probably should remove those wet clothes or you’re going to get sick.”

Damen laughed. “Yes mom !”

Laurent frowned.

He went to the kitchen and smelt something burning.

Oh great. The fucking nuggets. Guess he just wasted food. And energy. Amazing.

He heard Damen walking in, probably alerted by his swearing.

“What do you say about pasta ?” Laurent asked sassily. In truth, it was pasta or Damen coud go eat somewhere else.

Damen’s voice was soft “It’s perfect,” he said.

He was probably trying to avoid angering Laurent. It was stupid. Laurent wasn’t angry at him.

He turned, Damen was eyeing the charcoal the nuggets had became, and looked scared.

“I cook well usually,” Laurent said after a sigh. “If we weren’t fucking those wouldn’t have been burned.”

Damen didn’t say anything but looked more relaxed. He sat at the kitchen table, watching Laurent clean up the mess.

Great. So he wasn’t planning to help.

Laurent wanted to be angry about it but the truth was, it would have annoyed him to have Damen browsing everywhere to find what it took him less than a second to grab himself, and he liked to be the only one cooking usually. It would become messy and… and Laurent didn’t like messy in his kitchen.

“You stole my underwear,” said Damen with a dreamy but mocking smile.

“That’s because you didn’t give me enough notice to bring my own so I had to adapt. And it’s not like you would have noticed hadn’t you put your hand in it the night after” said Laurent, putting a pot of water to boil.

They didn’t say anything in a while, the silence comfortable as Laurent got the fresh pasta from the fridge and began preparing the vegetable for the sauce.

After he finally transfered the pasta in the sause and he only had a final mixing to do, Damen got up and came behind Laurent, pressing his naked chest softly against Laurent’s back, surrounding him with his strong arms.

Laurent closed his eyes for a moment, leaning in the embrace and humming.

“You’re vegetarian,” asked Damen, looking at the dish from behind Laurent’s shoulder.

Laurent thought about it.

“Almost yes,” he answered. “It’s just… easier in a way. Cheaper. And better for the planet so…”

Damen hummed non commitically behind him.

“Don’t tell me you’re ‘so carnivorous’ you need 80 percents of meat on every meal !” Laurent mocked, turning to face Damen.

Damen laughed, brightly.

“Nah,” he said. “I’m fine with whatever there is to eat. I eat a lot, tho, so if you want me to stop so I don’t finish your pantry, you’ll have to tell me.”

He turned then, starting to clear off the table. Laurent smiled despite himself.

He got the plates and cuttelry out, and served them both. Damen more than twice more than himself. He didn’t want Damen to feel hungry at his place. It was just against his whole definition of a home.

He watched him taste the first tortellini shyly, tentatively, then his eyes lighten up and he forked big mouthfulls in record time. Laurent almost forgot to eat, just watching the show. But he was hungry enough to remember to eat, and he took his time, appreciating the creamy sauce and hot filling melting in his mouth.

“This is really good !” Damen let out between mouthfulls.

Laurent smiled and blushed slightly. “I told you. I’m a good cook when I’m not fucking.”

Damen chuckled.

When they had finished their plates, Laurent’s slower pace compensating for Damen’s larger portion, Damen got up and started gathering dishes and plates and washing them in the sink.

Laurent watched him, surprised, but didn’t react soon enough to ‘politely stopping’. It seemed so natural for Damen. And that meant Laurent didn’t have to do it so…

He still got up lazily when the pile of draining plates and pans got high enough, and picked a towel to dry them. They stayed like that in peaceful silence for a while, Damen washing, Laurent drying, and it felt nice too, in a way.

After everything was clean and the water drained, Damen leaned his hip on the counter, watching Laurent dry the last pieces.

“It’s a nice place,” he said.

“Yes it is,” Laurent confirmed, smiling. He sighed dramatically. “I guess you want to see more ?”

Damen smiled too, and hummed the positive. Laurent put down the towel and left the room, knowing Damen was following.

“It’s not that big, but there are two bedrooms, a living room and a kitchen. And the bathroom is accessible easily from both bedrooms so…”

Damen was looking all around himself. “I like it. Really.”

He walked towards the different doors, enough to peer into the different rooms.

It was nice. It wasn’t super fancy or design or anything, hell it wasn’t even personnal enough to tell it was his, but it was clean and in good state and that was already great.

Damen came back from peering in the second bedroom. “Why have a guest room ? There is still the couch if a friend stays the night.”

Laurent let out a little laugh. “It’s not a guest room. It’s Nicaise’s room.”

Damen looked puzzled. “Nicaise ?”

Laurent smiled, amused. “There is a lot that you don’t know about me. Nicaise is my roomate. He’s not here often for now, but at some point he will.”

Damen passed his hand on the back of his head. “Yeah sorry it just… it didn’t feel personnal enough to be someone’s bedroom.”

Laurent sighed. “Yeah, I know. For a teenager’s bedroom it sucks. But I don’t really know what I could do to improve it without knowing what he wants.”

Damen looked even more surprised. “A teenager… ?” he started, then stopped himself.

“Forget I asked. This is none of my business.”

Laurent bite his lips. He wouldn’t have minded talking about Nicaise a bit, but Damen was right. It wasn’t really the good context for that.

After an awkward pause, Laurent broke the silence.

“You want to go back to bed ?” he said.

Damen nodded, relieved, and they stripped completely before cuddling together under the covers, enjoying the calm and comfort of the moment before falling asleep one after the other.

Laurent woke up slowly, softly. He was feeling rested, woke up naturally. It was still rare enough to be noted. He opened his eyes to see Damen looking at him, his head raised on his elbow.

“Good morning,” Damen whispered.

Laurent hummed. “Do you always watch in my sleep ? Seems a little pervert,” he said lightly.

“I do,” Damen answered, laughing. “Often. I like it when I see you sleep. You seem calmer, more peaceful.”

Laurent raised an eyebrow. His nights rarely felt peaceful on his side. “Oh ?” he said.

Damen nodded, and chuckled again.

“I like it when you’re awake too, probably even more actually.”

Laurent turned his head, closing his eyes and settling back in a sleep position.

“Of course you do,” he said. “It way less fun to fuck me when I’m asleep.”

Damen laughed, bright and clear in the quiet of the morning.

Laurent turned to look at him again.

The moment felt infinite somehow, engulfed in the sleep warmth, in the light of a winter morning’s sun, two lovers simply enjoying their little bubble.

Laurent smiled softly. He almost wanted to close his eyes again and go back to sleep, to stay in the cocoon just a little longer.

Damen reached for his face, and oh so gently, brushed a strand of Laurent’s hair off his face. The gesture was so soft and caring, Laurent felt his insides melt. More warmth started to spread in his chest. Not desire, not the hot, burning need of another’s body and of sexual pleasure.

Just… comfort and pleasure in the other’s presence. It really wasn’t something he was used to and started to wonder what he should do.

Damen looked at him with adoring eyes, his eyes roaming his face slowly, never stopping on any part.

Laurent felt himself lost in Damen’s eyes and it really was becoming mushy and sappy but he didn’t know how to stop. Damen’s thumb brushed Laurent’s cheek, and somehow their lips met.

The kiss was unhuried. Just a brush of lips against others.

And then more pressure, and then it escalated, slowly, until they were sharing each other’s breath and the tastes on their tongues.

Damen shifted to place himself more on top of Laurent’s body, bringing their chest closer together, deepening the kiss even more. Laurent wrapped his arms around Damen’s shoulders, they didn’t stop kissing.

With anyone else, it would have been a kiss as a prelude to obtain more sex, but Damen didn’t make him feel like he was supposed to take it as foreplay.

They were just kissing, and it was just nice as it was.

They stayed there, in each other’s warmth, for a while, long enough for Laurent to lose grasp of the time.

When they finally parted, Laurent felt irritation tingling on his lips, the thin skin abused and puffy. He shifted his head slightly, looking Damen right in the eyes.

“Hello,” he said softly.

Damen chuckled, his joyful mood contagious. “Hello,” he answered playfully.

Laurent passed his fingers through Damen’s soft curls. They were a bit tangled from the night, and his attention shifted to the soft knots, combing slowly with his fingers to undo them.

“Wanna eat something ?” Damen asked after a moment.

Laurent frowned. “I don’t want to get up” he said.

Damen nodded, moving off of Laurent to leave the bed.

“Alright. Breakfast in bed it is.”

Laurent watched, idly, as Damen got up and, still naked and headed to the kitchen.

Laurent didn’t hear Nicaise got in last night but the teenager had proved in the past to be incredibly stealthy sometimes. He could only hope he wasn’t there to see Damen’s naked ass. Even if him not being here meant he was somewhere worse…

Laurent closed his eyes at the random noises, some louder than they should be, coming from the kitchen. It seems like Damen was breaking havok. Laurent breathed in slowly. That was a problem for later him.

A muffled ringing broke the peace of the room, and Laurent, annoyed, got up to find the source. In Damen’s pocket, his phone was ringing from a video call.

Laurent sighed when he saw the name on the screen, and got back under the covers, considering the device thoughtfully.

Oh come on, he told himself. That would be fun.

“Dude where are you I just went to your place and…” the voice stopped when Laurent’s face appeared in the camera.

“Hello, Nik,” said Laurent with a devilish smile.

Nik’s face closed up completely, giving away icy vibes.

Laurent had been right. This was really fun.

Damen came back in the room with an assortiment of almost everything in the appartment that didn’t require cooking. Laurent sighed to himself.

Damen put the board at the foot of the bed and slid under the covers next to Laurent to watch the phone too.

“Oh Nik !” he said with a big smile. “What’s up ?”

“I just wanted to know why you weren’t at you place, but I guess I have my answer, now,” Nikandros answered stiffly.

Damen looked sheepish. “Yeah, sorry about that,” he said. “You wanted to see me for a specific reason ?”

“Yeah. Pallas’ match is today, as you apparently forgot, and I was coming to pick you up. And before you tell me you won’t come, remember that not only did you promise him, but it’s really important to him,” said Nikandros. “So yeah if you could go by your own devices that would be cool.”

Damen straightened in his seat, his mind already looking for his clothes, scattered on the floor. “Yeah right, I forgot. Consider I’m on my way !”

“Fine,” said Nikandros harshly, before cutting the call.

Laurent said nothing, watching with amusement Damen jump everywhere in the room hunting for socks and shoes. “I’m sorry I have to go, it really is important for Pallas…” he said, “I can stay if you want…”

He found his boxers from the day before. ‘He won’t put that back on, will he ?’ thought Laurent with slight disgust.

“Oh shit I should take a shower before leaving,” Damen said suddenly.

“Yeah you should,” Laurent said, laughing.

He watched Damen rush into the living room, then, probably remembering where it was, to the bathroom, laughing all the while.

Damen disappeared through the door and Laurent heard the water turn on.

He sighed softly.

He would have liked a lazy day, or at least a lazy morning in bed. Wouldn’t happen, too bad. He had stuff to do anyway. Mundane, domestic boring stuff.

And he could work, to compensate for the little he did the day before. It would help to be prepared when Kastor will start to scream and try to caught him in fault.

Eyeing Damen’s phone, he remembered Damen in front of his door ‘I didn’t have your number…’

He unlocked it quickly and went to his contact app and added his number, then called himself so he would have Damen’s number in his phone too.

He was about to lock it back when a message popped up.

Nikandros.

WTF man ?? aren’t you over this already ?? you were just supposed to fuck him not fucking marry him !! you don’t date bitches, you fuck that’s all ! you do what you want with them and move on ffs !!

Btw you’re late and Pallas is starting to be pissed at you

Ok. Ok, thought Laurent.

He wasn’t supposed to read that after all so he should just forget it and act like he never read it right ?

That was the logical, hell it was the smart decision to take.

But Laurent felt nauseous and angry and sad in a matter of seconds and he couldn’t really define why.

It’s not like he was expecting anything from Damen. No sentiment or anything.

They were just fucking.

And it’s not like he didn’t know what everyone thought of him, at work or elsewhere.

Bitch. Ice cold bitch.

They all wanted to fuck them if only to shut him up. Most hated him. It was what he wanted in a way. It was easier to deal with human relationships when people avoided you. So yeah they resented him but wanted to bent him over anyway.

He knew that, of course.

But to read it directly ?

That made a huge difference.

A difference that was totally irrational and stupid. But it was there anyway.

Maybe it was that he didn’t associate the concept with Damen. Yet.

But now he knew that it was the same as with everyone else.

Damen just wanted to get a leg over him to what ? Be the one who finally shut up the bitch ?

He didn’t boast. Yet. Probably waited to see if he could get a few more fucks before that.

He wasn’t stupid enough to think Laurent would go back to his bed if he told the whole building about it.

Laurent threw the phone away on the bed, and fold in himself.

He tightened his arms around his raised knees, closing his body from the outside.

He felt dirty and cold and abused and that was unacceptable.

Laurent didn’t allow anyone to make him feel like that. Never again, he swore to himself so long ago.

Damen got out of the shower, drying his hair in quick wipes.

“I have clean underwear in that drawer,” said Laurent in a strained voice.

Damen looked at the drawer, surprised. “Oh yeah ! Thanks ! I owe you !”

“Well I borrow one, you borrow one, there is no one owing anything. Plus it’s probably too small for being comfortable so you won’t be thanking me long.”

Laurent did his best to make his voice as normal as possible, but the playful mood had left him and he didn’t manage to fake it.

Damen didn’t notice anyway. He was still in a rush and quickly gathered everything he needed, grabbing his phone last, not even checking the screen. He was babbling and Laurent didn’t find in himself to actually listen to any of it.

Damen leaned over the bed one more time, gave him a quick peck, and apologized again.

When the door finally closed on him, Laurent let out a breath he had been holding for too long.

It was so much easier when he was just alone…

Of course he had to put laundry detergent all over his fingers. Of course it had to be when was NOT above the laundry machine, and spread all the floor. Because adding ‘wash soap off the basement floor’ to that day’s list was REALLY necessary !

Laurent had to close his eyes for a minute, trying to calm himself to face the new annoying task.

He leaned against the machines, pinching his nose.

The sooner he finished the two batches of laundry, the sooner he could go grocery shopping and actually eat something that wasn’t Damen’s shitty excuse for a breakfast in bed, and it would just be easier.

Rather than risk having to clean two times, he got the machines running before starting to wipe off the blue goo. Liquid soap was always a pain in the ass to clean but he didn’t want another problem with the building’s owners. Again.

Betting his not-so-expensive sheets on it, Laurent decided to leave while the machine was running, hoping his neighbours wouldn’t steal anything as soon as it was finished.

He had to load up the food, because cooking and baking helped, and because Nicaise was probably going to come that weekend, and teenagers ate a lot.

Like. Really.

He didn’t remember eating as much as Nicaise was eating at that point. Maybe an old fear of not knowing when would be the next meal ?

Laurent loaded up his cart even more.

Potatoes. You never have enough potatoes. What about loaded potatoes that night ? Well it wasn’t the same without the bacon, but still good.

It was raining again when he got out with the too-heavy bags, and he sighed at the entry. He watched the rain somehow sadly. He didn’t want to get wet…

And running with loaded bags at each arm was not his best option.

Fine.

Wet it would be.

He stealed himself against the futile hope of running to avoid three drops and walked to his car.

So yeah, when he came back home, he was in a pretty low and shitty mood.

Quickly drying his hair with a towel, he applied himself to get his kitchen back to a functionning state and then proceed to ruin it all by sautéing potatoes.

With a lot of butter.

Laurent was watching The Hunchback of Notre-Dame, again, when his phone ringed, a call from an unknown number. He was tempted to not answer it, weighting down the risks it was a scam or some sort of bad surprise from his uncle, when his fingers unlocked the screen by themselves.

“Laurent ? Why did it took you so long to answer ??”

Nicaise ?

Laurent sighed in relief.

“Nicaise how the fuck did you get my number ??”

He heard a bright laugh. “Oh come on ! You leave your phone without surveillance all the time. You think I’m stupid ??”

“Well,” answered Laurent after a pause. “No. But I just didn’t expect you to do that either.”

He shrugged. “Why are you calling ? In troubles ?”

Nicaise snorted. “What about trust ! It’s always nice to hear ! No. I call to say I’m coming to pick you up, I need an adult, well, no I need someone over 18 to enter the club, so get dressed princess ! We’re partying tonight !”

Laurent moaned to himself. “Mmmh… Can’t you find another way ? I’m really not feeling it tonight…”

He heard laughs from Nicaise’s side.

“Oh come on Laurent ! We’ll have fun ! It’s saturday you’re not working tomorrow and you can get drunk and relax a bit ! Pleeeeaase !”

Laurent sighed. “Nicaise…” he started softly.

“And see it as an opportunity to watch me so I don’t get in troubles ! We’ll take a cab, promise !”

“Nicaise,” Laurent interrupted him firmly. “No. I know I’d rather be there if you get trashed, but just… not tonight ok ?”

There was a long silence at the other side of the line.

“Laurent are you alright ?” asked Nicaise slowly.

Laurent rolled his eyes.

“Don’t make it a suicide checking call Nicaise. No. I’m not gonna cut my wrists. I’ll be fine. Go have fun, don’t worry about me.”

After a doubt, Laurent added : “But do avoid getting wrecked or arrested or in trouble as a general idea, please. I don’t fancy 5am police calls.”

“Seriously, Laurent,” Nicaise moaned. “Do you want me to come ?”

Laurent laughed. “No I want you to have fun and come back safely at whatever hour you want to and sleep here for once. And that means in your bedroom.”

He heard shouts behind Nicaise.

“Ok, listen I got to go but I’ll keep you in touch,” Nicaise hurried.

Laurent watched his screen go black and sighed again.

Then he rewinded his movie. He had missed a song.

“What’s up bitch !”

Laurent startled up from the couch at the shout.

“Nicaise ??” he said, his heart beating fast. “What the actual fuck ?! You won’t tell me you’re already back from a night club ?”

He smirked. “Or didn’t you find anyone to get you in, you and your friends ?”

Nicaise chuckled. “Oh please ! I enter how I want in those places, I was just using it as an excuse to untight you for once.”

Laurent’s sour mood came back in a rush, and his smirk fell from his face.

Nicaise put a plastic bag on the kitchen table with a bit ‘stomp’.

“I brought you something,” he said lightly.

Laurent couldn’t help but smile again slightly. “Oh did you ?”

Nicaise came in the living room, dropping heavily on the couch next to Laurent, and throw him a frozen box.

“Ice cream… ?” asked Laurent, lost.

“Yep,” said Nicaise smugly, looking at the screen. “I heard that’s what normal people do when they have break ups.”

“I don’t…” started Laurent, and caught himself.

“I am not in a break-up state. I didn’t break up and I’m perfectly fine.”

“You’re only fooling yourself, Laurent.”

He reached to give Laurent a big spoon, and Laurent, reluctantly, took it.

“Just because I like ice cream doesn’t mean you’re right,” Laurent said, digging in the chocolate custard.

There was bits of caramelized pecans in it. And caramel sauce.

Ok it was really good.

“Sure,” Nicaise snorted.

The movie’s credits were already rolling, so Laurent asked Nicaise if he wanted a specific movie to watch after.

“We could watch Independance Day,” said Laurent suddenly, remembering a past conversation they had. “Or Armaggedon. Both are funny. But I may end up crying with Armaggedon…”

Nicaise eyed him warily.

“Armaggedon. I want to watch that.”

Laurent swallowed the next sentence.

Oh. Ok.

They launched the movie, and Laurent was glad for the ice cream.

“Do you want to talk about it ?” said Nicaise, breaking the silence.

“No,” answered Laurent immediately.

The teenager turned his head to him. “Come on, Laurent. Spit it out.”

Laurent sighed.

“Damen slept here last night…” he started.

“Oh that’s new,” exclaimed Nicaise. “So now you’re crying over a guy ? That’s not like you…”

Laurent whined “Yeah I know…”

He ate another mouthfull of ice cream.

“But that’s not even it,” he continued. “Yeah I admit I like Damen. I guess. I would be fine if it ended up tho, it’s not like I want to date him or anything. I just… it’s the double face that disturbs me. Yes, I should be used to it by now but I thought… I thought he was different and this morning I was faced with the reality that he’s not and… I don’t want to be in this situation. I don’t want to have to deal with double meaning and feeling like shit because he fucked me and then talked shit about me right after. That’s just too much complicated and I don’t want to have to deal with this bullshit. He’s texting, right under my nose, with his best friend about how he shouldn’t be here when he already got what he wanted from the bitch…”

Nicaise stayed silent for a moment.

“What a jerk,” he whispered, almost only to himself.

Laurent looked at him.

“I’m fine. Really. I’ll get over it and I’ll have forgot about it all tomorrow morning. It was just a lot of hate to absorb at once and I wasn’t in a partying mood.”

He nudged Nicaise’s leg with the tip of his foot.

“But you still should go have fun,” Laurent said softly. “With your friends.”

Nicaise shrugged. “Forget it. They’re assholes anyway.”

And that was the end of it. Laurent wasn’t stupid enough to try to make Nicaise talk about it. It was obvious he didn’t want to.

They simply finished their movie in silence and, as predicted, Laurent cried at the end.

Maybe this was what Nicaise wanted after all.

And maybe, even if Laurent would have a hard time admitting it, it was what he needed.

“Come on, Laurent ! Get up ! It’s already 10 !”

Laurent groaned, trying to bury deeper in the sheets.

“There is a movie seance in an hour, if you get up now you’ll still have time to take breakfast and a shower before we go,” continued Nicaise.

Laurent opened an eye.

“The movie theater ? Hell if you want to watch a movie we can watch it there !”

Nicaise grabbed his arm and pulled.

“No. I want to go out. And I want you to go out too.”

Laurent played dead, making it harder for Nicaise to drag him out of bed.

“Come on Laurent !” Nicaise shouted, pulling harder.

Laurent considered his options for a moment.

“What movie ?”

Nicaise shrugged it off.

“Who cares ? That’s not the point.”

Laurent’s heart skipped a beat. Of course. He had been so stupid…

Nicaise couldn’t read. Yet. And he really, really didn’t like to be reminded that.

Well now he had to…

“Fine,” he said bitterly. “Let me take a shower and we’ll go. Keep me something ressembling even from far to a breakfast, please.”

Nicaise smiled smugly.

For all that Nicaise could be annoying sometimes, Laurent was always lost to it every time he could witness the teenager’s bursts of enthusiasm or joy.

He was fascinated by the way Nicaise talked passionately about the movie when they were leaving the theater, even if of course if asked Nicaise would deny it all until his last breath.

“You saw that dog ?” Nicaise was rambling energitically.

Laurent was considering hiding the caffeine sources…

“Yes I saw. It was like the center character…”

Nicaise sighed, turning to look in front of him again.

“I wish I had a dog,” he whispered.

Fuck that bitch was good because Laurent’s heart shrank a little at that…

The next week’s work part was a bit… tensed. At best.

Laurent was split between the desire to stay away from Nikandros as much as he could and pursuing him out of spite. He ended up doing a combinaison of both.

He still tried to prevent it from impacting his relationship with his others coworkers.

But if everyone kept insulting him behind his back, then in the end why even care ?

Having a life to go back home to, and more often lately, someone too, helped.

That was what mattered in the end. Not this shitty job.

Still, when thursday arrived, Laurent was counting the hours that still separated him from his week end.

To come back from the copy machine, he had to pass in front of Kastor’s office.

Laurent was not religious, but still he found himself silently praying the monster there wouldn’t summon him in…

Still, Laurent slowed down, hearing voices through the door.

More importantly, voices shouting his name.

“You can’t keep firing people just because you don’t like them !”

“I’m firing him because he’s a bad employee.”

Kastor’s voice. The other must be Damen. Laurent came closer to the door, watching the corridor for incoming people.

“No he’s not and you know it. He’s one of the harder workers and he’s always in time. Please, Kastor, hear reason. Firing people that actually work will only bring the ruin to the enterprise. It’s the work of father’s life, and you are going to destroy it…”

The last sentence was lower, probably from sadness. Laurent frowned.

“Don’t try to fool me into thinking you’re defending him for Dad’s sake. You just want to keep your hole to fuck and it’s more convenient if he’s near.”

Feeling burdened all at once, Laurent practically ran away from the door before he could hear Damen’s answer. It couldn’t be a good answer. In any case.

Arriving to his booth, he dropped the pile of files on the desk and collapsed onto his chair. Thank god it was soon time to go. It had been a long day and he could almost taste the episode about to drop on his shoulders any minute now.

Had it been six months ago, Laurent would have left the office and never come back.

But his situation was different now and, with Nicaise living at his place almost everyday, he needed money to feed them both and especially Nicaise’s luxury wishes that he couldn’t bring himself to completely refuse him.

He needed his job. That was no surprise, that was not new.

That was why he had stayed even as he saw the general mood and pressure there months ago, why he worked hard and harder than everyone, and late hours even at home.

He needed this job because he needed the money.

Fuck Kastor and fuck everyone in this shithole of an office, but sadly he couldn’t just leave.

Even when the situation was awkward and uncomfortable and unhealthy with Damen fucking him and obviously preventing him from being fired for that exact reason.

He didn’t wanted to stay…

Keeping it together for appearances’ sake, he still managed to close up a few looses ties in his work before the clock finally ticked five and he left, the knot in his guts slowly loosening from knowing he wouldn’t be watched, soon.

Coming home under the rain, he started to fantasize on what could possibly help finish the day in a slightly less shitty way, and only thought about drinking until he passed out.

If Nicaise was there… maybe ice cream ?

But he came back to a cold and empty appartment, and the darkness over the impersonnal furniture only made him feel worse.

Booze then.

He combined the fantasies and poured a generous amount of bourbon in the rest of the vanilla ice cream pack Nicaise brought him last time, and ate it by big spoonful in front of the tv, not really looking at it, just trying to prevent his tears from falling.

After a while, exhaustion and alcohol helping, he managed to get up, pour nuggets in a microwavable box for tomorrow’s lunch like a good little kid, take a burning hot shower to feel a little less empty, and nest himself into the bedding.

Tomorrow’s was going to be shitty too, he couldn’t afford a night of breaking down.

Friday was indeed particularly shitty.

The coronation of a great week and the result of the burn out AND the hungover.

Everything around him was just… too much and he couldn’t handle it all.

He felt overwhelmed and assaulted even more every second and answered by biting the head off everyone who dared to approach him.

Talk about bettering his relationships at work…

When the clock finally hit five, Laurent let out the breath he had hold in all day long and left the building, ignoring his name shouted somewhere behind him. Vannes, maybe. Well whatever she wanted to ask, it would have to wait until monday.

Ignoring the missed calls from Damen too.

Apparently the guy finally noticed that Laurent saved his number in his phone, and haven’t stopped using it since.

But he didn’t want to have to deal with Damen for the moment.

He just wanted to go home and… rest.

When he arrived at his appartment, he quickly shed off his coat and collapsed in the couch.

After a while he squirmed to get his phone out of his pocket and started a youtube playlist video for a background and wrapped himself in a plaid.

The rest of the world would wait.

Laurent hadn’t done anything of his saturday. No work. No chores. Not even a proper meal, he only ate an old bag of chips around the middle of the afternoon.

Whether he liked it or not, he was well in episode.

Fuck.

All of that because of stupid fucking assholes.

Yeah. That was probably how they called him too…

Somewhen during sunday, Nicaise came back, and gave him a once over and a “You look like shit” that went greatly appreciated.

After trying pretty much everything he could think of to ‘cheer him up’ he finally gave up and went to cook something for himself.

It wasn’t grandiose, but it wasn’t burnt so the fact that Nicaise was now able to cook some pasta pretty much correctly reassured Laurent that now he had one of the basic skills necessary for young adults.

Nicaise even left some of it in the fridge for him.

Laurent cried when he told him that, Nicaise only rolled his eyes.

“Really ? You’re crying over pasta now ??”

Apparently he quickly got enough of Laurent’s pity party and left.

As he was passing by him on his way out, Laurent grabbed his arm.

“You don’t have to, you know that ? You don’t have to leave and you don’t have to go back there. This is always going to be a home for you even if I’m not easy to live with.”

Nicaise stared in his eyes for a moment, looking for something, probably other than the resolve that Laurent forced in them.

But eventually he pulled his arm back and left.

Of course, by monday morning, he still didn’t had his shit back together.

It was deeply unnerving him but there was little he could do except wait for the episode to pass. And it wouldn’t be in time to go to work.

And, to be honest with himself, it’s not like he really wanted to go to work anyway…

Still, he hated to call in sick…

“Hey it’s Laurent…”

“Laurent ? Why are you calling me from upstairs ?”

Laurent sighed. Karen was not known for her cunning intelligence…

“I’m not upstairs, I’m still home. I’m sick, I can’t come today.”

“Why ?”

Because I’m fucking sick don’t you ever listen when we talk to you ?

“Because I’m sick ? If the human ressources ask I’ll send the doc’s papers when I’ll got them.”

“Why ? What do you have ?”

“I’m sick.”

She chuckled. Laurent started to have murder fantasies on her too.

“Yeah that I got but what is it ? The flu ?”

Laurent tensed up. It was always the same. The social expectations of telling everything to everyone about our little diseases. You know, ‘just to be sure the others aren’t going to be sick too.’

“No it’s not. I’m just sick, it’s not contagious. I’ll send the paper later.”

After that he hanged up. Not very polite or socially smart, probably, but it was that or start to eviscerate her.

Now the doc…

What was just fucking great was that, even if he was obviously less in a state for it, he had even more social obligations now, phone conversations he didn’t want to have. A place to be when he could barely leave his couch…

If episodes were easy they wouldn’t be episodes.

“Hello, I need to see the Dr. Paschal please.”

“Are you a new patient ?”

“No, an old one. He knows me well.”

“And you call for what ?”

“To have an appointment ? As soon as possible.”

“Yes but what are your symptoms ? I need to fill the file.”

“Just give me an appointment, I’ll see that with the Dr. Paschal.”

“Without knowing for what it is I can’t see how urgent it is…”

“Just ! Just give me an appointment, as soon as possible. Or ask the doctor to call me back, alright ?”

There was a silence at the other side.

“Fine,” her voice was strained, she was angry at being yelled at. “This afternoon, four.”

When she hand up, Laurent exhaled slowly.

He hated secretaries.

“You owe me that medical leave, Paschal. And you know it.”

Paschal squirmed in his chair, not looking at him.

“I… know that. But I’m concern about your state. You can’t just come ask for a paper every time you’re in episode and do nothing more.”

“Ok so first I don’t come every time I have an episode, I only come when the episodes prevent me from going to work. I’m not harrassing you there.”

“That’s not what I meant. I’m concerned about you, Laurent. You have to find some kind of control over your condition. A way to control the episodes.”

Laurent looked at him sternly.

“You want me to go see a psy.”

“I want you to go see a psy. Only a specialist can find the best way to apprehend the problem. I wish I could help but I’m not that specialist. I couldn’t give you meds to regulate your mood, because I wouldn’t know what I’m doing !”

“That’s a very reassuring discourse, doctor,” said Laurent icily.

“Just try alright ? And if it doesn’t work and you don’t like the first psy you see, find another one. Try until you find someone you can discuss with. Try. Please.”

Laurent pinched his lips, not answering.

“I’ll give you that medical leave, of course. But I really want you to think about the future, think of a way out. I know you believe it won’t ever change. But it can. It will. You just have to work for it…”

‘Work for it’ thought Laurent, folding neatly the paper between his hands. ‘What if I don’t want to ?’

Paschal had gave him a two-days leave.

That will either ease the transition back to normal, or will mean Laurent will go back there tuesday afternoon for more time.

Both sounded lovely.

Laurent was no longer just depressed. He was also bitter and angry.

He just wanted it to be over…

He comated through the rest of the evening, and didn’t really wake up tuesday.

If it didn’t get better he would have to go back to the doc… He didn’t want to.

Not like he wanted to do anything, though…

Knowing there wasn’t any pleasurable alternative in his state, Laurent settled on spending most of what was left of his two-days-leave to sleep.

At least he’ll be rested after. That was probably the best he could ask of the situation.

He was pulled from his transe, his nap ? by someone knocking at the door. Hard enough to make sure they were heard.

‘Just leave the bloody stuff on the mat, and fuck off’ thought Laurent, turning back in the blankets. The delivery guy knew the deal by now.

The knocking came back, more insistant. Laurent groaned. It was become hard to ignore and especially annoying.

“Laurent I know you’re here ! I saw your car and I saw light,” came a muffled voice through the door.

Damen’s voice.

Laurent moaned. Not today.

Did he forgot to turn down the lights ? He recalled the way he stumbled, broke in two by the pain, to his bed. Yeah it was totally possible he forgot those bloody lights.

“Laurent !” Damen almost screamed through the door.

“Not today…” Laurent whispered.

“You want me to break the door ? ‘Cuz I will,” Damen threatened.

Laurent grimaced.

Reparing a door, or in that case, considering Damen’s size, replacing it, was a lot of bother and a lot of money.

‘Fine’ he thought bitterly.

Dragging himself through his appartment, he put on a mask and straightened himself before unlocking and opening the door.

Damen looked angry.

Laurent didn’t manage to focus on the words. His mind was still in a fog. But Damen started screaming at him, how he scared him, and why didn’t he answer, what was all of that meaning. Did something happened, couldn’t you just answer your phone.

And a lot of other things that didn’t sound good.

It’s not like he married the man, when did he decided Laurent owed him anything ?

Tears were starting to load behind his eyes. Laurent hated being screamed at.

“Bipolar,” said Laurent when Damen finally stopped his tantrum.

Damen blinked. “What ?”

“I’m bipolar. You know, that’s a thing, that exists. And that explains why I didn’t call you and why I’m not gonna date you, because I’m not dating material.”

Laurent had kept his tone slow and soft, maybe in an attempt to soften the blow and prevent them from a nasty heartbreak no one had time for.

Or in an attempt to end this conversation and get it over with.

So they could both move on.

“And that’s why you should go, now,” Laurent said, even softer.

Before it becomes awkward, before you try to make excuses to leave the freak behind. Before you can give me pity and gauche empathy. Before you can look at me with your eyes too honest and show me the pity and disgust.

Before we can talk about it.

Just leave.

Forget me. Forget us.

“You want me to leave ?” asked Damen, looking dumbfounded.

That’s not exactly what Laurent said. But the truth was that it would just be easier for everyone. Rather than answer and maybe lying even if he wasn’t sure what would be the lying answer, Laurent throw another question.

“What more is there to say ?” Laurent sounded tired even to himself.

Damen shrugged. “I don’t know,” he answered honestly. “Something. Anything.”

Laurent forcefully stopped the whirlwind of thoughts inside his head.

“Just leave it, Damen. This is not something you can fix.”

With that Laurent closed the door, feeling each inch of it like a nail sinking in his heart.

It will pass.

Just another story that ended. Not his first.

It won’t be his last, either. He will never be able to fight the instinct to go back to create links and relationships, to trust and like people. To love, again, and again. Watching it fall off the cliffs every time.

He was used to it, by now.

When his alarm went off on Wednesday morning, Laurent took a long time considering his options. Pros and cons and all.

No. He didn’t want to go to work. Like hell he didn’t.

No. He was not ‘fine’.

No. He really didn’t want to see his colleagues and fucking Karen and have to explain himself. Didn’t want to maybe be forced to invent a complex lie of a believable common illness that wasn’t ‘I went in fucking depressive episode’.

He didn’t want Kastor giving him hell for the two days of missed work.

And no, he didn’t want to see Damen again and see in his eyes that he knew, and have to keep it quiet so this dumbass wouldn’t tell the whole building about Laurent’s ‘dirty little secret’.

But yes, he was better. Far from good. But he could walk. And he could go outside. And he could probably work. Staying home while he could work was irresponsible and not really who Laurent wanted to be, in the end.

And seeing Paschal again for a new leave didn’t sound great either.

The more he struggled in his own head, the more time he wasted, lying in bed, when he should do something more useful like shower or eat.

But the longer he stayed under the covers, the stronger the argument ‘you’d be late anyway, would be better not to go at all’ got and he really wanted to listen to that one.

After more than half an hour, Laurent sighed loudly and pushed the cover off of himself.

He was not a child. ‘I’m too sick I don’t want to go to school Mom’ didn’t work anymore since he was his only mother and the only adult who’d have to deal with the consequences of that.

He forced himself to quicken his shower and only grab two slices of brioche, untoasted, on his way out. You have to work for a real shower and breakfast, and the first step is fucking get up.

As a result, and as often in the end of the depressive episodes, his mood was awful and he wanted to kill everyone that crossed his path.

Starting with so-what-was-this-mysterious-illness-Karen.

Fuck Karen.

Make-sure-I-never-find-you-alone-in-a-parking-basement-Karen.

Plastering the fakest smile he got in his face, Laurent acted like he didn’t answer the question and kept his gaze straight ahead as he walk fast to his desk.

Sitting in his chair heavily, he took in the gigantic piles of files and loose papers in front of his computer and forced himself to breathe in, and breathe out.

If he had to go all day with that restless anger and raw energy, the best he could do was to use it on working.

Of course Kastor still came to pick at him, but Laurent knew he was legally in right thanks to Paschal’s magical paper, so he just stopped listening and let the arrogant bastard talk to himself.

Everyone else received an icy silence treatment when they came, so most of them took the hint quickly and just left whatever file they wanted to give him on top of the nearest pile and left, almost running.

Even Vannes gave up.

Somehow, Laurent wanted to be proud of that feat.

But it wasn’t a very good long-term strategy to piss off the people he actualy needed to survive.

Of course, to catch up on work he had to stay FOUR FUCKING HOURS after everyone else left, and worked only on caffeine by then.

Great fucking day !

Well it was expected the moment he opened his eyes that morning, but still.

When he came back home, exhausted and sticky and on edges, it was to a feeling of warmth coming from the kitchen, as well as some mixed smells of cooking and something burnt.

Laurent smiled.

Nicaise was home.

Laurent let the tension leave his body, and relaxed, his smile staying easily on his lips.

He was home.

Nicaise had been there all nights after that. Laurent didn’t know what he did during the days, if he was at his place or not, but he was there everytime he came back and that did wonder on his mood and gave him enough joy to go through a difficult week.

Everyone else kept avoiding him, and if he did worry about the consequences it would have in his workplace, Laurent was still glad for it.

He was glad Damen didn’t try to talk to him. Glad he didn’t say anything about the fact that they had slept together not so long ago or about their conversation that tuesday.

It just helped make everything more bearable.

Nice, domestic times with Nicaise, even if sometimes they were a bit awkward and unnatural for they didn’t know if they crossed a limit and upsetted the other, were a blessing. Who knew it could be easy and funny and simple with the little brat ?

When Friday blissfully came to an end, Laurent enjoyed the feeling that he could let go of the problems, at least until monday, and just enjoy a day off lazying around.

Coming home around 6 since, with no Kastor, there was less pressure on results, Laurent noticed Nicaise had baked cookies, and surprisingly they were edibles. He was really making progresses. Of course Laurent couldn’t say that or Nicaise would have thought he was condescending and would have hated it.

Laurent slumped down on the couch next to the teenager and showed his enthusiasm for the cookies by eating them one after the other until there was only two left and he stopped himself to leave them to Nicaise.

After two episodes of The Great British Baking Show, Nicaise’s voice rang out in the silence.

“Did you meant it ?” he said.

Laurent looked at him, looking resolutely at the TV to avoid Laurent’s eyes, his voice firm but quiet, like he was hoping Laurent didn’t hear him but refusing to show weakness.

“What did I meant ?” asked Laurent softly.

Nicaise seemed to force the words out.

“When you said I’ll live here when he’ll have thrown me away. Was it just to make me leave there or did you meant it ?”

Laurent was stunned into silence by the surprise. Nicaise wasn’t one to start difficult discussions, more to avoid them. He was probably scared of the answer of that one.

“Of course I meant it,” Laurent stuttered, looking for his words. “It’s your home, here. As long as you will want it, my home will be yours too.”

Nicaise didn’t smile, but his body seemed to relax a great deal.

“Good,” he said abruptly, and that was the end of it.

Laurent started to wonder if he made the right decision as soon as the next morning.

“I didn’t become Cresus in the middle of the night, Nicaise. If you want a pet, that’s negociable but can’t we just get you a rescued cat ?” Laurent said as he watched Nicaise wander in the allays of the pet shop.

“If it’s my home, it’s my choice,” Nicaise said, not looking away from the bearded dragons.

“It will be your choice when it will be your money…”

“I can work if it’s only that.”

No. No. The only jobs Nicaise was thinking about included prostitution and Laurent’s wasn’t someone who could sleep knowing he set up a fourteen-years-old in any kind of job.

“You’re not gonna work,” Laurent said firmly.

“Then you’re gonna pay,” answered Nicaise right after, as if he had already their whole conversation planned in advance and was playing Laurent all along.

It was probably true and Laurent wasn’t sure he liked that.

Nicaise lighten up suddenly, stuck by an idea.

“A snake ! I want a snake !”

‘You already got one’ thought Laurent bitterly. No matter how he acted, the nickname followed him everywhere he went, even when restarting fresh at every job.

But he could only hurry to follow Nicaise to the snake section, the teenager running dangerously between the boxes of food and glass vivariums.

He would bother to tell him to be careful, if he didn’t know that Nicaise, with his natural spite, would do even worse just because he said it.

“And do you plan to take care of a snake by a distance if you’re not there all the time ?” Laurent complained. “Those stuff require a lot of attention and specific manipulations and food and whatever. Who’s gonna do all of that when you’re not here ?”

Nicaise stopped and turned to him, his eyes boring into Laurent’s as he said firmly :

“You will. It won’t be my pet, Laurent. It will be ours. You’re in it too, remember.”

Turning back to the vivariums.

“Plus, snakes are scary and intimidating and beautiful and cool. We need a pet that looks like us.”

Laurent felt his grumpiness melt away. Nicaise’s bursts of youthfullness were a wonder to admire but sadly the teen was aware of it and knew how to manipulate Laurent.

Laurent didn’t like being manipulated like that. Nicaise was lucky he was… well. Nicaise.

It wouldn’t have worked from anyone else. Laurent was sure of that.

“I love that one”

Nicaise had stopped in front of one of the big vivariums, with the big snakes in there.

He was looking at a small snake. A pine snake.

Eyeing the tag, Laurent quickly calculated the ratio of lengths : this one was a youngster. A baby, really.

Laurent sighed. “It’s 70 bucks. Plus the vivarium and all the material.”

Nicaise didn’t look at him, ignoring his input.

“Look how cute it is !”

It was cute.

Laurent never really thought of it, but snakes were indeed cute. Especially babies.

Laurent couldn’t look away, for a reason he couldn’t understand.

Was it how it felt to find the good one ?

Damn Nicaise would be his end.

“Fine. Guess we have a snake then.”

He raised his hand to hail a shop helper.

Driving with a very unfocused Nicaise talking without interruption beside him was a feat in itself.

“We need a name” Nicaise said in between nonsense.

“I don’t know snake names. Except Nagini but we’re not calling it Nagini.”

“Her,” corrected Nicaise. “But it’s our snake, we can call her whatever we want.”

“Then what do you want ?”

Nicaise went thoughtfull for a moment.

“I like Charlie,” he said eventually. “I think it fits her.”

Laurent risked an eye in the interior mirror to look at the snake in its box in the backseat.

Charlie was a nice name.

Maybe Laurent had lost all his patience during his work week but for real building the vivarium and everything needed to install Charlie’s new home took forever !

After everything was finally settled, Laurent took a break in the couch and just looked at Nicaise getting all crazy about the scaled creature in his hands.

Laurent grabbed his computer, and a notepad.

He started to note everything the girl at the shop told him about how to deal with the baby snake, and proceded to extend those informations with web researches.

Snakes were way more complicated to care for than regular stray cats…

After brushing his teeth and getting dressed on monday morning, Laurent slowed down to watch Nicaise sleeping on the couch, all wrapped up in a scaly scarf.

It would truly be a miracle if he managed to convince that snake to spend the night in its vivarium if Nicaise continued on getting it out behind his back.

Bad habits, all of that…

Laurent’s heart clenched once again at the sight.

He really, really wished for Nicaise to sleep in his bedroom. To not feel like he was just crushing there, that it was his home and that he could settle without thinking he would be thrown out at the first occasion. But even the snake, even everything Laurent had done, it wasn’t enough to convince the teenager to just sleep in his own bed.

Laurent eyed warily the greyish room at his left, wondering again what to add for it to be welcoming. He didn’t want to decorate at risk of disgusting Nicaise even more. Teenagers build themselves by opposition at Nicaise’s age. He would want exactly the opposite of Laurent would offer for the sole reason that it was Laurent who offered.

And that was fine, really. Laurent was really glad to see normal teenager behavior in Nicaise. It just meant he was at a loss for what to offer…

He tried to think of who he was at Nicaise’s age. What was important for him, what he really wanted in his room to mark them as his.

And then he knew.

There was one thing Laurent wanted more than anything back then. More than his brother.

He wanted a lock.

He went to the hardware store after work hours, and was greeted by a young man too tall for his own body and showing an enthusiasm that was greatly unusual in retail.

He showed a collection of locks, all with different prices and different efficiencies.

Laurent chose the stronger one.

“What do you want to keep inside ? A beast ?” asked the salesman jokingly.

Laurent didn’t raise his eyes from the instructions on the back of the package.

“No. I want to keep it out.”

He looked at the man a few seconds after that, enjoying the puzzlement and slight fear on his face.

“I’ll take that. And I need the screws to fix it too.”

The man shook his fear quickly.

“I know the best ones for that ! With that, I promise, the door is gonna break before that lock !” he said with another short laugh.

Coming home he settled to work almost immediatly, only taking the time to return Nicaise’s lazy greetings.

In a matter of minutes, the lock was fixed solidly on the inside of Nicaise’s door. Only one way to lock it and one way to open it : from the inside.

Nicaise had been peaking out from the corner of the corridor all the while, Charlie wrapped around his shoulders.

Laurent left the room and walked toward him, preventing a smug smile from showing on his face.

“See ? Now you have a lock on your door. You’re welcome.”

He passed the teenager, frozen on the spot from surprise and shock, and smiled widely when he knew Nicaise couldn’t see it.

“I’m cold. And hungry,” Laurent said joyously. “Pasta ?”

The saddest part of life for Laurent, even after everything that happened to him, was to have to admit that cake was no longer edible.

Already his lunch at work was far in his stomach’s memory and he had spent the day running to avoid Damen’s insistent tries at talking to him ‘in private’.

This was exhausting, as the man took himself a large part of the work space and proved difficult to hide from. Luckily Laurent had experience in hiding.

But he looked forward so much to that last piece of cake. But this had been there for so long, despite both their sweet tooth and reality imposed itself : this cake wasn’t edible anymore.

If Laurent had been closer to a depressive episode, that would have made him cry.

At least that proved he was… fine. Well. Not in episode. That was already something.

He briefly considered giving it to Charlie, but he didn’t hate the snake enough for that.

Can snake eat cake ? Or were there purely carnivorous.

Maybe he should research it, but the fact that he was searching in the hope of feeding stale cake to his pet snake didn’t sound good even in his own ears.

He sighed. The week had been long and it was only thursday.

At least no boss tomorrow. Small mercies.

Wait. Wasn’t it tomorrow that clients came to visit the firm and Kastor was there to guide them so had to pretend he was actually working on fridays ?

Oh fuck. And Laurent would have to dress better than usual, too.

Nicaise hadn’t been there much since monday, and that didn’t help his mood.

Of course Laurent shouldn’t rely that much on Nicaise’s presence and its impact on his mood but he still missed him. At least he knew the teen wasn’t at his uncle’s, as he was far too happy to leave for that to be true.

Truly, they hadn’t talked much after Laurent installed the lock, Nicaise not mentionning it at all.

But, Laurent thought, at least he went into the room a couple hours each day. He may even have slept there, a night, but Laurent didn’t try to open the door to check. It would have been a waste of the trust he had spent so long building.

He caught sight of Nicaise running to the door at the corner of his eyes.

“A minute !”

Nicaise slowed down, a curious look on his face.

“We need to talk,” continued Laurent.

Nicaise scrunched up his face, reluctantly and very dramatically going to sit at the table.

“I really don’t like it when you do that,” Nicaise complained.

And yet, you’re still here.

Laurent got up to sit face to him. “I know. Believe it or not, I don’t like that much either.”

He waited a few seconds for Nicaise to give him his full attention.

“We both know the reality,” started Laurent. “My uncle could at any moment decide that he doesn’t like his old toys playing together. He may decide on a whim to get to us, to get us back, torture us, or kill us.”

Reluctantly, Nicaise nodded.

Laurent sighed. “Now remember my goal is not, and never will be, to spy on you or get you under control. But by living here you made us a team. A team work together. I don’t want to put a GPS on your phone and you don’t want to have to have a curfew.”

“Hell no !” shouted Nicaise.

“Let me finish,” continued Laurent with a little laugh. “I said this is not going to happen. BUT reality is reality and if something happens to you I need to be aware as quickly as possible to be able to react as quickly as possible and have a tangible chance to save your cute ass. And it’s the same on the other way. If he gets me, I’d rather have someone aware of it before the next month, you may understand.”

Nicaise was frowning.

“SO !” Laurent shouted to divert his attention back to the present. “There is this app…”

Laurent got out his phone to show to Nicaise.

“It doesn’t ask you to text. It doesn’t track you. It’s not a call, not much. Just a button, every few hours, it will ask you if you’re alright. You enter a quick code no one else must ever know, and it leaves you the fuck alone, and if I check on it, I can see that, at that specific time, you were alright. That’s all. Promise !”

Nicaise still looked dubious.

“It’s only if you missed the alert and the next an hour later, that the GPS starts and indicates me where the phone was, and the last time you logged in. And I have an alert on my own to tell me you’re in danger. And it goes the same the other way. This way I don’t know where you are, what the fuck you’re doing with your own life, or whoever you are with, because this is none of my business, but if you’re in danger enough that you can’t unload your phone, I can react.”

Laurent finished off with a smile he hoped was convicing. He knew it was a sort of commitment Nicaise would probably refuse, as logical as it may be.

“I don’t like it,” Nicaise dropped, finally.

Laurent sighed, deflating.

“I know… I’m going to desinstall it…”

“BUT,” Nicaise interrupted him, “I must admit it’s logical and pretty clever. So as much as I don’t like it, I do appreciate the idea of being a thorn in this bastard’s ass if he gets after mine again.”

Laurent smiled wild. It seemed to annoy Nicaise even more.

They were a family.

Laurent hated his job.

He hated it with a force he never thought he’d put in anything else than hating his uncle.

What a feat !

He was so close to kill Karen he had started to prepare a minuted plan for the evening.

Of course kill Kastor would make more sense as he was the one doing most of the shit, but Laurent really didn’t like the way most of his colleagues were dealing with the situation. Enhance, Karen.

Weren’t situation like that supposed to be bonding for employees ? Like. Everyone against the devil boss ?

But nooo ! Apparently they were all together, but not only against the devil boss. But against Laurent too.

Apparently being the more hard working one didn’t play in his favor. Maybe they resented him for it, in the end ? How was he supposed to know ?

All he got was whispers and glares and stares and no concrete blame voiced against him.

It was worse because it was unsaid.

He was supposed to know why they hated him, in their mind.

He was supposed to know what he was doing wrong and change that.

But telling him it ? Nooooo !

There was a lot of things they could fault him on, but hell at least he was direct on telling them what he had to critisize about their behavior !

Was it a comportement fit for grown-up adults ?

If he wanted to deal with three-years-olds all his life he would have stayed in school !

He couldn’t handle more of people talking behind his back, acting like he didn’t know exactly what was going on. He ate alone at his desk, fulminating.

When Vannes approached he sent her away with an icy glare, and she was clever enough to turn back on her path, but still acted like he insulted her great ancestors.

Usually he liked Vannes. Queer people attracting each other, all of that. But she was the biggest gossiper he knew and he couldn’t take it that day.

He knew she knew everything that was said on him and he didn’t want a conversation where they’d both pretend he didn’t see all the lies in her eyes.

He tried to focus on work, of course. He was at work, after all. If everyone else couldn’t be professional, he could. But he couldn’t focus as well as usual.

His emotions were going out of his control and everything felt louder and brighter and more aggressive and 90 percents of his mind was sing songing that why even bother, this was just a job, how was it important in the rest of the universe and in his life, that there wasn’t any future anyway.

So why bother, after all ?

But a little part was still fighting.

Because he needed this paycheck. Because if he was to be alive tomorrow and that was, sadly, the most likely, there would be consequences to live with. And not being able to pay rent or food was not a consequence he was ready to face.

He needed money, so as much as he hated socializing and following assholes’ orders, he would pursue his initial plan : work his ass off and never think it would be ‘fair’.

He did manage to get a little done in the day. Enough not to be completely overwhelmed come monday.

Of course that was when he was packing, after around half the staff already left, that Damen came to his box, with a serious face and a body language that screamed ‘we need to talk’.

Laurent felt like he was about to explode.

“No !” he said quickly as soon as Damen was close enough to hear it. “Definitely no. Not today. You take your big boy shoes and you turn away and wait for whatever you want to say for it to be another day !”

Laurent shoved the rest of his papers in his bag and turned his heels quickly, heading for the exit without a single glance back.

Not today.

When he finally managed to pass the door of his appartment, he was so devoid of energy he could barely shed his shoes and coat and hang it on the hook before slowy walking pass the kitchen.

The anger had drained him of everything.

The paranoia. The knowledge it was founded. The hate. The stress.

It took every ounce of energy and will from him.

He felt like a tin can shell of a body, ready to collapse under its own weight at any given moment.

Not taking any risk of exactly that, he walked straight to the couch and curled up in the corner of it, his knees raised against his chest as if it could protect his heart and lungs from the outside world.

Rather than starring blankly into the void as he had for the first moments, he hid his face between his knees too. As if knees were the ultimate protection or whatever.

He hated days like those.

And he hated that he had no solution against them. That all he did to improve the situation only made it worse in the past.

He hated to see them coming back, always, a part of his life way too present for his tastes, like the need to go buy laundry detergent. Always here when we wanted it the less. And so, so often. A permament Damocles’ sword that would never go away…

His mind was and would always be his ennemy and he couldn’t help but wonder.

Why even bother ?

Nicaise left his room after a while, Laurent didn’t notice he was there in the first place.

When he saw Laurent in his fœtal position, worry sketched itself on his features.

In an instant he was crouched in front of the blond, a hand on his shoulder and asking if he was okay.

Did he look okay ? he wanted to ask, but he was just too tired for snark.

“What’s going on ?” insisted Nicaise.

But Laurent didn’t bother answering. It was probably clear on his features anyway. Couldn’t Nicaise see it ?

“You know what ?” Nicaise said, forcing a cheerful tone when he wasn’t fooling any of them, “I’ll make hot cocoa. You look cold. It will help.”

Laurent was cold. But he couldn’t care much about it right then.

He didn’t watch Nicaise’s attempts in the kitchen. He just… didn’t care.

The teenager came back a long moment after, holding two cups of steaming chocolate.

He pushed one of them into Laurent’s hands.

It was too hot and it was burning its skin, but Laurent didn’t put it away. He didn’t want Nicaise to hate him too.

Under Nicaise’s encouraging gaze, he watched the cup between his palms.

The liquid looked… weird. An unnatural color. And Laurent couldn’t stomach the idea of absorbing anything, eating or drinking. So something that was a bit of both…

It was hard, but he forced himself to take a sip, not wanting to disappoint Nicaise and his kind smile.

Nicaise was rarely allowing himself to look that kind and vulnerable.

Laurent felt like he should appreciate the moment more. But…

Appart from burning his tongue, Laurent realized quickly that it did taste as bad as it looked. Well, he remembered, Nicaise never made hot cocoa before. Maybe Laurent should have spent more time teaching him if he dared have high expectancies.

He scolded his features to hide the disgust and even managed to force a tiny smile.

“Thanks,” Laurent whispered. After all, the teenager put a lot of thought and care into that cup. The taste mattered little, right ?

He still tried to discreetly put the cup down on the table.

Discreetly was somehow impossible when Nicaise was watching him so closely, but the teenager didn’t comment so he probably managed not to piss him off.

After a few more seconds, Nicaise sighed sadly and went to drink his own cup.

A part of Laurent wanted to prevent it, afraid of letting the kid poison himself maybe, but he didn’t move quickly enough so all Nicaise saw was an aborted small move in his direction.

His face contorted in disgust.

“God this is disgusting ! Why didn’t you tell me it was so awful ?” Nicaise said with an amused smile.

Seeing that it didn’t spark any smile in response, Nicaise put away his own cup and put a hand on Laurent’s knee softly.

“Laurent,” he asked softly again. “What’s going on ?”

Laurent expired loudly, not ready to talk but knowing it had to go out.

“I’m tired, Nicaise. I’m just so fucking tired. I’m tired of remembering stuff that didn’t happen, and forget about some that actually did. I’m tired of only being myself for a day once a month. Tired of working thrice as hard as they have to, and it never being enough anyway. Tired of the unstability because there will never be more. I’m tired of controlling everything, all the time. Fuck, I’m tired of being poor, too, and having to count every penny. I’m tired of feeling eyes in the back of my neck, of making social mistakes without understanding them, and I’m tired of the poison in their eyes when they talk about me and think I can’t hear them.

“I’m tired of this fucking life that is never going to get better.”

He closed his eyes, burying his face in his hands.

“I wish it could be simple, just for once. As simple as stopping to breath would be.”

He raised his head, looking tentatively into Nicaise’s hurtful eyes.

God he hated himself.

Nicaise slowly came to sit next to him, wrapping an arm around Laurent’s shoulders and hugging him close, his cheek on Laurent’s shoulder.

They rocked slowly together, Laurent’s eyes slowly closing, his breathing deepening.

“Don’t die, Laurent,” Nicaise whispered softly. “Or he would have won.”

Laurent shook his head. “He already won,” he answered softly.

After a moment, Nicaise talked again, even more quietly.

“Don’t die.”

Laurent exhaled, trying to force away the knot in his throat.

“I need you.”

Laurent’s heart crumpled on itself, he felt awful.

They rocked softly in silence for a long while, Nicaise obviously trying to show empathy in a way he didn’t knew well. The physical closeness was exceptionnal, especially at that level, but it barely changed anything for Laurent. He still felt empty, and cold, and his heart hurt too much.

“I just want it to stop. Is that so selfish ?” said Laurent.

Nicaise squeezed him tighter.

Then he got up, bringing Laurent’s hand with him, and made him get up.

He was heading towards Laurent’s bedroom, and Laurent followed without energy to fight.

Of course. Sleep. The only answer left in that kind of situation. Bitterness filled his mouth when he remembered there wasn’t any other answer waiting for him, ever.

Forcing Laurent to lay down on his side, Nicaise placed himself behind his unmoving form, probably in the intent of lying behind him, maybe even spooning him.

As good as it would feel to be hold by someone, Laurent’s mind stopped blank at the idea.

“Go to your room, Nicaise. I don’t like knowing you in someone else’s bed,” he said firmly.

Nicaise froze for a second, but got up eventually, and left the room without a word, leaving the door open and Laurent to stare at the wall blankly until his body’s mechanisms forcefully closed his too dry eyes.

Laurent didn’t wanted to get up.

Did he really had to ?

It was saturday after all…

Someone would have to pay him to get him out of bed.

Like. A lot of money.

But sadly, he also needed to pee so the will battle for money will have to be for another time.

Dragging his feet, he made his way to the kitchen afterward.

Nicaise wasn’t up there.

Maybe he was in his room, Laurent didn’t check.

His mouth permanently upturned, he filled the keetle and light the fire underneath.

He slowly poured one of his favorite teas, one very strong that usually wake him up quickly, into a little ball and waited for the water to boil, standing in front of the stove.

He knew he looked pathetic but he didn’t want anyone, not even himself, to remind him of it. When the keetle started to whistle, he sighed and started to pour the boiling water in his mug.

His water mug.

That apparently couldn’t handle boiling after standing on the cold counter, as it broke in half, leaving Laurent’s cherished tea to spill everywhere.

Laurent closed his eyes, forcing the breath in and out of his lungs. One time, two times, three times. Before opening them again and discarding further the broken glass and taking another mug in the cupboard. Fishing the metal ball out of the glass mug, he replaced it in the new and started pouring the water again.

He forced his mind to wipe out the knowledge that one of his favorite mugs was now broken in half. That he couldn’t be fixed and that he would have to deal with the remnants at some points.

He just went to the table and craddled his tea between his hands, waiting it to be drinkable.

Nicaise left his room when Laurent was half way through his cup. He yawned, his curls a sleepy mess, flattened on the left. He looked cute.

“Hey,” he said sleepily.

Laurent grumbled a ‘hello’ in answer.

Nicaise rubbed his face and, oddly, smiled at him.

“You’re feeling better ?”

Laurent pouted slightly, assessing the situation.

“Not really, no,” he said. “But I have to go grocery shopping today. Want to come ?”

Nicaise paused, looking disappointed.

“Grocery shopping ? Really ?”

Laurent let out a cynical laugh.

“Yeah ! Really ! What ? You thought the fridge was filling itself alone ?”

Nicaise narrowed his eyes, a no-shit-sherlock look on his face.

“I just had higher expectations for the day than your very fancy grocery shopping. Do you ever do anything else than those mundane boring shit ? Like… having fun ?”

Laurent shrugged.

“Don’t know. Not really, I guess ? Sometimes I spend nights at bar and drink and sometimes hook up. But that’s in phases and I haven’t done it in a while.”

He propped his elbow on the table, resting his chin in his palm.

“And maybe chores sound boring for you but I like them. It’s part of having a home. I love having a home. That means that I love the package, taking care of it, fixing things when it’s needed, and cleaning, and buying stuff to put in there.”

Nicaise frowned, his face showing his disgust at the concept.

That made Laurent smile softly. “Really,” he said again.

A fraction of a second, Nicaise betrayed himself and watched the room, ceiling to floor, with a curious expression.

Maybe he was learning what home meant.

But he schooled his face quickly.

“Whatever,” he said.

He went to grab a bowl of cereals and sat in front of Laurent on the table.

“If I come will you buy me stuff ?”

Laurent shrugged, putting his mug down. “Sure. But you can also ask me what you want and stay here. It’s not an obligation.”

Nicaise shook his head.

“No. If I do that you’ll only get like half of it and it won’t be exactly what I asked. Don’t take me as a fool !”

Laurent hid his smirk behind his mug.

Sure.

He finished his tea and left to put the mug in the sink. Washing it and get rid of the other one could wait.

Suddenly he looked at the vivarium. Charlie was not in there.

First of all, where were she ? Second, no. Leaving glass shards AND a snake unsupervized for hours was NOT a good idea.

Quickly, he gathered the remnants of the mugs, wrapped them in kitchen paper and left it by the door for when they’d leave.

“Go get dressed, then,” he said to Nicaise. “And find that damn snake, it should be in the vivarium when we’re not here.”

Nicaise grumbled something about how criminal it was to put animals in prison, but stood nonetheless and walked toward his room.

An hour later, Charlie was securely locked in her tank, and Laurent was pushing a supermarket cart, Nicaise bouncing at his side like he was high on sugar.

Laurent rolled his eyes.

“So. What do you want ?”

He knew that a different brand of cereal or some candy or chocolate was something possible. But Nicaise had a lot of luxury tastes forced in his mind by Laurent’s uncle’s abuse. Those, Laurent couldn’t afford…

“We’ll need to find you clothes too. Like. Pajamas, underwear,” he added.

Of course he should have thought of it before. But Nicaise never complained about not having underwear and it was only a few night since he actually slept in his bed and that Laurent could notice he wasn’t sleeping in pajamas.

As far as he could remember, Nicaise either only came with the clothes he had on his back, or a small backpack he never saw the content of.

Nicaise had a home now. A home comes with a bed, and clothes and toiletries.

He should have thought of it before.

He went directly into the toiletries aisle, wordlessly picking an electric toothbrush and a loofah. They would probably share the hairbrush so he didn’t bother with that.

Then he asked Nicaise to choose soap and shampoo and other things he might want.

Of course the little spoiled brat took half a dozen hair products and body lotions. But it was something that Nicaise cared about so Laurent would put his money into it.

He was glad the teenagers wasn’t in an opposition mood and picked lube in the sole purpose of embarassing Laurent in front of the cashier.

He probably wouldn’t have been embarassed, but not having a will battle with a kid that day was a victory in itself.

After half an hour of errands, Laurent was pushing an almost full cart. In addition to his usual groceries, there was junk food and candies and candles for Nicaise’s room.

When Nicaise tried to push it to buy expensive coffee and basic stuff, Laurent stopped him.

“Coffee is coffee, Nicaise. I’m not paying four times the price for the same stuff.”

He refused to buy alcohol too.

“If you want to drink, you’ll have to do it outside. No negociations.”

The rebuttals frustrated Nicaise, it was more than obvious, and he was getting bitchier by the minute.

After they charged the groceries in the car and installed themselves back in, he was still frowning.

“Ok. Next stop, clothes,” Laurent said in what he wanted to be a cheerful manner.

Nicaise didn’t answer, but he did seem a bit excited, even if he tried to hide it.

He drove them both to a big fast fashion cheap store.

Ethically and ecologically and hell even economically, it was far from his first choice, but he knew Nicaise would kill him if he suggested second-hand.

Thankfully, Nicaise wasn’t used enough to stores like this one to notice the signs that for older people screamed ‘cheap shit !’

So that’s only when Laurent started to present him a pajama and he saw the tag that he acted like he was just slapped.

“I’m not going to wear anything from here !”

“That’s your right,” said Laurent calmly. “That’s this or thrift store. Pick a side, princess.”

He watched, amused, as a look of horror developped itself on Nicaise’s face.

“Are you fucking kidding me ?!?”

Great now he had a teenager making a scene in the middle of a store.

Was he a vine mom or something ?

“Really it’s just because you’re a brat. You’re wrong. Purple is definitely your color.” Laurent mocked him.

“I don’t care if purple is my fucking color Laurent ! I’m not about to wear a fucking ugly cheap pink and purple pajama !”

Laurent straightened himself, a no bullshit look on him.

“Don’t be ridiculous, Nicaise. I never promised you to carry on the luxuries you’re used to so stop acting like I lied to you. And nobody fucking cares what a pajama looks like. As long as it’s soft, comfortable and warm, hell it’s all that’s required and more.”

Nicaise crossed his arms on his chest.

He wouldn’t accept anything from here.

Or worse. He would make Laurent buy the whole fucking store then wouldn’t wear any of it.

But Laurent didn’t deflate. He was used to will battles with Nicaise and had made that limit very clear, to Nicaise to adapt, for once.

After long minutes, Laurent thought that maybe he had won that one, for Nicaise spitefully ripped the pajama from his hand and walked determinely to the fitting room.

Laurent hid a little smirk behind his back and went to the couch facing the curtains.

After a while, Nicaise emerged, looking cute in his pink and purple pajama. The fit was good, and it was overall a good compromise.

“Don’t worry,” Laurent teased him. “Pink goes with everything.”

The murderous look Nicaise threw at him only made him laugh, and that itself surprised Laurent. He was laughing. He was not that bad, in the end.

Nicaise came to sit next to him on the couch, still fulminating. They were blissfully alone for a saturday. Maybe still a bit early for families.

“How can you even be as poor as you pretend ? Your name has a fucking particule !”

Laurent laughed again, propping his arm on the backrest of the couch behind the teenager.

“It does !” he said. “That’s true. But it’s a name that, well, that lost his value a few generations before mine. By the time my father was the heir, there wasn’t that much left of the fortune of our noble ancestors. And dear old daddy never cared much about me, so I was, let’s say, not his priority, in his testament. Truth is, I was to inherit a couple thousands euros when I’d hit 18 but that, was graciously ‘taken care of’ by my uncle, officially to pay for an expensive school he never sent me to. The rest of my father’s money went to Auguste so he’s more comfortable and was able to pay for college and all and now have a good job. And of course I don’t need to explain to you that instable mentally ill people don’t get good well-paying jobs ?”

Nicaise looked him curiously.

“So you really are poor ? It wasn’t just an act to try to control me ?”

Laurent laughed again.

“I couldn’t control you even if I wanted to Nicaise, so I never even tried and made peace with it. But I have limits and my wallet is one of them. That’s just a sad truth you had to learn.”

“Why not ask Auguste for money then ? In a way it’s rightfully yours.”

Laurent sighed.

“My relationship with Auguste is… complicated. He would take that as an opportunity to control my ‘impulsive behaviors’ and would put conditions on a financial help. It’s already complicated, I didn’t want that to add onto it. I’d rather be independant. And I feel better about what I have because I know I got the money for it by myself. Plus, I don’t want any of my father’s money. The guy never liked me and I don’t want to owe him anything.”

“So it’s about pride and spite,” said Nicaise with a smirk.

“A bit, yeah,” admitted Laurent. “But I can pull it off. I’m not eating ramen noodles every meal and I have money to buy you clothes and fucking conditionner so I guess I’m not that bad of an option for you, am I ?”

Nicaise pouted.

“Or you could take a sugar daddy and prevent both of us the humiliation of going to thrift stores…”

Laurent felt his face hardened, and Nicaise stopped talking immediately.

Forcing his breath out, Laurent tried for light conversation, Nicaise probably understood the limit he had passed already.

“Don’t speak ill of the thrift shops, Nicaise. Nowhere else can you find 70’s suits with ananas and bananas on it !”

On this he stood and indicated the the curtains.

Go remove that, I’ll come back with more stuff.

As he saw Nicaise was about to whine again he added.

“Fine. Let’s make a deal. If you try on everything I bring you and accept to buy the minimum for you to be comfortable, then I’ll let you pick one thing, the most ridiculous thing you can find, and not only will I try it and buy it if it fits me, but I’ll wear it at home too.”

Nicaise looked at him, stunned.

“Do we have a deal ?” Laurent asked.

Grinning from ear to ear, Nicaise nodded frantically.

Well, at least that hold a promise of good fun.

Constituting the bone structure of a wardrobe for a teenager proved to be more of a brain-wreck than expected ! Nicaise would still grow but that wasn’t a good enough reason to make him wear things two sizes too big. Laurent wanted him to feel good and confident in his clothes. Not poor and ridiculous… And it was hard to buy something for someone who had nothing. What first ? What is more important ?

Pulling out informations on what he really owned from Nicaise was a hard part too.

He was probably ashamed of not having much and it was making it harder for Laurent.

After two hours and a half, they finally exited the store with big bags of cloth and pushed them in the back of the car.

Not in any other mood than hungry/tired, Laurent directed them both to a bakery in the complex near the shop to grab a sandwich and eat it inside.

They also both took a sweet dessert because who were they kidding ? And they deserved that sugar.

Nicaise took a ridiculous pink frosted eclair of some sort. More of a distant cousin.

And Laurent settled on what was still a guilty pleasure of him and took an apricot croissant filled with custard. Yes, the baker’s flan did look good, but since he had to choose…

Feeling full and rested from the lunch break, Laurent allowed himself a few minutes of distantly listening to Nicaise’s ranting and watched out of the window.

The leaves had started to fall a few weeks before, and now every street was covered in a rich copper blanket. He loved autumn…

“Laurent ! You’re not listening !” Nicaise shouted after kicking his shin.

“Hey !” said Laurent, indigned.

He considered lying, but frankly who would he fool, and lying was not the good tactic when faced to no-bullshit-Nicaise.

“No I wasn’t listening. Are you finished ? We still need to buy you shoes and stuff for Charlie.”

Nicaise mumbled something but quickly stuffed the remaining half of his eclair in his mouth, rolled the papers into a ball and gloriously threw it into the open garbage can at the other side of the room.

Laurent rolled his eyes.

They only got home three long hours after that.

Who would have known Nicaise to be such a fashionista on fucking shoes ? Well Laurent should have expected it but…

Of course Charlie was cute and all and Laurent liked her. But, as he put the frozen dead mice into his freezer, he couldn’t help but wishing for a way to make her follow a vegetarian diet…

He felt like the risks of nightmares were increased if he knew he had a bag of corpses in his freezer, even of mice.

Nicaise, of course, was no help in putting the very much urgent fresh produces away in the fridge, and was already unwrapping every clothes and shoe box they had bought that day, cutting all the tags.

Well… Laurent hoped nothing would have to be returned because he couldn’t get a refund without tags…

Discreetly, he took them away and stocked them in a drawer rather than throwing them out. One could hope…

Finishing to store the groceries quickly, Laurent stopped Nicaise before he started to store his clothes in the drawers in his room.

“Not so fast ! Those are still full of the factory’s chemicals. Believe me or not, but you’ll prefer we wash all of that before you wear them for a full day.”

Nicaise’s shoulders sagged down.

“Oh come on Laurent !” he said dramatically. “They are fine, they are new, they are clean ! Just let me deal with it !”

Laurent shook his head.

“No. It’s only a matter of hours and it’s not negociable.”

He went to his own dressing to pick his laundry basket and shoved it in Nicaise’s arms.

“Fill that up with everything except the shoes and then come with me,” Laurent said firmly.

Teaching Nicaise to do laundry was overall a pleasant experience. As all kids naturally, Nicaise was thirsty of new knowledge even as mundane as laundry washing, as much as he tried to hide it. And it was independance and autonomy he was gifting the teenager. As well as a part of his home and his love for it.

Nicaise could have been a brat and decided the task was beneath him, but he didn’t and it was a nice moment.

Of course Laurent didn’t just gave strict instructions and follow them or I’ll kill you. He explained why that amount of detergent, and what cycles use in which cases, so Nicaise could actually start doing it by himself and wouldn’t make mistakes improvising when Laurent wasn’t there.

The last thing Laurent needed was a hate letter from the building’s owner about foam inondation caused by Nicaise pouring too much detergent ‘because it was much more dirty this time !’

As Nicaise looked like he was about to stay there for the whole cycle, fascinated by the circling through the window, Laurent took him gently by the hand, bringing him back upstairs.

Decided not to waste the productive positive energy they were both on, Laurent proceeded on showing Nicaise where to find the cleaning products, what they were for, what to do in emergency cases like inondation or fire, how to check on the system in the case of an electricity cut-off, where to find the pocket lamp.

He also made a list of important numbers to call. Like the firemen or the hospital, doodling a basic fire or green cross instead of writing words Nicaise couldn’t read.

The numbers were easier, he just had to recopy them on the phone’s pad. No need to read for that.

Strucked by an idea, he also made Nicaise learn by heart Auguste’s address.

‘Just in case’ his anxiety told him.

Then he let Nicaise put away his toiletries in the bathroom and the candles and others in his room.

He seemed more happy, and for that Laurent was grateful.

They had just brought back the laundry fresh from the dryer, and Nicaise was joyously storing it in his bedroom, when the doorbell ringed.

Laurent froze.

He was expecting that visit. Dreading it, was more accurate.

It had been days since Nicaise left his uncle’s den. Maybe even more than what Laurent was aware.

Really it was only a matter of time before the man sent his goons there to ‘teach him not to stole his toys’.

Fear installed itself deep in Laurent’s guts, and slowly he put a finger on his lips to silence Nicaise and went to look out from the eye-hole. Of course the goons would hide it, but it was worth a try.

He unwound in surprise as he watched the other side.

It was no goon. It was…

“Damen,” Laurent exclaimed, opening the door widely, fast.

The man had still a finger on the ringbell, about to push again when Laurent opened.

Seeing Damen there was so… off.

Laurent had gotten used of seeing him at work, but of course Damen knew his adress, he did come here once…

“What are you doing here… ?” Laurent started.

He just couldn’t wrap his head around it, the mixing of two different worlds, two different lives. Damen was intruding in his time home with Nicaise and Laurent didn’t know what he was supposed to do.

Damen was already speaking in a hurry, like he was apologizing for existing.

“I’m sorry, I know I shouldn’t have come here. If you want me to leave I will, I promise ! I just… I wanted to talk to you !”

Laurent was still stunned in front of the door, and didn’t know what to say.

Behind him he heard a shuffle of slipper-wearing-feet.

“Who is that ?” asked Nicaise.

Of course… Laurent closed his eyes and resisted the urge to press his fingers on their corners.

He shifted slightly to free the entry, silently inviting Damen in.

Damen’s smile from that was bigger than what Laurent remembered. He missed it…

“Nicaise, this is Damen, Damianos,” Laurent said with a vague gesture toward Damen.

“Damen, this is Nicaise, my roomate,” he said, looking Damen straight in the eyes, as if daring him to prove him wrong.

Damen looked smaller then, like he wanted to hide away.

Hard when you were more than two meters tall…

“Damen, huh ?” said Nicaise smugly beside them. “Is he who I think he is ?”

THIS. This really was not a conversation Laurent wanted to have.

He was about to try to evade it when he saw Damen’s face going paler, his eyes straight on the couch behind Laurent.

Laurent turned his head to see what startled him and…

“Ah. And this is my snake, Charlie. Calm down. I already fed her. She won’t attack you unless you piss her off.”

Next to him, Nicaise started to laugh, no doubt because of the ‘just like us’ Laurent imagined as well.

Laurent sighed. The situation felt stuck.

Shaking his head, he grabbed his keys and coat and slipped in his shoes.

Grabbing Damen’s hand, he pulled him out of the appartment.

“Come,” Laurent said firmly. “We’ll talk outside.”

He only heard an indignant “spoilsport !” from Nicaise before the door shut down behind them, and Damen obediently followed his lead out of the building.

There, Laurent let go of his hand and turned to him.

“So,” he said. “What did you wanted to talk about ?”

Damen looked nervous, a bit like a high-schooler. At any point Laurent expected him to twist his fingers together.

“I know you will probably say no and I promise I will stop asking after that, but I have to ask. If you… If you’d like to try… with me ? I know I probably reacted like an asshole when you told me you’re bipolar, but I didn’t know what to say and I’m not sure I know it better now but… I did some researches and – oh god that sounds awful – I think I understand better now what that means and I want to try to be with you. I mean… I want you. And if you don’t want me because you think that it’s too much of an osbtacle to break through, I’m here to say that… I want to try.”

He let out the last words with obvious relief, happy to have managed to get them out.

Laurent blinked. He didn’t know what to answer.

Of course he had never been in that situation, but it was not a situation he ever thought he’d had to plan for either.

He just… didn’t know what to do with it.

Damen was there because he wanted to have a relationship with him, despite his illness ? Was he that good of a fuck ?

“Do you want me too ?” asked Damen softly after a moment.

Laurent opened and closed his mouth several times like a fish.

“Damen… Do you have any idea what it is to be with someone with a mental illness ?” he said. “I warned you for a good reason. Like… saying it’s no cup of tea is an understatement. I would hurt you. And sometimes you’ll want to scream at me and maybe even want to help and you won’t be able to and it’s… it’s hell. I can’t put you through this.”

Damen raised his hands to stop him.

“I know !” he said quickly. “I know. I went on forums and I read what bipolar people said about it, and what people who lived with them said too and I think I have a general grasp on it. But… I think. No. I decided, that it was worth it. You were worth it.”

Laurent was stunned in surprise.

That really wasn’t what he expected when he avoided Damen all that time.

Trying to gather his thoughts, he sighed deeply and turned to the street.

“Let’s walk, shall we ?”

Damen nodded, patient as always.

They walked for a while, in silence as Laurent tried to come up with what he wanted to say, what he wanted to do.

They were nearing the old city when he finally talked.

“I don’t know what to do, how to make it work. I never were in that situation before. I don’t remember anyone choosing me… despite it. I never had to build a relationship from scratch like that. I don’t know if I’m capable of doing it.”

Damen smiled.

“Well the good thing is, a relationship is built by two. Maybe I can help fill the blanks where you struggle, and you could teach me what to do and not to do ?”

Laurent smile weekly.

That was scary…

“It really is hard, you know, this situation as a whole. Knowing what I push on the people around me. Knowing that the ones who stay only do it because they don’t have a choice.”

He turned to look at Damen fully.

“And I don’t really plan to completly destroy my own heart so if this isn’t working I’d rather know quickly…”

Damen smile brightly, his dimple showing.

“That means you’d be ready to give it a try ?”

Laurent sighed again.

“I guess…”

Damen’s smile widened, impossibly.

Without a work, he lightly touched Laurent’s hand, an offering.

As Laurent didn’t pull his hand away, he interlaced their fingers.

Laurent forced his body to relax, slowly, as they continued to walk.

Laurent was trying to make peace with the new truth : he was working on having a long term relationship with someone that wasn’t his brother or Nicaise.

They were walking along the river, now, the night falling around them.

“When did you know ?” asked Damen softly after a moment.

Laurent shrugged.

“A few years ago. At the hospital.”

He shivered at the memory.

“It was hard on my brother,” he said sadly. “A bit more, and you’d thought it happened to him, not to me. When the diagnosis fell, he showed so much stress and needed me to tell him everything. Everything he was supposed to do, everything that meant, how it was affecting me, what to look for. A lot were disguised ‘how will that affect me ?’.”

He shurgged. “I didn’t have all the answers, of course. The fact that I was living it didn’t meant I understood it. I know it was stressful for him. It’s just… I wish it had been a bit more about me. A selfish wish.”

He stopped and turned to the water, craddling his elbows on the stone.

“And I know it’s paranoia and all, but sometimes I really feel like he only thinks of me as a crazy person. Parts of me became symptoms in his head. He looks at everything in my life as things he has to fix for me, all my ‘extreme’ behaviors have to get under his control. I took distance from him because I hated beeing seen as my disease. I hated his worry and his control over the passion and joy that for him were too ‘extreme’, and him trying to force me out of depression as if it was just a choice to make.”

He shivered. It was a cold night to stay outside talking.

Damen took one of his hand in his.

“I can’t say I understand,” said Damen after a while. “I don’t think I can understand a situation so personnal without actually living it. But I think I understand a bit more. What you don’t want in a relationship, maybe.”

Laurent looked deep in his eyes.

“I’m still a person, Damen. I’m complicated and I will admit it. But everyone is different and complicated in their own way so I just want the same treatment as everyone else : I want people to look at me like a person. Not like a disease. Not like a madman with foam in the corner of the lips, ready to eat their children. That’s why very few people know I’m bipolar, and that’s why even less people are allowed to share my life. Nicaise is one of them. Auguste is like… half on the list. I trust him, and we’re working toward each others, but some days it’s not comfortable being with him so I take distance.”

He looked straight ahead again, watching the streetlight shine on the calm water.

He felt Damen’s light touch on his back, gently asking.

He didn’t push him away, and soon Damen’s arm was around his waist.

“And Nicaise ?” Damen’s voice pull him out of his reverie.

Laurent twisted his neck to look at him, not understanding.

“Mmmh ?” he said.

“What does Nicaise does, how does he react, that is good ?”

“Oh !” said Laurent. He shrugged.

“I don’t know, it’s just… easier. I think that what matters is that he’s careful. We both have weird narrow boundaries that we can’t always explain, so he doesn’t push when he feels something is off and I react badly, and I don’t push in turn when there is something bothering him. If there is something that needs to go out, we usually feel it and try to talk of it to the other, but often we just let the other in peace. It’s sometimes awkward because we fear that a tiny thing can set the other off, but often it won’t and it comes back to the normal. We just try to do what’s most natural for us, even if neither is particularly good at human connections. He cares. I think that’s the core of it.”

Damen pulled him tighter against him, and placed a gentle kiss on Laurent’s temple.

It felt nice. In a new way.

This was not the kind of intimacy he was used to have with anyone. Nicaise or Auguste would be the closest, but Nicaise still had issues with touches and he was no longer Auguste’s baby brother in need of comfort during storms.

Auguste somehow stopped touching after learning what their uncle did to Laurent. He was afraid of bringing bad memories, probably.

Maybe it was for the best.

But that ? That felt nice, thought Laurent, cuddling closer to the warm, giant muscled body of Damen.

After a while, he elbowed Damen’s gently.

“Your turn,” he said.

Damen hummed in interrogation.

“I’ve told you something personnal and private on myself, now it’s your turn. Tell me your dirty secrets, Damianos !” said Laurent.

Damen laughed at that, his head thrown back and open.

“All I can tell you now is I’m hungry !”

Laurent pouted. That was a lame way to avoid a question.

But he was hungry too so he didn’t insist.

“What do you say we find ourself a place to eat ?” said Damen.

Laurent nodded once. It was cold. He wanted to eat.

Make it simple.

They walked back to the center of the town, most likely to host restaurants.

After a while, Damen stopped in front of a very expensive looking restaurant, and slowly moved toward the entry.

“Here ? My treat.”

Laurent stopped him with a hand on his forearm.

“What ?” Damen said with surprise when he saw Laurent wasn’t following.

“Tonight is for honesty, right ?”

Damen looked even more surprised, his eyes looking more and more like cup saucers.

“Then no.”

Damen let out a little “oh” then rubbed a hand on the back of his neck.

“I thought you’d like to eat in a fancy restaurant,” he said.

Laurent shook his head.

“Well no I don’t want to. The food is probably great and all, but I wouldn’t feel comfortable there. Underdressed, like I don’t belong. I’m not in the upper middle class, Damen. I live off unstable jobs and I have a nice appartment and a teenager with luxury tastes to take care of. I’m poor.”

He inclined his chin to indicate the restaurant.

“Going there ? Would only remind me of that. It would stress me, and depress me. And I don’t want to be ashamed of my wallet. More people are poor like me than mostly rich like you. And I’m not fucking cinderella. I’d feel like shit in expensive situations, so if you really want to make me happy, I want you to reach through the gap. I can’t raise my money level to you, so I’m kindly asking now, before it becomes frankly uncomfortable, to lower your life standards toward mine, just when we’re doing something together. Is that possible ?”

Damen looked strucked. He probably never thought about it like that.

Laurent sighed.

He grabbed Damen by the arm and lead him away.

“Come on,” he said softly. “Let’s go grab some falafels or something. It’s a small town so I’m not sure there are but it’s worth a try.”

Rather than wasting hours looking for a place by foot, Laurent runned a search on his phone.

There was ONE restaurant in all the city offering falafels.

Like. A dozen options for burgers, fiften kebab places. But only one offering falafels as a dark corner of their menus. This was freaking insane.

And of course it wasn’t open on saturdays… What kind of restaurant is closed on saturdays ?

So they settled on indian instead.

“This is too late to ask but… wouldn’t have you preferred a greek restaurant instead ? You’re from Greece, right ?”

Damen smiled.

“I was born there, yes,” he said. “But I can count on one hand the times I actually ate greek food. My father moved, with Kastor and I, right after I was born. He needed a fresh start after my mother’s death, so he came here. Apparently the cooking person in the family was my mother, because my father is barely able to do something edible. So traditionnal complex recipes… Too hard for him. We always had healthy and plenty to eat, no worries. But it was almost never him that had cooked it.”

Silence stretched after that, barely interrupted by a soft “oh” from Laurent.

They ate in silence for a while, Damen didn’t seem to mind.

“So,” said Laurent after a spoonful of curry, “that’s true then. Kastor is your brother ?”

Damen swallowed his own food, and nodded.

“My half-brother. My dad got him before me.”

“Oh,” said Laurent again. “And you are… close ?”

Kastor was a fucking asshole. He couldn’t imagine having to put up with his bullshit just because he was part of Damen’s life.

Damen made a strained face.

Ouh. Difficult subject. Laurent was walking on thin ice.

“We were,” admitted Damen. “But not anymore.”

Obviously debating on wether or not to continue, Damen avoided his eyes

“A few months ago, like a little over a year, I found him fucking my now ex-girlfriend so, since, it’s a bit cold between us.”

Laurent widen his eyes. Wow. He didn’t expected that plot twist.

“I see,” he said diplomatically.

Damn, Kastor really was an asshole, even to his own brother.

“Yeah,” continued Damen. “And now they’re together and it’s just… so wrong and uncomfortable.”

Laurent let a moment pass, pondering if his next question was or not a good idea.

“Forgive me for asking,” he finally said, “but why are you working for him if he’s such as asshole ? I mean… I know why I work here, and that’s because I have no other choice, but you… you probably have a lot of other choices.”

Damen sighed, looking at him sadly.

“It’s not Kastor’s enterprise. It’s my dad’s. It’s his life’s work and I can’t let it die. He’s… he’s in a coma. It’s been several months now but I guess I’m still… waiting for him to wake up and, I don’t know, take back the control as he always does and fix everything. I don’t want to let my father’s enterprise being destroyed by Kastor, I want to keep it alive, that way, for when he wakes up. That means putting up with his bullshit and bad practices to limits the breaks. Now that I say it, it sounds pretty lame…”

Yeah. Yeah it did. But Laurent didn’t want to say that out loud.

“And… you think that’s what your father would want ? You saving the furniture while Kastor destroys everything by being a bad boss and a bad manager ?”

Damen sighed again.

“In my father’s testament, he says he wants the enterprise to go to me after his death. But… he’s not dead and Kastor is the oldest and… he wanted to lead and act like he owns the place and I’m just… I want my father to wake up. I just want him to wake up and take back the enterprise. I’m not hungry for the place. All I care about right now is waiting for my dad to wake up…”

Laurent smiled softly.

“You’re stuck…” he said.

“Yeah, I guess,” said Damen.

Laurent sighed. That was a mess. But who was he to judge human messes ?

“I understand,” he said. “I think your father would be sad to see you stuck like that, he would want you to live and move on, but I understand.”

Damen smiled then, looking relieved.

After they left the restaurant, they continued walking and talking, going further in intimacy than Laurent remember going, and it was a bit scary, but in the evening, wrapped in secrecy, it just felt right…

When they finally came back to Laurent’s appartment, drenched from a sudden rain, Damen awkwardly moved to go back to his car and his own home, but Laurent softly took him by the hand and guided him silently to his bedroom, quiet as to not wake Nicaise up.

They stripped down, Damen keeping only his boxers, and Laurent putting on a pajama t-shirt.

Laurent was tired and Damen looked tired too. And Nicaise was asleep just a wall away and… sex didn’t feel right. So he cuddled against Damen’s side in the bed and Damen didn’t ask for more.

A force 5 tornado entered the room, disturbing all in its way and waking them both.

Laurent could tell it by the change in Damen’s respiration beneath him.

But they both stubbornly kept their eyes closed, not moving.

“Laurent,” whispered Damen.

Laurent hummed softly.

“Your roomate is annoying me.”

Laurent settled his head further in Damen’s chest, nuzzling lightly in the soft hair.

“I know,” he answered. “I’m starting to regret giving him his key.”

“I heard that !” he heard Nicaise shout from the kitchen.

Laurent smiled playfully.

“Come eat breakfast or I come into your bed too !” Nicaise screamed.

“If it’s to sleep, you’re more than welcome…” Damen grumbled.

That made Laurent laugh.

“Threats won’t work Nicaise,” Laurent shouted back. “If you want us up you’ll need to give us a good reason !”

“A very good reason,” he mumbled to himself after a pause.

Damen tightened his arms around him.

“Aren’t we sunday ?” Damen asked sleepily, on the verge of drifting again.

“I seem to recall that, yes,” Laurent said in the same tone.

“Well,” said Damen, “Nicaise doesn’t seem to recall that. What ? Did you promise him to go to Disneyland or something ?”

Laurent pinched him between the ribs. It only made him laugh more to his own joke.

Nicaise spoke from the doorstep. “I wouldn’t say no to Disneyland. In fact, that’s a great idea for today !”

At that, Laurent raised himself on an elbow and slapped Damen, who was by then laughing maniacally, hard on the top of the head. “It is all your fault !!!”

How things happened after that Laurent couldn’t recall exactly. But they all ended up in a big pillow fight in Laurent’s bed, all laughing so hard they had to put down the pillows down to catch their breath.

If you talked to the Laurent from only a few years back, he would never believe he’s get to live that one day. Happiness. Love. Family. The one he created, not the one that was a burden.

After a few minutes of laying breathless, all tangled up together, Damen slapped Laurent gently on the asscheek. ‘How dare he ??’ would be Laurent’s natural reaction, of course. But the mix of exhaustion and exhilaration was too strong for him to even react at all.

“Come on. Get up. Rise and shine, sweetheart.”

Laurent could only gave him back a painful moan. It was too early to get up on a sunday. He didn’t know what time it was but it was too early.

“You don’t get to complain. You should have thought of that before fucking all night long,” said Nicaise.

If only…

“We didn’t fuck all night,” answered Laurent in a tired and stragely crooked voice.

“What ? Gonna tell me you slept too ?” Nicaise said sarcastically.

Laurent smiled. If only !

“We were just out late and it rained and we walked too much and I’m tired. No fucking.”

Laurent gave up the fight and pushed on his arms to get up.

“I want coffee,” he grumbled before going to the bathroom.

When he exited, he put some clothes on and made for the kitchen. The other two were already sat at the table, sharing coffee and cereal bowls. There was brioche and jam too, and Laurent was thankful that Nicaise made him buy it.

Damen and Nicaise were chatting excitedly, and Laurent didn’t listen, nursing a mug of coffee, nestled on his chair.

“So,” said Nicaise with a big smile, turning to him. “Disneyland ?”

Laurent shook his head, blowing on his too-hot coffee.

“We’re not going to Disneyland. It’s a four-hours drive, it’s crazy expensive for no reason except that Disney is always hungrier and preying on its fans, and only the parking for the day would ruin us.”

Nicaise deflated, looking disappointed at Laurent.

“You really are a killjoy, aren’t you ?”

Laurent smiled sadly.

“I can take you to a park, but not Disneyland. That’s what we call a compromise, you brat.”

Nicaise’s face lighten up once again, even if he suppressed a smile.

“Pff. Again one of your cheap stuff I’m sure. Other kids go to Disneyland.”

Laurent looked him with a bitch face.

“You should give up that attitude because you’re not going to succeed in guilting me into going.”

He sipped his coffee again, noticing Nicaise’s smile at the corner of his lips.

Damen had stayed silent during the exchange, and was now looking at Laurent in a puzzled way.

Laurent took his phone on his pocket and started to search for an amusement park closer to their place.

There was one with chipmunks as mascotts. Looked cheap, indead.

But, he noticed as he was scrolling on the page, it had the big classics. Water attractions, roller coaster, a magic show, pedal boats, junk food, and a lot of adrenaline filled stuff. And some sort of spider web for kids to climb on. Perfect to evacuate the energy filling a young body.

There was, of course, a park in the town, but it was plant-based and if Laurent liked it, it was more interresting and scholar than pure plastic fun.

He showed the screen to Nicaise.

“Here. We’re going there,” he said, chewing on brioche.

Nicaise seized the phone to scroll through the pictures, and smiled from ear to ear.

“And maybe next time we’ll go to that big medieval park an hour and a half away. I went there as a kid, two times, it’s nice.”

But for now, yellow and red plastic and greasy fast food was the goal, giving Nicaise the full park experience before doing something more interresting.

They prepared themselves quickly, Laurent handing a clean underwear to Damen, and laughed when the too-small fabric stretched painfully on Damen’s hips.

Damen’s eyes threw daggers his way.

In no time they were in Laurent’s car, the two big kids chanting in excitement.

Thankfully, the ride wasn’t that long, thought Laurent.

The cooler weather and the end of the season must have discouraged the families, and the queue to enter was blissfully short, and nothing was crowded. Laurent felt a wave of gratitude swallow him.

Of course the overgrown kids wanted the rollercoaster first, and Laurent had to warn them that the water games would have to wait until the end of the day, as spending the october day wet was not a great idea.

After that, they stopped to eat hot dogs and continued their way, looking for the perfect attraction.

Soon, Damen and Laurent were walking side by side, Nicaise running ahead.

“You know what it reminds me ?” Damen whispered against his cheek. “Our first date.”

Laurent chucked. “How could this be a good memory to remind me when I saw you eat that disgusting thing, and that the image is forever burned into my mind ?”

He detached himself from Damen’s arm and walked faster to pass him, turning after a few seconds to add : “And it was not a date, Damen. We’re not a couple. I’m not your boyfriend, we don’t have cute memories.”

Laurent ran to catch up with Nicaise, to decide what attraction to do next.

With all the junk food he ate, it was most likely that Nicaise ended up sick at the end of the day, but Laurent reminded himself that he was not his father, nor his big brother, and that if he offered shelter and stability, it was definitely not his responsibility to avoid every mistake and life choice the teen made. It was Nicaise’s life to live, and he had his share of limited freedom in his life. It was time to let him decide to fuck up.

After hours and hours of extremes and fun and exhilarating moments, Laurent felt that he had reached his limits. His social batteries were definitely out of order now, and he felt like he had nothing left to give.

He came quietly to Nicaise’s side.

“I want to go home, now. Are you ok with that ?” he asked softly.

Nicaise looked up, apparently about to tease him or straight insult his cowardness or lack of stamina, but, seeing Laurent’s face, swallowed down his remark.

“Yeah I’m fine with that,” he said seriously.

It was always so amazing to see this serious expression on a child’s face. Nicaise was a study in contrast and unexpected, and Laurent felt lucky to have his trust.

“Thank you…” he mouthed as Nicaise moved to announce their return to Damen.

Damen had been… very calm and understanding all day. That was nice. Following and showing enthusiasm, without pushing or asking for anything for himself. Looking back, Laurent knew it was something he ought to be grateful for, and made a mental note to thank him for it. Later. If his pride and desire to avoid any awkward situation let him do it.

Unlikely. But he would try.

And then again, wordlessly, Damen understood Laurent’s exhaustion, even if he probably was tired too from the short night and day of running everywhere, and took the wheel. Laurent was left to drift off in the backseat, watching the countryside from his window, blissfully quiet and unbothered.

He was truly exhausted.

That was why he didn’t even try to cook or eat anything when they came back to the appartment, and why, when they settled in front of the TV, he nestled himself in Damen’s arms, his legs spread on Nicaise’s lap, and let himself fall slowly asleep.

His sleep was uneven and unstable, tho, and he kept coming back to the surface, barely awake, but not enough to justify open his burning eyes. Most of the times, it was to hear the jingles of a TV show, always louder, but once it was because of Damen’s soft voice, whispering, likely not to wake him up.

“Nicaise,” he said, “did Laurent had any serious relationship before me ?”

Under his legs, he felt Nicaise stiffen immediately. He forced down the natural response of his own body. The urge to close, the urge to fly from memories and a conversation he didn’t want to have. Silently, he blessed the chance of looking asleep giving him the perfect excuse to avoid it. He could only empathize with Nicaise who probably dreaded this conversation just as much as Laurent.

“Why ?” Nicaise asked stiffly.

Apparently Damen, always oblivious, didn’t notice the nerves in his voice.

“He… always insist on the fact that we’re not a couple, that I feel like he’s afraid of being in a serious relationship. I just… want to know if he does that with everyone, or just me, and if I should just step back and stop expecting it to change… one day. Was he like that with his past boyfriends, or girlfriends ?”

Nicaise sighed heavily. Probably relieved that the turn of the conversation didn’t lead on their shared abuse, but probably not knowing what to say.

It was not something they really talked about, to be honest.

Laurent didn’t like to talk about it, and Nicaise was still touchy about consensual sex and hook-ups for not grasping the concept.

“As far as I know, no, he didn’t have any boyfriend,” Nicaise said softly. “ I know he had a few hook-ups, and mostly during manic episodes. I also know he doesn’t remember much of what he does during those, and I don’t even know how he does feel about them. He never talks about it.”

He huffed.

“See, hypersexuality is one of the perks of manic episodes. And even with the iron control he can have sometimes, he never really bothered to control that. Maybe just not worth the fight when you can have a few good fucks and have something pleasurable from a shitty situation. They never came here. They never stayed in his life more than a few hours, and he forgot about them.”

“Oh,” was all Damen said. A lot of informations to take in.

Frankly that was a lot to take in even for Laurent. He somehow managed to never think more about it, and ignoring the whole subject even for himself. He never imagined Nicaise would actually put thought in it enough to… analyze it. He should have expected it though.

“As for the fear of commitment, the fact that you can’t understand is that it’s a matter of perspective. He fear it even with me, even if he does commit to his promises. See, he doesn’t want to live in a situation where someone expects a future, some kind of life building, of him. Try to imagine it. He knows he may die tomorrow, and don’t want to feel even more awful at that moment guilting himself on our expectations. He can’t promise a future, he can’t promise a tomorrow, and I think he doesn’t want to lead you to believe he owes you to live. In the end, suicide can seem selfish and he doesn’t want to have second-hand judgment and resentment if he doesn’t… make it tomorrow.”

There was an awful silence after that, and he felt Damen crisp under his back. The disgust, the anger he felt from him before he could control it, hurt more than anything Damen could have said.

Eventually he forced his muscles to relax again, tightening his grip on Laurent.

“I… I never thought about that,” he whispered.

“Of course you didn’t,” Nicaise said, oddly kind. “It’s not really something you can imagine without having lived it. It’s ok. It will just… take time I think. Time for him to realize he’s more stable now that you’re in his life, that he’s settling. That he’s getting better. That he can allow himself to have this good thing without feeling guilty.”

Laurent hated this conversation, and he hated this situation, not able to just leave without betraying himself and making it awkward and hurtful for them all. He wanted to leave, to fly away, to ignore all that has been said.

Thankfully, they didn’t say anything more after that, and Laurent probably managed to go back to sleep, for he only woke up long hours after, still sprawled on Damen’s chest, and stiff from the bad position.

Nicaise wasn’t there anymore.

Laurent hoped he had slept in his room, for once.

He groaned, his back aching.

He shook Damen’s knee to wake him up.

“Damen,” Laurent whispered. “we need to get up, and go to work.”

Damen only grumbled in half-sleep.

“It’s monday,” Laurent insisted, his voice louder now.

It finally woke him up, but even then Damen’s eyes were only open with difficulty.

There was a price to a week end of exhausting days and late night talks.

Laurent chuckled slightly. He checked his phone for the time : his biological clock didn’t betray him, they still had around 25 minutes in front of them before they had to leave.

Laurent put his hand on Damen’s knee again, getting up.

“I’m going to make some coffee if you want some,” he whispered. “And then I’m going to the shower. You can come but it’s only to wash, we only have like 20 minutes in total before leaving.”

Damen groaned, loudly. Apparently that was a lot of words for too early for him. How did he even managed to get to work in time usually ?

“Call in sick,” he grumbled, distantly.

“No, Damen,” said Laurent firmly. “We are not calling in sick just because you don’t want to wake up. You’re a grown up not a toddler.”

At that Damen’s eyes flipped open and he moaned loudly in indignation.

Laurent placed a finger on his lips. “Quiet !” he whispered. “If you wake up Nicaise when he finally slept in his bed I’ll kill you !”

That seemed to finally wake Damen all the way.

Laurent smirked and went to the kithen to launch coffee.

When he turned he saw Damen standing awkwardly in the middle of the kitchen, seemingly at lost of what to do.

For fuck’s sake. 20 minutes was not long enough to waste this way…

Laurent sighed softly and shook his head at his useless… whatever they were.

Crossing the kitchen, he gently took Damen’s hand and guided him to the bathroom.

If someone noticed them coming in at the same time, they didn’t say anything. Maybe they just didn’t notice at all.

Still there was a tiny knot of apprehension in Laurent’s chest that wouldn’t leave all morning.

And it didn’t help when Damen came to eat with him at lunchbreak. Subtelty was not this man’s forte.

“How did you manage to bring a homemade meal when this morning we barely had time for a coffee ?” Damen asked, looking incredulous.

Laurent sighed.

“It’s call meal prep, Damen. I always have stuff in the freezer.”

Mostly for days when he got up exactly three minutes before his departure time.

He looked at Damen’s sad sanwich, coming without any doubt from the breakroom’s vending machine. He felt just enough pity to ask, after another sigh, “You want some of mine ?”

Damen smile brightly before grabbing a spoon in the drawer behind him and diggind into Laurent’s lunch box.

True, his homemade curry did look better than the sandwich, but Laurent should have thought of Damen’s giant size and the giant appetite that came with it before offering. At least, he wasn’t that hungry that day…

What he really should have thought of was how this ridiculous scene made them look like a couple in front of several of his coworkers.

‘Shit,’ thought Laurent. That really was a bad idea.

He pushed back in his chair, his annoyance clear on his face as he pushed the box toward Damen.

Damen raised his head questionningly at the exasperated motion.

Laurent just nodded, not wanting to start a conversation that really didn’t belong there.

“Did you want something, apart from my food ?” Laurent asked, icily.

Damen clenched his teeth.

“I guess I forgot about the ‘not in public’ rule…”

He moved as to get up and leave.

“Stay,” said Laurent. “Now that you’re here, it would look even more suspicious if you leave. Let’s talk,” he added in a forcibly light tone.

Damen sit back in his place, facing Laurent once again.

“Ok…” he said, uncertain.

Laurent sighed, forcing himself to relax his muscles.

Really he wasn’t the one making this so difficult.

“Is there something you wanted to ask, when you came ?” Laurent asked softly, a peace offering.

Damen’s back straightened.

“Actually there is,” he said.

Uh-oh.

“It’s about Nicaise,” Damen continued.

Laurent made a face. He was 78% sure he didn’t want to have this conversation either.

Damen had stopped talking. Incredible, he would force Laurent to encourage him.

“Go on ! Get it out !” Laurent said, restless.

“Why didn’t we woke him up this morning ? Isn’t he supposed to go to highschool or… middle school or… whatever. To school ?”

Laurent sighed, and passed his hand on his face to try to recompose himself to face the discussion. Discussion he was now certain he didn’t want to have.

“He is not enlisten in any school, because he didn’t ask for it. I don’t force him to do anything in this style, and that is the reason why he trust me enough to come live with me. If I start to push things on him he will probably leave and I don’t want that. The message is still the same. He’s his own person and going to school, even if he would need a guarant to enlist and for the administrative part, will only be possible if it’s from his own decision.”

Damen only looked more confused. “I don’t understand…” he let out.

Laurent straightened in his seat, afirming what he meant.

“It may surprise you,” Laurent said. “But Nicaise and I aren’t biologically related. We met… in complicated circumstances and we became friends. That’s why I offered him a long time ago my house or wherever I’d be as a shelter, and eventually a home if he chose so. That doesn’t mean I have any right on his life. That doesn’t mean he’s my responsibility in the way that I have to enlist him for school. He never went to one, and it’s probably something he himself struggles to decide onto.”

Laurent sighed. He tried to ignore Damen’s shocked expression.

“I know that, naturally, any mind will go back to its hunger for learning. So I guess eventually he’ll settle more and will seek for a intellectual progression. Probably. Until then he’s safe, he’s fed, and he’s doing whatever the hell he wants. Maybe, indirectly, he learns in unconventionnal ways. Like… TV or youtube tutorials. I don’t know. I didn’t ask because I don’t want him to feel pressured. I don’t know what could trigger him so I avoid the subject. I… He doesn’t even know how to read, as far as I know. I wouldn’t know where to start, but it’s definitely not high school. If he comes to me asking to go to a scholar program, then we’ll look for options and he’ll choose what he wants. For the rest… well it’s his life. And even if he never wants to go to school, I’m sure there are loads of jobs where they don’t actually care about your scholar knowledge. Solving equations is only useful in theory…”

He was avoiding Damen’s gaze.

He knew he sounded irresponsible. Like a… bad parent or whatever. But his relationship with Nicaise was still fragile on so many levels he was always walking on thin ice, afraid of seeing the teenager go and never go back. He’d probably never forgive himself if he lost Nicaise…

After a very long silence that stretched between them, Laurent finally lost his battle and looked at Damen. He seemed lost in a very complicated equation.

“I’m… not sure I understand,” Damen said eventually. “But. Alright.”

Still unsure, Laurent nodded once, slowly.

“And I won’t ask again,” Damen added softly.

Laurent felt grateful for that, but said nothing else.

They stayed silent, Damen eating, Laurent lost in his thoughts, for the rest of the lunchbreak.

And maybe, maybe, their colleagues didn’t think much of it all. Laurent could only hope.

Friday couldn’t come sooner, it was really a shitty week.

Most weeks had been shitty lately at work.

Well it was since the beginning, of course, but it did seems to get worse. Somehow.

Laurent couldn’t wait for the weekend, only a few hours away, and its calm and free time and relaxation.

And sex, if he got his way.

He was starting to get very frustrated and the gorgeous man accross the lunch table was not helping. Got him thirsty. Laurent didn’t want to think of himself as a whore, but the reality was hard to ignore.

They hadn’t had sex that week. In the end they hadn’t had sex since a long time.

And while the cuddling and the kissing and the time spent together watching movies or even eating lunch together at work, was nice, Laurent wanted more.

And he didn’t see why he’d had to give it up.

“I’m coming to your place, tonight ?” he asked, innocently, between mouthfull of soup.

Damen was lost in his thoughts, but he shrugged and focused on him.

“Sure, why not ?” he said.

Laurent hummed.

It was quite evident that Damen was not really… there.

Maybe a problem, a personnal one. Maybe his asshole of a brother was giving his shit again.

This was not really the place to talk about it, though.

When he arrived, several hours later, to Damen’s appartment, he found the door unlocked and Damen sprawled on his bed, watching blankly to some soap shit on the TV.

Glorious.

Laurent sighed and went to lay down next to him on the bed.

He took the remote and stopped the soap.

Damen turned to him, looking empty.

“We’re not at work anymore,” said Laurent softly. “Will you tell me what’s wrong ?”

Damen looked pained at that.

He probably thought he was hiding it well. Like he was able to lie.

“I’m… It’s nothing,” he said finally.

Laurent hit him in the ribs with his elbow.

“Really ? You’re gonna play hard to get now ?”

Damen frowned.

“That’s not…” he started, the sighted, defeated.

“It’s my father’s birthday sunday. It’s taking a bigger toll on me than I thought. It’s… It’s gonna be the first year I won’t celebrate it with him and I know he has no use for a gift or a celebration but I feel awful for not giving him either of those. And I just… I just want him to be there to help me deal with the shit in my life.”

Laurent felt himself soften.

“You’re a grown-ass man, Damen. And if your father was here he’d tell you to get your shit together on your own.”

That made Damen smile.

“Yeah, probably,” he admitted.

Laurent stayed silent for a minute, looking for what to say.

“You should still go, and spend the day with him. Maybe he’ll hear you. A lot of comatose patients said they heard the outside, when they woke up. He may be one of those who can.”

Damen looked hopeless.

“You think ?” he asked quietly.

Laurent nodded, firm.

“Yes. He is a man with a lot of will. If he can, he’s listening.”

Damen smiled, even if it still hold a lot of despair.

“Maybe you could read to him too,” Laurent added. “Or something he like. Like music. Talk to him. Keep him updated with things he care about. Keep it positive, I’m not sure that’s the context to go cry on your own misery !”

He said the last words with a little-boy-will-you-stop-picking-fight-at-school look, and Damen laughed more honestly.

“You’re right,” he said.

“Of course I’m right. I’m always right,” said Laurent, faking haughtiness.

Looking at Damen again, he found him smiling.

He brushed his fingers in Damen’s soft curls, trying and of course failing to push them away from his forehead.

“How long has it been ?” he asked softly.

Damen swallowed, his adam’s apple bobbing with effort.

“Almost a year now…” he said quietly.

Damn that was too long to be a light coma. Even if the man ever woke up, it would take him months, maybe even years, to get back to a body that could live normally again.

Laurent smiled softly.

“Well then it’s nearly a year closer to when he’ll wake up.”

Damen didn’t even try to fake a smile.

He just pressed his head in Laurent’s side, a silent ask for comfort.

Laurent combed through his hair again, letting Damen press himself into him.

They stayed like that a long time.

“You’re hungry ?” asked Laurent finally. “You should eat. That would help.”

Damen whined.

“I know. But it does help.”

Damen raised his head, giving him a searching look.

Laurent didn’t ponder on it, instead getting up to go to the kitchen corner.

He opened the fridge and found it empty except for a jar of pickles and a bottle of mustard. The cupboards didn’t look that much better.

Damn. He was even more pathetic than Laurent in episodes.

“For someone who must eat a shit load for your size, you’re not very good at taking care of what you eat.”

He heard Damen laughed.

Well Damen was in no mood to go grocery shopping and frankly neither was Laurent.

He took a thai restaurant flyer off the fridge’s door and took out his phone, dialling the number.

Then he went back to sit on the bed, and wordlessly asked for Damen to show him what he wanted.

After they ordered over half the menu for them both, even if, to be honest, most of it was for Damen’s and his giant metabolism, they settled back and Laurent turned the TV back on, prepared to start the eternal issue of ‘what do you want to watch’ and ‘I don’t know, what do you want to watch ?’. But Damen fixed that quickly saying he really didn’t care so Laurent put one of his favorites movie instead.

Damen got up to answer the door for the delivery.

Laurent didn’t like answering doors and it was Damen’s appartment anyway.

Plus Damen had money, when Laurent was poor. He paid.

They didn’t get much more done after that.

Damen didn’t seem to want to talk anymore, and Laurent was starting to get too tired to fight.

When he woke up the next morning, it was to Damen’s alarm and a grumpy Damen trying to shut it off without opening his eyes.

Who puts an alarm on a saturday ?

Seeing that Damen wasn’t going to get anywhere like that, Laurent reached over him to slide the screen and stopped the ringing.

As Damen was starting to show th signs of someone who was going to fall back asleep and only wake up several hours later when they’ll panic because they’re SO late, he decided to act. After all, he himself was awake, and it was Damen’s fault.

He straddled Damen’s back, sitting on his ass, and started teasing the skin under him.

Damen groaned, but didn’t open his eyes.

Laurent smiled. He was feeling playful.

He lowered himself to nib at Damen’s earlob.

Damen’s pierced earlobe.

Curious. He hadn’t noticed that before. He wondered what Damen looked like with an earring, and the thought only made him aroused.

He smiled, and leaned again to whisper in Damen’s ear.

“Rise and shine, sweetheart. You’re going to get late.”

Damen mumbled under him.

Laurent shook him by the shoulders.

“If you have nothing to do, why put an alarm ? If you woke me up for nothing I’m going to kill you so you’d better be conscious for that too.”

Only then did Damen opened his eyes, looking a tiny bit concerned.

“What are you saying ?”

Laurent chuckled, then took Damen’s phone, lighten up the screen, and showed it to him.

Damen’s eyes widened.

“Oh shit I’m gonna be late ! I completely forgot !”

As he moved to get up, Laurent moved off of him.

Damen then proceed to run in zigzag in the room, here to find some pants, there seemingly in research of the purpose of life, by the fridge looking for the reason he was there.

Like a chicken with its head cut off.

“I’m spending the day and night with friends, Nik, Pallas, Lazar, and probably others. You want to come ?”

Laurent made a face.

The day with testosterone guys who, at least for one, hated him, and that he didn’t knew ? Erk. No.

“Nah,” Laurent said, trying to stay light. “I have stuff to do today too.”

That was true. As ever, he had to work, and he had a snake to take care of, and probably chores waiting for him. That could have waited, but he didn’t say that to Damen.

Laurent himself gave up on the idea of lazing in bed if Damen wasn’t there to be with, especially considering how awkward it would be to stay in the place without the one with the keys to it, and got up to retrieve the too stiff clothes he discarded before finally settling to sleep the night before.

Damen was about to apologize for not having any breakfast food to offer, but Laurent shut him off with a kiss.

“I don’t care. I’m not that hungry after last night’s anyway.”

Damen smiled, his body relaxing on sight.

“Ok,” he breathed out.

Laurent smiled softly at him.

He was walking toward the door when he got an idea.

He went back to the bedside table, searching the drawers for what he knew was there.

When he found it, he seized the block vibrator and closed the drawer. Going back toward the door, he shown the stolen thing to its owner.

“For when I miss you,” he said, poised.

He pushed the vibrator deep into his bag and exited with his coat on his arm, leaving behind the sight of Damen’s jaw falling to the floor, smiling.

Laurent sighed as he put his coat back on.

That wasn’t really what he had in mind when he asked to come, the day before.

Well what he had in mind then was to come, actually.

He felt selfish for that train of thought. Damen was having a hard time. That was more important than libido.

When he arrived at his car and started the mental process of driving home, he realized he had a problem.

He had no lube at home. That dildo would not get up his ass without a good dose of lube and there was no way he was going to use cooking oil.

So yeah. He had to go buy some lube.

That was kinda awkward. He was never the one who had to go buy the lube and condom before. Either the guy was prepared, or he was left with a boner as Laurent left. That only happened twice. The guys probably still regretted it.

After going to a pharmacy to buy the lube, a different one than his usual because even if he wasn’t ashamed of his sexuality, that was still an awkward moment to have with the same woman that gave him his mood control pills every month, Laurent came back home to find the appartment empty and a note from Nicaise on the counter.

“I’m off all day and night, going to a club with the group, I probably won’t come back until sunday afternoon. I’d have invited you, of course, but let’s admit it you’re becoming a very boring killjoy introvert. So you’ve got the place all to yourself to fuck your boyfriend all you want. There’s still pizza in the fridge. N”

Laurent frowned.

Even Nicaise was expecting to have a richer sex life than what he actually had. This was becoming very frustrating.

Having the place all for himself was a nice thought to have, though.

Of course he loved Nicaise, and he didn’t mind his presence. And most times he’d rather see him there than elsewhere but…

He was indeed a very boring introvert and quiet alone time was appreciable from time to time…

Relieving Charlie from her glass prison, he wrapped her around his shoulders and went to heat up the leftover pizza Nicaise left him.

She had grown a bit since they got her, and Laurent was liking her new heaviness on his neck. It was comforting, even from a cold-blooded animal.

Charlie seemed to like him too, as she nestled comfortably on his shoulders, hind her head underneath his hair.

Several times, he found himself the host of a little bundle of scales, when he was working at the table or watching something on the TV. His lap was basically becoming a cushion for the snake, but he couldn’t really say he minded it.

Charlie wanted his warmth. He liked the compagny, the easy contact he didn’t have to control or fear.

He felt Charlie’s tongue darting out against his neck.

“Yeah, I know. I smell like Damen. Like it ?”

He felt the tongue caressing him again.

“Yeah. Me too.”

He scratched lightly to the side of her neck, and she nestled closer in the crook of his neck. While the pizza heat up in the oven, Laurent make a turn of the appartment to see what was require to keep it a nice place to live in.

The bathroom could take a clean-up. Fridge and cupboard reasonnably full, so no need for groceries shopping, for what he was thankful.

He could go with a load or two of laundry, thanks to Nicaise’s fashionista lifestyle.

He could bake something. So that he would have a dessert to take with him everyday for lunch at work. And make soup for mostly the same reason.

He still had work to do.

He could clean the floor, too. That never hurt.

Charlie’s vivarium needed a clean-up, tho, and her comfort was the priority against his. After all, she didn’t choose to live here. She didn’t have to suffer just because he was lazy.

Chewing in the reheated pizza, he emptied his bag, his work files and computer going on the table, the toy and lube bottle discarded on his bed for later.

He started the laundry first, using the blissfully free two machines in the basement, and went back up to do the cleaning of the vivarium and bathroom. He also used that time to brush his teeth.

After putting the clothes in the dryer and having cleaned the floor too, he was living in a cleaner space and felt way better than when he came back. Everything felt better, more ready to get lived in.

It was like he wiped his mood at the same time as his floor.

He decided to keep in the reasonnable adult mood and settled himself for a three hours work session, with tea and cookies on the side.

He was having a good, comfortable time. It was nothing exciting. It was nothing fancy.

But it was nice and his and it did help.

After brainstorming for three hours on his most complicated cases and feeling his brain heating up dangerously, he was relieved to turn off his alarm and know he met his goal.

Gently, he placed Charlie back in her vivarium, where she curled up on a branch, falling back asleep instantly.

He went to retrieve his and Nicaise’s clothes, warm and dry and feeling like home.

He considered baking or cooking, then. He still had a long time before going to bed, after all. And wasting that time on the couch watching stupid tv show was not a very appealing idea.

He looked toward his bedroom.

Who was he kidding, after all ? He had been sexually frustrated for a while, now. And he was blissfully alone and could make all the noises he could want.

It was almost a ‘now or never’ situation.

He stripped down on his way to his bed, and settled comfortably on the covers.

He never really did this before.

He had sex with people. He was raped.

But masturbating alone ? Never.

The only time something other than fingers or cock entered him was with Damen, and it was this very same toy.

So he was… nervous ?

Yeah. Maybe a bit. Thankfully, he was also excited.

Laurent knew that he liked being fucked.

That was something he made peace with a while ago already.

So he knew that pushing a vibrator up his ass would, ultimately, made him come.

But was it all he wanted ?

He closed his eyes and started touching his own skin, his chest first. When he remembered he liked that very much, he caressed his neck too, a bit clumsily. That was not as light and nice as when he was kissed there, but it was still a button that turned him on a little more. He went back down again, his collarbones, the center of his chest.

His nipples, too, already a little hard.

He breathed out heavily, trying to calm down and get off the awkwardness. There was no manual. He could just do what felt good. He relieved the pressure from his fingers, giving his caress a more feather-light quality. He started to relax, and to breath more heavily, more slowly.

He kept his eyes closes, he didn’t wanted to be distracted by the outside world.

He was caressing his abdomen, then. But when he almost touched his half-hard cock, he withdrawn.

He didn’t want to jerk off like this.

He… He wanted to come untouched, like the other time. And, because of the other time, he knew he could.

Reforcing his control over his breathing, he let one of his hand wander, making soft circles on his abdomen, following the line of hair there. Then on his hip, and the side of his thigh. He went back in, toward the interior of his thigh, but still kept away from his cock.

With his other hand, he struggled to find the bottle of lube, hastily thrown there a few hours earlier.

When he finally seized it, his breath caught in his throat in anticipation, so he forced it back to normal again. That would be a slow process if he did that every time.

But it was not a problem. He had all the time he could want.

To be true, he wanted it to last. The longest he could. He wanted to bring himself over the edge and back down several times before finally jumping. He wanted it to last hours, even if that meant being exhausted after.

He opened the hard-new lube bottle cap, and squeeze a bit of it on his fingers.

It was cold and he knew he’d rather have it warm so he took his time, spreading it and massaging it between his fingers, waiting for them to be warm again.

Then, slowly, he reached between his legs and swiped his fingers in his crack, over his hole. He shivered in anticipation.

He didn’t wanted to mess this up. He wanted to make it good.

Biting his lip, he brought his clean hand to his chest again, rubbing slow circles over his nipples.

He thought about moaning, that maybe it would excite him more. But at that moment he felt that he would sound fake, and he didn’t like that idea.

Bringing back his fingers over his hole, he started to massage it, smearing lube everywhere.

He pushed a finger in, fighting the incomfort of his body rejecting the intrusion. He slowly withdrawn his finger and pushed it back, no more than two knuckles at first.

He went slowly. Didn’t rush it. He waited for his body to be completely accepting his finger before considering a second. When that one was in, he allowed himself to push a little deeper, getting his fingers almost all the way in, and crooked them, remembering the feeling of when Damen had done that.

He hit his prostate, and a wave of pleasure took him. He smiled. That was good.

He pushed and pull again and again, for a long moment, until he couldn’t fight anymore his body’s hunger for more. There he added a third finger, and spread them all three in. He arched up in the feeling, and smiled wider, biting his lip harder until he felt real pain from it.

When he added the fourth finger, his mouth opened to let out a choked sound of pleasure. Of the surprise of feeling that pleasure, more.

He puched them all in, the starting of his palm inside as well, and gasped.

Then he pulled it out, slowly, and pushed back in again.

He was already lost to it. To the act, the moment, the pleasure.

The awkwardness and shyness of the start were gone, replaced by a deep hunger.

Slowly, he pulled his hand completely out, and whined at the lost. He felt empty, and the time to get either his hand or the vibrator in felt an eternity too long.

He opened his eyes, then, to quicken his search for the black toy, not distracted with the decor as much as he feared.

He quickly seized it, and took a look at the flared base, looking for the commands.

There was only one button, and pushing once didn’t turn it on. Laurent pushed longer, and a soft vibration started to shake the whole of the dildo. Laurent sighted in relief.

He took the lube again, squeezing it generously on the head. This was no context where he wanted to be sparse on the lubricant.

Going back to lying on the bed, he took the vibrator with two hands, and placed the head of it against his rim. Already the vibrations there felt delicious.

But the toy was quite large and he was not that flexible for this position to be completely comfortable, and he didn’t want cramps fucking up the mood.

Sighing, he pushed off the bed, trying to place himself on all fours, and placed the toy back to his entrance. But using one hand behind himself unbalanced him and it wasn’t much better than on his back.

He frowned, trying to come up with the good idea. Leaning back on his knees, he left the hand holding the toy where it was.

The angle was better that way. He didn’t felt strained to reach his hole properly, and lowering himself with his thighs helped ease the movement so his wrist wouldn’t have to do all the work.

He hummed. Yeah. That way was good.

He closed his eyes again, and put his hand on the wall facing him for balance.

The toy was still vibrating softly, and Laurent felt the vibrations coming all the way inside him and shake him from the insides as he fucked himself on it.

He moaned then, and it definitely wasn’t fake that time.

He thrown his head back, holding on the feeling of the vibrator planted deep inside him up to the hilt, and let it there for a moment, relishing in the moment.

Slowly, he pushed up on his thighs, pulling the toy out at the same time, and took it almost all out, before pushing back in, hard.

He imagined he was being fucked on a big, thick cock, and a hard muscled chest against his back. With his eyes closed it was almost easy to imagine.

He moaned again.

He fucked himself on the vibrator, slowly, again and again, for long minutes. Or hours, maybe. He was losing the notion of time and it was delicious.

After a wrong movement he pushed again on the button, and feared he stopped it, but the vibration only intensified.

He let out a deep-throated moan. That felt so good !

Yeah, he definitely needed that.

When he started to be close, his body screaming at him to go faster to seek its release, he only slowed down more. It was torture. Delicious torture.

He was biting his bottom lip again, it would be so abused by the end of this… And he was smiling, genuinely, from the pleasure.

He continued to fuck himself on the vibrator, moaning to himself from time to time.

When he felt the release coming despite the excruciatingly slow rythym, he quickly removed the toy all together from his ass.

His cock was still trembling, so close to bursting even if it had not been touched and his ass was no longer stimulated.

His hand pressed harder on the wall, and he wished he had something to grip there.

It took his a considerable amount of time to get down from his high enough so he felt like he could start to fuck himself again without risking to come the second he was touched by the toy.

Slowly, he circled the end of it on his rim, gently massaging there, letting his body readapt to the vibrations, then pushed the vibrator back in, in one hard strong push.

He was moaning again.

Why had he never done this before ? He should have.

He started to fuck himself again, slowly, so so slowly.

He was smiling again, enjoying every second of this time all for himself.

His head was hanging next to his arm, his breathing shallow.

Wanting to test a theory, he pushed the button again, and yes, it did vibrate harder. His head snapped back, and he cried out, his body acting on instinct, his legs pushing up and down to fuck him on the toy.

He was moaning almost continuously by then, his jerks quickening, and he knew he was close again. Right before it was too late, he removed the toy again, putting it completely away to avoid any accidental stimulation from it.

Drenched, he collapsed on his knees against the wall.

His breath was coming short, and he was completely losing his mind. In his ear, he could still ear the buzzing of the vibrator, and that itself threatened to throw him on edge.

He was feeling so good.

He collapsed on his back, discarding the toy for a moment, trying to get down from his high again, aware that this time it would take even longer.

He closed his eyes.

He wanted to be kissed. He wanted the feeling of soft lips and wet tongue against his.

But there was noone to kiss, and his heart ached from the feeling of loss.

Pushing his hair off of his shoulder, he forced himself to calm down again, before tracing feather-light caresses on the side of his neck. Tentatively, he lightly touched his lips too, then more firmly when he realized he like the feeling.

He pushed a finger in, and caressed it with his tongue. Yeah. He liked that.

Breathing in and out slowly to climb down from his high, he continued slowly fucking his mouth with his finger, then his fingers, and lower them from time to time to brush wet traces over his chest, on his stone hard and painful nipples.

Slowly his breathing came back to normal, and he settled more fully in the bedding, as if to sleep.

But what a waste it would be to sleep then, he thought. Going back on his knees, pushing again on the muscles that started to be sore, he pushed the vibrating dildo back in in a strong quick push.

Immediatly, his head was thrown back from the intensity, the ends of his hair tickling the small of his back, and he let out a long, deep-throated moan.

He let his body fuck itself on instinct, going faster and faster. He pushed on the button once again, and the extreme vibration then forced a cry out of him.

This was so fucking good.

His lips was bleeding from his abusing teeth, and his jerks were becoming erratic, his body losing himself into a continuous fucking.

When he came it was hard and long, his seeds spilling all over his cushions and the wall, his knees giving out under him.

He collapsed, his hand instinctively going to stabilize him by his hip.

The vibrator was still deep inside him. And it felt like he was still coming, his orgasm not stopping but only getting more instense, more painful.

He cried out again.

He wanted to know.

He needed to know.

So he pushed the button again.

It didn’t intensify the vibration, but made it sparse, the buzzing constantly going on and off and Laurent moaned deeply. That was what he needed then.

To continue the pleasure without abusing himself on it.

He was feeling so good. So high and so relaxed.

He really should have done that sooner, he thought again, collapsing on his back on the destroyed bedding, the vibrator still softly buzzing rythmically in him.

He stayed like that a long time, catching his breath, his eyes still closed as he was soaking in the pleasure that was still coming from his abused prostate at the vibration.

He had lube and come everywhere, and soon he’ll want to wash it all off. He would need it intimately. But right then, he allowed himself this half state of rest and pleasure, almost drifting to sleep.

When he finally left his bed and rushed to the shower, bed sheets and vibrator discarded behind him, it was almost an hour later.

Of course, by then, night had fallen over the city.

Exciting the shower, Laurent dried his hair absent-mindly, pondering the option to change his bedsheet or not. He wasn’t completely sure he’d feel uncomfortable sleeping in them, still trapped in the last remnants of orgasmic haze.

But in the end he still decided to do it. Putting up a pajama bottom and soft t-shirt, he stripped down his bedding, wiped down properly the come sticking to the wall, and installed his other set of bedsheets. The washing of the old ones could wait until tomorrow.

In fact, everything else could wait for tomorrow, as he was drowsily falling asleep even upright. It was still early, but he had a full day, and spent a long amount of time having sex with himself and he was tired. Pleasantly so.

So he just grabbed a book and settled in his bed, reading at the soft light of his bedside lamp, until he fell asleep.

The next morning found him completely deeply rested, as he had not been in a very long time, and it made him smile softly.

He got up to go brush his teeth and hair, but it was sunday and he felt lazy so he decided to spend the day in his pajamas. Or maybe until Nicaise came back and gave him shit about it. But the teenager just spent the bigger part of the night partying until exhaustion, he wasn’t going to come back any time soon.

Maybe Laurent would allow himself to read again, this morning, before having to do his chores and cooking and all.

He was launching a tea when the doorbell rang.

Laurent tried – and failed – to push down the wave of excitement that went through his whole body. Was Damen coming today, against all odds ?

He went – too fast – to the door, opening it wide in an instant.

To be faced with Auguste, his hand up like he was about to knock.

Like he didn’t remember he rang already. Auguste.

Laurent was frozen in place. Auguste was frozen in place.

They weren’t going to get anywhere like this.

Laurent opted for casual. “What’s up ?”

He nailed it. He totally nailed it. He was the best at faking casual tone.

Auguste simultaneously : smiled, dropped his gaze on the floor, blushed, and put his hand back at his side. He probably wasn’t even aware of how many signals and messages his body language was sending.

Auguste. Dear old Auguste.

When he finally looked into Laurent’s eyes again, he asked softly “Am I disturbing ?”

Laurent wanted to roll his eyes. But he had promised himself to make an effort.

“It’s morning, I’m in my pajamas and you can hear the kettle whisteling. What do you think ?”

Auguste smiled more frankly at that. “I mean… you look like you expected someone else”

Good instinct, brother. I will never admit it.

Laurent schooled his own features, inviting Auguste him silently.

“Nobody was expected, Auguste, not even you, and yet here you are !”

But Auguste didn’t drop it. “But you still thought it was someone else at the door ! Who was that ?”

Laurent didn’t remember Auguste having that annoying little self-satisfied smile before. Maybe it was a sign they weren’t spending enough time together anymore.

Laurent slammed the door a little too violently to be natural, his lips upturned.

“I’m glad to see you too, Auguste ! How are you ?”

He heard Auguste laugh brightly from the kitchen where he went without prompting.

Maybe it was only Laurent that didn’t remember his brother well enough.

Apparently, Auguste wasn’t buying his tentatives at changing the subject.

Laurent went back to his kettle and tea leaves. “Want one ?” he asked, motionning to the mug. Auguste nodded, naturally, and didn’t say anything else.

After a few moments of preparing the teas – Auguste’s not as sweet as his own, of course, Auguste was one of those “purists” that only like tea when it was as bitter like a bad end to a good book – he finally acknowledged the question.

“He is not coming, because he told me he wouldn’t, but I thought maybe he managed and wanted to surprise me. He is irrelevant to our conversation. Really.”

Auguste hunched forward to snatch a cookie next to Laurent.

“What ?” he asked, his mouth full. “Afraid he’ll disappear if you talk about him ?”

Laurent turned abruptly to face him, his face twisted in displeasure.

“I don’t like you. I just remembered. Why do I even allow you here, again ?”

Auguste laughed again, unperturbed by the remark. “Come on ! You’re not dating a mythical creature ! Humans just don’t vanish in thin air.”

“We’re not… dating. We are not.” Laurent said, finding that he was struggling convincing even himself. He was probably looking pathetic.

Auguste smiled again.

“Oh. And how did you meet that guy you’re not dating ?”

Laurent sat heavily in the chair facing Auguste.

“At work…”

Auguste’s smile dimmed. “Oh.”

After a while of visibly looking for the ‘right words’.

“Don’t you think it could be dangerous to fuck a colleague ? I mean, if it went to sour you may have to quit and find another job.”

Laurent sighed.

“It’s not even the worse of it. He’s not just a colleague. He’s the owner’s son and the director’s brother.”

Auguste’s eyes widened comically.

“Fuck ! Laurent !” he said, scandalized.

Laurent raised his hands to stop him from giving a lecture.

“First, I didn’t know that when it started. Second, I tried to end it, he insisted that he wanted us to try to build something. And finally,” he said more calmly, “I start to think it wouldn’t be that bad if I lost that job.”

That was the wrong thing to say.

“Laurent please you can’t be serious ! You struggle every time to find a new job, and it’s getting harder and harder ! You can’t afford to lose every job you hav every time. You need stability to build a life, buy a house, grow up…”

Laurent started to feel annoyed.

“Well maybe being installed and buy a house and marry and have two and a half kids is your dream, but it’s not mine. And what matters for now, is that I’m doing a shitty job I’m underpaid for, mistreated and generally unhappy with. Would it kill you to hope better for me than that ?”

Auguste sighed dramatically.

“Laurent, you know that’s not what I mean…”

“Oh, do I ?” said Laurent icily.

Auguste let down his mug and shrugged.

“I’m sorry,” he said. “It was a bad start for this conversation, I’m sorry. Can we start over again ?”

Stiffly, Laurent nodded.

Auguste smiled softly at that.

“It’s been a while,” he said ‘innocently’. “What’s new in your life that you’d like me to know ?”

Laurent sighed, and decided to give a little effort toward his brother too.

“Well hum…” he said, thoughtfull. “I have a mostly permanent roomate, now. Nicaise. He’s living here and it’s becoming stable and that makes me happy. I think.”

Auguste made a closed face, his eyebrows furrowed, but didn’t commented.

“Hum. There is this… thing with Damen, the guy. And I’m not sure where this is going, what exactly we’re doing or if this is gonna work but… it’s the first time I spend more than a night with someone and it’s kinda new and kinda scary too.”

Auguste nodded, taking a sip.

“He knows you’re bipolar ?”

Laurent almost made a face at the bitter taste in his mouth. Of course, he cared more about the impact of Laurent’s illness on the people around him than any other aspect of it, really. More than the actual impact of the illess on Laurent. ‘Protect the poor fool my brother is praying on.’

That was not an argument Laurent wanted to have again.

“Yeah he knows. I told him in a way to make it drop it, but he insisted and kept up.”

Auguste raised an eyebrow, concerned.

“Is he… harrassing you ?”

Laurent let out a little laugh.

“No ! Of course not ! It’s just… I didn’t expected him to stick. But I’m glad he did. I like him. I like spending time with him.”

He smiled to press it deeper.

It was true. Laurent did like to spend time with Damen.

There was a lot to discuss, and a lot of things to work out, but it was worthy enough for Laurent to want to make that effort.

“And you ?” he asked after a pause. “Something you want me to know ?”

He thought he saw a blush on Auguste’s cheeks at that, but it disappeared quickly.

“Oh hum I’m fine. The work on the house is progressing. I’ll be able to actually use the second bathroom soon, and our… my bedroom is about to finally get transfered to the final one.”

Laurent smiled.

“Ah. You’re a ‘us’, now ?”

This time, there was a real blush on Auguste’s face, as he looked deep into his cup.

Apparently he was the one Laurent got that bad habit of looking in food for answers from…

“Yeah…” Auguste said shyly. Too shyly for a grown-ass man.

“Her name is Elinor,” he continued. “We’ve been together for… four months now ?”

Laurent smiled softly.

“Well, congratulations.”

That was what Auguste wanted. House. Wife. Kids in a while. Being ‘adult’.

Laurent was supposed to congratulate him on getting what he wanted, no ?

Who knew, maybe this Elinor was worthy of Laurent’s respect ?

Life could be full of surprises…

Even if, by the hour of Auguste’s admirative ranting about her that followed, it was unlikely.

When he saw Damen on monday, Laurent found himself going out of his usual paths and went directly to Damen’s office, thanksfully closed.

Guess that being the owner’s son gave you some priviledges. Laurent was stuck in his fucking cubicule.

“Hey,” he say softly, closing the door behind himself. “You’re feeling better ?”

Damen looked at him, as if not understanding what Laurent was talking about.

Then his face light up when he connected the dots.

“Oh, yes ! Thank you. I… I spent saturday with some friends and it helped. It distracted me and made me relax enough. You missed something, I’m sure you would have liked it. And I did went to the hospital on sunday. I talked to him and… that helped too. Thank you, for your advice. It means a lot to me.”

He said the last words with a sad smile. And Laurent returned it.

It was somehow awkward, off, between them. Not only that day, but for a while now.

Laurent was split between ‘if it’s not actually fun and nice, why bother trying to have a long term relationship’ and ‘what if it was one of those relationship trials you have to pass through to make it work and I should make efforts and fix it’. His inexperience in the area disturbed him.

He wished someone would told him what he was supposed to do.

Damen would be the best for that, of course, but it didn’t seem to be in the forseable future. And that was infuriating.

“It’s nothing,” he said finally, mostly to put an end to that uncomfortable conversation.

He left the office and went back to work on his own desk, acting like he didn’t see the looks almost everyone gave him on the way.

Fuck they really had a problem if he couldn’t even go see one of his colleagues without being tracked and spied on.

As it happened quite a lot those last weeks, he almost wished Kastor would fire him once for all, so he could move on with his life far from this bloody shitty job.

He wouldn’t quit himself, of course. He needed the money.

But he wished he could do just that.

Say ‘bye. Fuck you all ! Won’t miss you !’ and leave by the front door in a theatrical exit.

Daydreaming about it wouldn’t help, of course, and he put his mind back to work.

Tuesday, things didn’t change much, and Laurent was starting to get really frustrated and annoyed about it. So of course he did what he always did in those situation.

He made an impulse move, risking to fuck everything up, just to end what he didn’t like.

He went to Damen’s place after work.

Damen looked surprised, but let him in warmly.

Laurent went straight to the couch, sitting stiffly on it.

Damen joined him lazily.

“How was your day ?” Damen asked with a soft smile.

Really ? Small talk ? Laurent hated small talk with all his guts.

He swallowed that, though.

“Fine ?” he said. “Yours ?”

Damen nodded. “It was good.”

“Do you want to go out tonight ? For dinner ? That could be fun.”

Honesty.

“Not really, no,” Laurent said with a strained smile.

The last thing he wanted was to upset Damen.

“Oh,” Damen said. “Ok.”

The silence stretched out and Laurent had to act before it became uncomfortable.

“I brought you something !” he said hastily.

Damen smiled. “Oh did you ?”

Laurent got up, going for his workbag at the door. “Yeah I did !” he said dramatically.”

He got the pink pot out and hide it behind his back until he was facing Damen again, standing between his open knees.

“Here,” he said, presenting the jug of cotton candy to Damen’s surprised hands.

Damen laughed, taking it happily. “Thank you ! What a surprise !” he said between confused head shaking.

“The real surprise is that I’m willing to share it this time,” Laurent said haughtily.

Damen looked up to Laurent’s eyes, and softly wrapped his arms around Laurent’s shoulders. Laurent, after a second of hesitancy, placed his on Damen’s shoulders.

“Thank you,” said Damen more softly. “Can I know why ?”

Laurent snorted. “This is no grand scheme, Damen. It’s just candy.”

Damen didn’t add anything, prompting Laurent to continue.

“Because I like having sex with you and I don’t want it to stop for the sole reason that you’re stubborn,” Laurent said finally.

Damen looked dumbfounded.

“You… you think I don’t want to have sex with you ?” he blurted out.

Laurent sighed, his eyes closing.

“Look, I don’t know what you think, or what you want. This situation is becoming very awkward and since I’m not very good in relationships with humans I have no idea what to do and what to say. What you expect or whatever. I’m not a mind reader and the only thing for sure is that we haven’t had sex in a long time. Since before I told you I’m bipolar and I wolud like you to remember that sex was the initial reason why we ended up together. And you can call me a whore or whatever, but I do like sex, and I think you like too. To not fuck up I won’t go fuck someone else but I want to know why you don’t want to fuck me anymore. For what I see it’s like you think I’m a freak you have to keep far from or I’ll explode, or maybe you think I’m in sugar and that I am going to break if you dare touching me. So just… If you do feel like that, then maybe we shouldn’t try to make it work. Whatever this is.”

He looked at Damen, then.

The man had his pupils blown wide in surprise.

Then he smiled.

“But you ARE made of sugar,” he said with warmth.

Laurent sighed again.

“Damen I’m serious, we need to…”

He was interrupted by Damen’s lips on his neck, in a soft open mouthed kiss.

He thrown his head back in pleasure, allowing more room for Damen’s head.

After kissing slowly all along Laurent’s neck, Damen pulled out and away.

Laurent watched him, silenced, desire roaming in him.

For a second, he was wondering if Damen was just going to leave it there.

He swore that if he did, it would be over, and that he’d go to a bar that same night to find someone willing to fuck him properly.

But Damen didn’t leave. He just moved to grab the bucket of cotton candy, and, opening it, turned his face back to Laurent. His pupils were blown wide. He was excited too. He was in too. Laurent felt himself relax from that.

Picking a morcel of cotton candy between his fingers, Damen slowly and deliberately placed it on Laurent’s neck, where it was still wet from the kisses.  
Then he watched it with obvious desire, and Laurent felt his cock twitch.

“And you’re delicious…” said Damen against his neck.

Laurent couldn’t help but let out a satisfied smile.

Under Damen’s agile fingers, his button-down shirt was parting, leaving more skin bare for Damen to lick and spread disgusting sticking sugar.

Damen picked out more candy, leaving chunks of it on his lips’s path, and letting them melt a little before licking them off, really, really slowly.

Laurent was half sprawled on the couch, his legs spread with Damen between them.

He was losing clothing more and more every second, but he didn’t focus on that. His eyes closed, he only gave thought to the sensations of Damen’s mouth and tongue on him.

He was completely passive into, letting Damen do everything. But maybe that was a good punition for Damen not fucking him before.

His shirt was long gone, and Damen had started to work on the pants, now. There was sticky saliva all over his chest, tingling in the cool air. He shivered. His skin was cold, and it was a contrast to how hot he felt inside.

As Damen started to kiss and lick on his stomach, Laurent started to moan. Damen’s chest was nicely occupying the space between Laurent’s thighs, right where Laurent wanted him.  
The pants went off, and Laurent pulled Damen’s shirt off of him too, he didn’t wanted to be the only one naked and vulnerable.

When Damen went back between his legs, working sugar into the skin of his hip, Laurent wrapped his bare legs around Damen’s chest, holding him there.

The cotton candy bucket was starting to empty so Damen used some of the last bits on Laurent’s cock. The candy started to melt immediately from the heat and the precum. Damen wrapped his mouth almost immediately, engulfing all of it into his mouth.

Finally.

Laurent let out a long, deep, satisfied moan.

His eyes were still closed, to focus on the tactile sensations, his head thrown back on the arm of the couch.

Damen started to suck him, slowly. He licked the head, pulling almost out to suck only on it, and went back to slid Laurent’s cock in his throat.

It was so tight and warm and wet, Laurent felt like in heaven, safe in Damen’s mouth.

There was still this sticky thick quality to Damen’s saliva, from the excess sugar in it.

Damen went back in a few times, then pulled out, and Laurent whined from the loss, finally opening his eyes to see why Damen had stopped.

Picking the last bits of cotton candy, Damen looked straight in his eyes as he placed them lower between Laurent’s leg, where he couldn’t see, until he felt the sticky fingers on his rim.

Moaning again, louder, Laurent thrown back his head and let his legs spread more to give room for Damen.

When the wet tongue spurted out to lick the candy off of his rim, Laurent shook once, his toes curling.

He had forgot how good THAT felt.

It was also evident that Damen was skilled and experienced in rimming, in the way he alternated between broad licks, and teasing press of lips, and press of his tongue inside.

Laurent was lost to it, his body jerking against his will to try to fuck itself on Damen’s tongue, looking for more pressure he knew he couldn’t get.

He was moaning, again and again.

He wanted Damen inside. Not just his tongue, not just his fingers.

But that felt so good he didn’t wanted it to end either.

He was writhing under Damen’s attentions, his legs hugging the man tighter against him, refusing to let him go now that he had him exactly where he wanted him.

“More” he heard himself moaning.

After a few more presses of his tongue, Damen placed a finger at his entrance, and slowly pushed it in. Laurent whined. “More” he said again.

Slowly draggind it in and out, Damen pushed deeper with every thrust.

His other hand came to stroke Laurent’s cock, and his body went hotter, the first sign that the release was near.

“Damen,” he whine.

He didn’t knew what he was begging for, but he knew Damen was supposed to know.

Pushing a second finger in, Damen suddenly hooked them, brushing Laurent’s prostate unexpectedly, and it was enough to push him off the edge. He was coming, a long thing, and stopped breathing for a moment, experiencing his orgams in all its glory.

After that he felt boneless, at Damen’s mercy, and blissfully sated.

Damen went up his body again, licking away the remnants of sugar off his skin.

When he came back at Laurent’s face’s level, he smiled.

“Hello,” Damen said softly.

Laurent hummed.

“That’s what you had in mind ?” Damen asked.

Laurent made a pensive face.

“Mmmh…” he said. “Not really. I still want you to fuck me.”

Damen made a sad puppy face.

“But the lube is sooo far !!” he whined.

Laurent let out a little laugh.

“After what you did I don’t think we need lube.”

Damen looked dumbstruck again.

“Huh,” he said. “Yeah. We do.”

Laurent whined again, playfully.

Then he turned on his stomach, and raise his ass in the air to shake it under Damen’s gaze.

“Pleeeeaaaase” he said, smiling widely.

It was obvious Damen was starting to lose control of himself, and Laurent felt immensely proud of himself for it.

But instead of spreading Laurent’s legs like he expected, Damen pressed his thighs together, almost forcefully. Laurent went with the movement, confused.

Then he heard Damen’s fly zip open, and a second after felt Damen’s cock sliding between his asscheeks, fucking the space between his legs.

And… that felt good in its own way.

Of course Laurent would not find any release this way but he already came and didn’t mind.

He liked knowing he had this effect on Damen. He liked the feeling of their skins chaffing together, Damen’s obvious arousal and pleasure. His moans behind Laurent.

Laurent turned back on a natural angle, and pushed back on Damen’s cock in rythym of Damen pushing between his legs.

Damen was moaning louder behind him, his rythym becoming frantic, and Laurent smiled widely to himself.

‘Like this. Just like this’ he thought.

Damen was fucking himself on him, in a way, and he loved it.

He loved that it was all about Damen’s desire for once, him not a giver, but taking all he wanted from Laurent. Laurent wanted to give him this.

He moaned in encouragement.

And in pleasure, too. It felt good, it was still sex. It still smelt like it, and Laurent lost himself in the moment.

When Damen came, coating his thighs with his seed, Laurent smiled wider even.

He did that. He had that effect on Damen, who reached climax whithout having to fuck into his wet and wanton hole.

Damen collapsed on him, spent and exhausted.

Laurent started to laugh, happy in the moment, finally letting the frustration and stress out. They had a good time, it was easy, it was natural.

It was what he wanted, and hell it was fun.

He turned to lie on his back, his nex hitting the arm of the couch, and made Damen lay on him, welcoming the grounding weight of his muscular body.

Damen settled on his chest, his head turned on the side, his eyes closed.  
He was about to fall asleep, but Laurent didn’t push him away, instead combed his fingers softly into Damen’s curls.

He sighed again, feeling happy and sated, and drifted to sleep too, his hand still in Damen’s hair.

He wasn’t cold, pressed against Damen’s warm body, and falling asleep was easy and natural.

When Damen suggested they go to a bar or a club that friday after work, Laurent light up. Yeah, it was a good idea. He needed to relax and let out the pressure of the work, and he hadn’t went for drinks in a loooong time. For real, not since he went with Damen and Nikandros and ended up in Damen’s bed.

Techicality put a weight on his enthusiasm, tho, as they still had to drive both their cars.

They decided to let Laurent’s car to his place, and to drive in Damen’s to the bar Damen wanted to go. Of course that meant Damen had to hold back on drinking, but he didn’t seem to mind.

Laurent, on the other hand, as the not-designated-driver, allowed himself to let go and enjoy all he could. He had a lot to drink.

He didn’t pay for most of it, tho.

It was so easy to trap guys into buying him drinks, thinking he would soon be an easy fuck in their beds.

Laurent was all charming smiles and faked listening to their cheap pick-up lines, inwardly having a blast making fun of the pathetic drunks and eternally single guys he was accepting drinks from.

He still made sure to have said drinks in check all the while.

He had one bad experience of roofies and kept a bitter memory of it.

He was light and inhibited enough to dance freely on the dance floor, and had fun too.

But what he liked most was Damen’s jealous interventions when he got the guys to buy him the most expensive cocktails he could think of.  
He was coming behind his back, his arms crossed on his chest to show off his muscles and the guys’ faces blanched immediately. There was a proprietary look on Damen’s face that made them run away in no time and Laurent felt it hilarious.

They were on the dancefloor, Damen looking down at him with that adoring look he had often when he looked at Laurent, and he liked that too.

Wrapping his arms around Damen’s neck, Laurent slowed down their dance’s rythym, slowing it down to just a slight movement from time to time.

“You’re so possessive,” he said in a breath, his face close to Damen’s ear. “I like it.”

“You are in a good mood !” said Damen with a smile.

Laurent felt himself sway a little, and gripped Damen’s arms to stabilize himself.

“I’m a simple man, with simple tastes,” he whispered in Damen’s ear. “I just like to be fucked.”

When he drew back, he saw the lust in Damen’s dark eyes.

The desire Laurent sparked only with a few words. He was feeling very smug about that.

“Now ?” Damen asked, his voice low.

Laurent nipped at his bottom lip, and nodded.

He was looking at Damen’s own lips, waiting to be kissed. Alcohol was limiting his inhibitions already.

He felt Damen’s hands tighten on his hips, maybe hard enough to leave marks. The thought sent a wave of lust straight to his cock.

“Now,” he said, even lower.

Damen took a step back and seized his hand, pulling him with him.

Laurent thought that maybe they were going to the restroom. He never had a bar’s restroom fuck, that would be a first. Maybe a fun experience. Who knew ?

But Damen was leading them toward the exit.

“Hey ! I want to stay and drink more !” Laurent said in a childish voice when they reached the pavement.

He was far too sober for his tastes.

Damen turned to him again, his eyes dark in the neon light.

He pressed their chest together tightly, his hands going to squeeze Laurent’s asscheeks.

Laurent’s breath left his lungs and his attention narrowed on Damen’s lips again.

“I thought you wanted to fuck,” said Damen in a low, sultry voice.

It was hard to think, like this.

“Why can’t I have both ?” whined Laurent.

Damen only chuckled, taking his hand again and walking toward his car.

Ouh. Car sex. Could be fun too. When Damen made him sat gently on the passenger seat and moved aroung the car to sit behind the wheel, Laurent showed the few seconds of patience he was able to gather and smiled, a little drunkenly he must admit.

But he didn’t care that much.

When Damen was finally seated, Laurent moved accross the seats to sit on his lap, trying to reach his mouth. When he found it with his own lips, he licked messily Damen’s bottom lip, and then inside his mouth.

Damen mumbled something, but Laurent only pressed himself further, keeping Damen’s head unmoving with his hands, and moaned into his mouth.

But Damen kept struggling and forcefully moved Laurent away.

“No !” he shouted.

Laurent pinched his lips. He knew the pain of being rejected was clear on his face.

Sighing, Damen reached up to cup his cheek.

“I want you. But I want you in a bed, not cramped in a car.”

Laurent was still pouting, and Damen kissed his lips softly.

He got lost in the feeling for a moment, and when Damen withdrawn slowly, Laurent accepted his defeat, and nodded.

“Fine,” he said.

He climbed down Damen’s lap, sitting back in his seat and waiting for Damen to start the engine.

“Belt,” reminded him Damen.

Groaning, Laurent did as he was told.

“My place is closer,” he said firmly.

Damen nodded and started the car.

Obectively, he knew the ride wasn’t that long, but in his state, it felt like forever and all he could think about was the hardness between his legs.

Climbing the steps to his floor proved to be hard too, with him trying to jump on Damen every ten seconds and Damen putting him back down every time.

He managed to get his keys out and unlock the door, even as Damen’s hands were roaming all over him, both their breaths quick and shallow.

Only then did Damen hold him on when he jumped in his arms once again. Closing the door behind him with a shoulder, he grabbed firmly Laurent’s ass, pressing Laurent’s whole body against him, and carried him along the corridor. Laurent moaned at the feeling of Damen’s large hands on the back of his thighs, so close to where he wanted them, and wrapped his legs tight around Damen’s hips, preventing him to let their bodies separate again.

Laurent’s back hit a wall, he wasn’t sure which one, and Damen’s groin pressed hard into his. He could feel the heavy hardness between Damen’s legs, mirroring his own.

He wanted more.

“Damen…” Laurent whined.

He heard a groan form in Damen’s throat, and the man’s strong arms picked him up again, directing them both to the bedroom.

Laurent had a second of lucidity and pushed the door closed with a big noise with his arm above Damen’s shoulder.

In a second, he was pushed down into the mattress, Damen’s huge form pining him down. That felt so good.

He moaned again.

With that, Damen’s eyes darkened even more, even as Laurent didn’t thought it was possible, and he grinded down into Laurent’s crotch, pressing their erections together through the fabrics.

“Damen !” Laurent whined again.

As he was way more sober, Damen was more efficient in removing clothes, and made little work of disrobing them both, pressing back into him as soon as they were naked.

Skin again skin was so much better, and Laurent moaned loudly, his eyes closing.

Damen leaned in to kiss him, hungrily, messily, their tongues moving between them to reach the other’s.

“Fuck me,” said Laurent. He wanted it now. He had waited enough aready.

Holding his breath, Damen nodded weakly.

“Lube ?” he asked in a breath.

“Bedside table,” Laurent answered blurrily, but the message still passed.

Damen moved to open the drawer and take the little bottle of lubricant Laurent bought the week before.

He groaned and moved back to face Laurent.

“There’s no condom,” he said between his teeth. “I’ve got one in my wallet let me…”

But Laurent interrupted him.

“No !”

Damen looked at him, startled.

Laurent hugged him tighter, bringing their faces almost together.

“No condom,” he said more softly. “I want to feel your skin inside me.”

Desire flared in Damen’s eyes, but there was restraint too. Laurent wished that one disappeared, he wanted all of Damen. All his bestiality and force and he wanted him to fuck him hard and strong.

“You sure ?” Damen asked in a breath.

Laurent nodded, rapidly.

Damen rolled his hips into Laurent’s then, his mouth ghosting over Laurent, and he felt himself shiver in anticipation.

“Fuck me,” he whispered once more.

Damen squeezed some lube onto his fingers, and quickly pressed them at Laurent’s entrance.

Laurent was almost dangerously turned on by then, so the first press of a finger came in easily enough.

Damen groaned, and quickly added a second, then a third, fucking him with them in between.

Laurent started writhing under him, pressing down to fuck himself on Damen’s knuckles. It was taking too long.

“I want you inside me now” he said in frustration.

Groaning some more, Damen hooked his fingers inside him, and Laurent choked.

Then the fingers were gone and Damen was positioning his cock at Laurent’s entrance.

Tired of waiting, Laurent grabbed Damen’s asscheeks and pulled him in in one smooth motion, gasping as he was filled.

When the stretching stopped burning and his body started to acclimate to Damen’t fucking gigantic cock, he let out a deep-throated moan, and Damen took that as his cue to start pulling out and pushing back in, pumping in Laurent slowly but hard and deep.

Their breaths came short and laborious, Damen’s face only centimeters above Laurent’s, their mouths only brushing together and not joining.

Damen was nuzzling his cheek, his cock going even slower now, as if to trap them in the moment forever.

Laurent forced himself to breath, all his mind overwhelmed by the feelings of Damen over him, inside him, and so close he couldn’t be certain where his body stopped and Damen’s started.

That was what Laurent wanted.

That giant of a man, fucking him deep and slow, making him see stars with every push brushing his prostate.

“Laurent…” whispered Damen in his ear, and started to kiss along his jaw, along his neck and his collarbone.

Laurent let out a helpless “yes”.

Then Damen started to fuck him harder, faster, deeper even, and Laurent’s moan became continuous, Damen’s name on his lips with every thrust.

He cried out when he came, and he couldn’t remember if it was seconds or hours after that. The sound only drove Damen to fuck him faster, his thrusts losing rythym as he pushed into Laurent hard, lead only by the research of pleasure and climax.

“I’m gonna…” Damen spurted out, and made to pull out of Laurent’s embrace, but Laurent tightened his grip and his thighs around Damen’s waist.

He grabbed Damen’s ass and pulled him back in, letting out a sigh when he felt Damen’s release filling him.

Damen was still above him, strained, as he rode out his orgams, emptying himself in Laurent.

And Laurent loved it. He loved the proximity of it, the trust, and the wet feeling.

With a last groan, Damen pushed his body aside not to crush Laurent under his weight.

They laid on their back, side by side, their breaths still uncontrolled and fast.

After catching his senses again, Laurent moaned again in pleasure and rolled to the side, pressing himself against Damen’s chest, and kissed him deeply.

He felt Damen’s smile under his lips, as Damen kissed him back.

Then he nuzzled Damen’s neck, and settled his face there, buried in Damen’s smell, and closed his eyes. He let himself soak in the peace and intimacy of the moment.

He was tired. He wondered if he was going to fall asleep then despite the uncomfortable wet feeling of come dripping from his ass, and his own release drying on his stomach.

But Damen got up then murmuring a soothing “I’ll come back” and went to the bathroom. He returned quickly with a damp towel and, kneeling over Laurent, washed him with gentle swiping, his stomach, his cock, and between his legs. It was so tender and sweet, Laurent felt like his heart would burst out of his chest.

Then Damen pushed back the sheets, and gently pushed Laurent under them, settling next to him, and covered them both back in the cocoon.

Laurent was already falling asleep by then, and the last thing he remembered was placing his head back on Damen’s chest, Damen’s fingers carressing his hair.

He woke up forcefully, the next morning. Damen was apparently awake and squirming under him, like he was trying to escape something.

“Stop moving,” he grumbled, not bothering to open his eyes.

He was decided to stop Damen’s frantic movements and go back to sleep.

But of course Damen was decided to be difficult.

He kept moving, grabbing Laurent’s shoulders and pushing him off of him.

Indignantly, Laurent sat up and looked at him.

“What ?” he almost screamed.

Damen looked puzzled and a little scared.

“I… I think there’s something in the bed !” Damen said in a breath.

Laurent looked over his side, and saw the end of a scally tail.

“Oh,” he said flatly.

Then he settled back on Damen’s chest, forcing him to lay back down.

“That’s Charlie. She’s just looking for body heat, no need to freak out.”

Damen looked insulted at that.

“Your fucking snake ?” he shouted.

“Yeah,” Laurent said, closing his eyes. “Nicaise must have let her out of her vivarium again.”

Damen let out another choked sound.

“But… But why here ?!”

Laurent shrugged.

“Hey. Not my fault you’re a furnace. She must have sensed it.”

Damen kept squirming under him, apparently decided not to let it go and fall back asleep.

“Fine,” groaned Laurent.

He got up, put on a pajama bottom and went to Damen’s side to grab the innocent snake.

Welcoming the familiar, not-stressed body, Charlie settled in his arms immediately, coming to lay on his shoulders.

With gentle petting on her head, he opened the door and went straight to the living room and its vivarium, opening the lid and placing the snake gently on the branch.

“Here,” he whispered. “You’re not scaring anyone in here, so no one will crush you.”

Then he turned back, decided to make the best of the little sleep he hoped he could still get, but stopped when he found himself faced with Nicaise.

The teenager was smiling smugly, and Laurent realized he had been there longer than just that morning.

Oh shit.

He opened his mouth in surprise, but no word came out.

“Good morning,” said Nicaise with a smooth voice. The voice of someone who’s got something against you.

Laurent managed to get back the control of his mouth.

“I am SO sorry !” he blurted out. “I didn’t think you were there, had I know I wouldn’t have…”

Nicaise sniggered.

“It’s fine, don’t panic. I don’t care. Think I never saw anyone fuck before ?”

It was even worse. Laurent made a face, painfully aware he fucked up there.

Nicaise laughed again.

“Make me breakfast and we’re even.”

Laurent relaxed a bit at that, and sighed, following the teenager to the kitchen.

There he started to mix the batter to make crepes, whisking firmly to get it done faster.

Nicaise was talking on the other side of the counter.

“Next time, just assume I’m here, you know ? I live here after all.”

Laurent almost whined.

“I know… I’m sorry.”

He couldn’t make himself look the teen in the eyes, he felt so awful and guilty from forcing his sex life on a someone who really didn’t need that.

Seeing the batter was starting to splash out, he decided to stop it and give it a rest.

He turned, hands gripping the edge of the counter and looked Nicaise right in the eyes.

“Really. I’m sorry,” he said again.

That time, it was Nicaise who avoided eye contact, showing just a tiny bit of vulnerability.

“It was bound to happen at some point anyway. He seems like he’s going to stick for a while, am I right ?”

Laurent pressed his lips together, but didn’t had an answer for that question.

Sighing again, he turned back to the stove and started making the crepes.

Nicaise got up to pour himself a glass of fruit juice, then went back to his spot, watching Laurent cooking.

“Were you drunk last night ?”

Laurent startled at the question, breaking the silence.

“Hum…” he thought about it. “No. Not that much. I just had a few drinks.”

Nicaise hummed non-commitically.

“So that’s what you do ? You drink so you can let him fuck you ?”

Laurent sighed. So that was it.

He turned to Nicaise again, putting the first screwed up crepe in the bin.

“No it’s not. I’m usually sober when we have sex. I only drank to have fun last night. I don’t need to inhibate myself to allow him to touch me or fuck me. I trust him. I’m having sex with Damen because I want to, and I don’t need to get brainless for that.”

He kept his voice even, calm. That was no longer the moment to shy away from the topic.

Nicaise nodded, his mind elsewhere, but asked after a while.

“Why ?”

Laurent smiled.

“Why am I having sex with Damen ?”

Nicaise nodded.

“Well for different reasons. Because I have a libido and that my body wants sex, sometimes. Because he’s very attractive and good in bed. Because I like him as person. Because I trust him not to force anything on me, too.”

He paused, thoughtful.

“I like sex, Nicaise. Of course at first it was hard, because I felt disgusting for it, and even as my body was craving it, I hated it. I didn’t wanted to relive anything I have lived in the past. But after a while, when I realized that real sex was different than what he forced on me, I started to make peace with it. Now sex is simply an exchange of pleasure with someone, and I know that I can stop it if I start disliking it, if I’m scared or if it stops being fun. So I’m okay with it. And sex, real sex, not what you think is sex, is pretty nice. And fun. And I like it. So I choose to have sex with Damen, as I chose to have sex with others before. And no, I’m not letting him fuck me to make sure he doesn’t leave me. He never forces me, and it’s always my choice. That’s a big difference.”

Nicaise didn’t answer, just hummed distantly.

Laurent couldn’t be sure he actually listened to what he had said, but he also knew Nicaise was smart enough to do it.

He turned back and start making crepes.

He was sad for the first one, but hey. First one is always fucked up right ?

By the time Damen entered the room, obviously wondering why Laurent didn’t get back to bed, there was a nice pile in the plate, and Nicaise had alreay ate like five crepes.

Laurent thanked fate when he saw that Damen had had the lucidity of putting his boxers back on.

Grumbling, he sat down next to Nicaise, giving a small “ ‘morning” that obviously came from far away.

Lauren chuckled and place a plate in front of him, with some of the fresh coffee he had made earlier.

“Not a morning person, huh, animal ?”

Damen startled, seemingly surprised like he didn’t notice Nicaise was there before.

“I had a tiring week,” he said. “Wait ! You’re the one who let the snake out !”

If it was anyone but Damen, there would have been venom dripping from his eyes, but Damen was bad at hating people, so they came out as more cute than anything. A pathetic excuse for anger.

Nicaise seemed radiant.

“Yeah, that would be me !” he said proudly.

Laurent laughed.

“I can’t believe someone your size can be scared of an harmless snake, Damen. That’s pathetic.”

Nicaise turned to him, then.

“We’ll talk about it again when there will be another spider in the house.”

Laurent froze.

“Spiders are different,” he said firmly. “That doesn’t count.”

There was a smirk on Damen’s face.

“Stop smiling and eat,” Laurent said with his best bitch face.

Damen smiled but did as he was told. He seemed to appreciate the crepes very much, and he looked more lively in no time.

“You had plans for today ?” Laurent asked.

Damen shook his head.

“No. Not really. Can I stay ?”

Laurent shrugged.

“Fine by me,” he said. “Nicaise ?” he asked, turning to the teenager.

Nicaise shrugged too.

“Yeah. Whatever.”

Damen looked at them both awkwardly.

“Or you could just say no, you know ?”

Laurent chuckled.

“Stay, Damen,” he said. “But don’t expect anything riveting. Apparently I’m a boring killjoy introvert.”

Damen laughed.

“Yeah I already knew that !” he said. “Fine by me.”

Laurent frowned. He wasn’t sure he liked that.

After taking a shower and dressing up properly, Damen decided he would spend the day teaching Nicaise to play poker ‘because that’s a basic life skill everyone should have.’

Laurent smirked but didn’t comment, installing himself at the other side of the table and started to work.

Soon, Nicaise was beating Damen up and stealing all his money because Damen had been stupid enough to bet real money.

“I can’t believe you’re so good ! You told me you never played before !”

Nicaise chuckled, pulling to himself the money he just won.

“Of course he beated you,” said Laurent calmly without raising his eyes from his work.

“You suck at lying. I can see when you try to bluff even though I’m not looking at you.”

Damen perked up. “Oh. Is that so ?” he said.

Laurent didn’t have to answer, for Nicaise did it first.

“A monkey could see you’re lying, you big brute.”

Damen narrowed his eyes playfully.

“Ok,” he said. “New game.”

Explaining quickly the rules, he started with the teenager a card game apparently based on speed.

And quickly started losing pathetically.

Laurent smirked in his corner.

Never underestimate Nicaise.

From time to time, they tried to bring him into it, by talking to him, asking for his impartial judgment or complaining about each other, and Laurent’s concentration on his work suffered from it. He was way slower than usual and what could have been done in three hours took him nearly seven. A good portion of his day went into it.

At some point, Damen got tired of losing and instead put most of his energy distracting him.

Laurent mostly gave up when Damen came behind his back and became touchy to make him laugh.

That worked, of course, and Laurent wasn’t strong enough to resist the kisses.

He could see Nicaise surprised or curious reactions in the corner of his eye, but didn’t comment on it. Maybe that would help him understand better an healthy relationship and what it really was about.

Laurent turned his head when he heard the sound of a picture being taken.

Nicaise was grinning, holding his phone toward them.

Of course he did…

Laurent untangled Damen’s arms from around him. This was embarrasing enough as that.

He turned back to his work.

Damen left his side without another word, understanding the shift in mood.

A few minutes later, they were all back to silent activities. Laurent had his head in the work, Nicaise was playing on his phone, and Damen, at a loss of better to do, had gone to the kitchen.

It took more than fifteen minutes for Laurent to realize how it was a bad thing to have Damen in his kitchen. Which was too long.

Damen had made an attempt at… was that supposed to be an omelette ?

Laurent sighed, it was cute.

Standing next to Damen, he gently gave little advices, not overtly supervizing the rescue of the omelette.

When they managed to make something edible, and even pretty good, they brought it back to the table and split it in three, sharing it all together.

They were restless. Damen and Nicaise. A day of card games and nothing more was going to turn them crazy soon. And Laurent was restless too, when he thought about it.

They were young, they were healthy and free. There was no reason why they should stay cramped in an appartment all of a week end.

“What do you say we find ourself somewhere to go out tonight ? A bar or a club, or both. Or… something,” he said, tentatively.

Both Damen and Nicaise looked at him, beaming.

Laurent smiled at himself.

Yeah, they needed fresh air.

Of course Nicaise had ideas on where to go.

The bar they first went to was high standard, but with their looks, they had no problem bypassing the waiting line.  
Nicaise and Laurent even started a game on how many drinks they could get from unsuspecting men.

Laurent even succeeded to have some women pay for a few drinks. Some middle aged ones looking for a sugar baby, mostly. But it still counted !

Nicaise beated him, though. It was slightly worrying and disgusting to see how many men, and more often than not old-ish men, offering drinks to a teenager.

Of course Laurent knew Nicaise, and he knew the teenager had seen more than his share of creepy guys and knew how to handle them perfectly. But still he didn’t like it.

He was happy to be there to keep an eye on Nicaise in a situation like this. Like. Be careful of sighs he was roofied, or see if a guy became too handsy and be able to intervene. It calmed Laurent a great deal to know he could actually do something about it in a situation like this, for once.

Of course, considering his size and his confidence, and his looks, the role of the shy guy who waited for someone to flirt with him was off limits, so Damen had to pay for his own drinks. But he didn’t seem to mind. And, knowing that Damen was richer than himself, Laurent was in peace with that too.

He was starting to get tips because he was trying to win the bet with Nicaise but the teenager was too good at this game so he was lamentably losing, even with the slutty outfit he had pulled off for the occasion. This annoyed him a great deal.

But after a while Damen pulled him off the bar, maybe from jealousy, and he forgot about the bet slowly, warm in Damen’s strong arms.

When they felt they saw everything that could be seen in the place, they moved to a club. Their slutty outfits and tipsy appearances worked wonders, and they were in in no time.

Laurent started to slow down on drinks from then. He promised himself he would be the reasonnable one this time, able to call them a cab to go home and take care of the other two as Damen took care of him the night before.

He told it to Damen, and the man chuckled, but took another beer, relaxing a bit more.

They were swaying lazily on the edge of the dance floor, when Laurent nibbed at Damen’s earlobe.

“You know, yesterday I thought you were going to fuck me in the club’s restroom,” he whispered in Damen’s ear.

In his arms, Damen stiffened, all his attention raptured by Laurent.

“I’m not gonna lie,” Laurent continued. “I was kind of disappointed. I never had sex in a restroom like that. I figured it would be fun.”

Damen looked at him, then. Pulling away enough to gaze deeply into Laurent’s eyes.

“Do you really want it ?” he whispered.

Biting his bottom lip, and failing to not look at Damen’s own lips, Laurent nodded.

Yes. He wanted that, tonight.

Damen took his hand, and before pulling him toward the restroom, they both throw a look at where Nicaise was talking to a guy that looked stupid but harmless.

Laurent was split.

“You have less than ten minutes,” he said to Damen.

That would be a fun challenge for Damen and his liking of taking his time, and this way he wouldn’t leave Nicaise alone too long.

The restroom was blissfully empty, even if no one could predict how long it would last.

Smugly, Laurent pulled out his bottle of lube and a condom from his pocket, and Damen chuckled as his pupils blow wide.

Laurent bit his lip. He loved having that effect on Damen.

In no time, Damen had him pressed on his stomach against the wall of one of the stalls, the door hastily closed behind them. The space was narrow around them, especially with Damen’s giant size, so they were easily pressed together.

Pulling Laurent’s pants down on the top of his thighs, Damen worked him open quickly, savagely. Almost painfully. But that was part of the experience and Laurent liked it this way.

In a matter of seconds, Damen had rolled the condom on, and was entering Laurent.

Laurent moaned, enjoying the stretch and the burn from Damen’s hot skin. Then he laughed, from the excitement and the adrenaline of the illicit feeling.

But it didn’t last long, as Damen started pumping, hard, into him, making him gasp and his breath hitch in his throat.

He gripped the top of the plastic wall and door, trying to keep up with the assault of Damen’s cock in his ass.

It was raw, and savage in a way. It was a very sensate and wild experience, and it turned him on so much.

Damen was fucking him so hard and so fast that they both reached their climax fast, and Laurent understood why it was called a quickie, as he was melting into the stall wall, still gripping it hard to not fall on the filthy foor.

Behind him, Damen’s chest was pressed to his back, his softening cock still planted in Laurent, and his breath was laborious.

Laurent laughed again.

Yeah he had liked that.

His ass would probably have a hard time forgiving him that, but Laurent didn’t find in him to care at that precise moment.

He turned on himself, nestling his chest in the space between Damen’s own and his arms and the wall, and smiled up at Damen.

He leaned up, and Damen obeyed the silent demand, kissing him softly and deeply. Adoringly.

Laurent’s hands went up under Damen’s shirt, on his side, feeling the warm skin under his fingers.

Damen pulled out, resting his forehead against Laurent’s.

“Nicaise,” he whispered.

Sighing, Laurent nodded, then proceeded to take some toilet paper and wipe himself, then the wall, before throwing the ball in the toilet seat.

He pulled his pants back on, slightly missing the feeling of Damen in him already.

Together, they headed back to the main room, and laughed when they saw the furrowed brows of a red-head arrogant looking young man outside, obviously waiting for him to have finished so he could go in.

Nicaise was still okay, smiling wickedly at his victim.

Waking up was a painful thing, that sunday.

And no, it was too late to be called morning anymore.

The only thing any of them ate was bland toast, to absorb a bit of the alcool left and give a break to their livers.

After making a huge pot of green tea, Laurent joined Damen and Nicaise, silent and sleepy forms on the couch and chair.

Nicaise had turned on the TV and was zapping aimlessly, Damen looking blankly at the screen.

Laurent smiled and took the remote from Nicaise’s hands, gently.

He branched in his hard drive and played Fantasia.

Fantasia was good when you were high or hungover. No dialogue, no plot, just soft music and aesthetic.

Damen grunted his approval and Laurent settled in the couch with him, quickly being pulled against the muscular chest and wrapped in warmth.

He sighed and nursed his cup of tea, fixing his attention on the orchestra.

He went in and out of sleep a couple times during the movie, and he guessed the other two probably did too.

Nicaise was the one who got up to remake tea when the pot was empty, and Laurent was very grateful for that.

And it was Damen who cooked them some scrambled eggs when they were in the middle of The Treasure Planet.

Sunday was also Charlie’s feeding day, so while the others too were laughing upon Atlantis, Laurent gently took her out of the vivarium and gave her one of those disgusting dead mouse he kept in his freezer. That was definitely not his favorite part of having a pet…

When the mouse was… in, and that Charlie started disgesting and feeling sleepy, Laurent took her back to the couch to share their overall comatose state. Damen flinched at first, but eventually relaxed, upon seeing Charlie so chill and calm and not aggressive.

Laurent was somewhat grateful for that. He didn’t want to have to get rid of Damen because he couldn’t get together with the snake…

And even if they were all hungover, and that they weren’t blood relatives, Laurent started to understand why people actually liked family time.

And what he could lose…

The thought nudged him all monday, while he was working, while he was eating, listening distantly to Damen.

So when he came back home to an empty appartment, only hearing music blasting from Nicaise’s room, Laurent settled himself on his computer, and drown himself in the nightmare that was his country’s administrative system.

He knew, because he knew people who lived through it, that actual adoption could take around six years.

He also knew that if he had to wait six years he wouldn’t even bother, as Nicaise would be pass 18 by then and would not need anyone’s permission to live with him.

He also knew that children were required to be schooled until 16, and that would be a big downside to his claim : he never listed Nicaise in any school system. Haven’t actually homeschooled him either. Hell the kid didn’t even know how to read properly. If he went into the school system right then, in that state, it would crush him and he would quit within the day.

After a few hours of research, it appeared that Laurent must first be approved as a valid foster parent, and after a while, like, often years, should he be able to properly and definitively adopt Nicaise. It wasn’t a good start because most people didn’t like Laurent, or the term ‘bipolar’. But… doable.

The second thing was that he needed more informations on Nicaise’s actual social status.

He heard the key turning in the lock and, his eyes still strolling the official foster care site page, he caught Nicaise before he could take a refuge wherever he planned to.

“Wait a minute ! Need to talk”

He smiled at Nicaise’s groan. But Nicaise didn’t outright ignore him and leave, and that was a very big victory. He still went to the fridge to pick a bottle of yogurt. Fair.

Clapping his laptop, Laurent looked at Nicaise sitting down in front of him, an look of apprehension on his face.

“What’s your last name ?”

Nicaise looked at him in what could only be described as fear.

“Why ?” was all he managed to say.

Laurent sighed. The best thing would be to let it out at once.

“To know of your social status. To make it official that you live here under my legal protection, in case my uncle decide that he wants to separate us. I want to know exactly what he can do, and what we can do.”

Laurent insisted on the ‘we’. It would have to be team work to end up in a good way, and he didn’t want Nicaise to see him as a parent taking all the responsibilities, saying ‘you’ll know when you’re older’ and stealing his choices in the matter.

Nicaise grimaced, and passed his hand accross his face.

“I don’t want to have this conversation…”

“I know,” said Laurent. “Me neither. But let’s be honest if we don’t close our loopholes we will regret that later.”

Nicaise seemed to be looking for an excuse to quit the conversation but, finding none, sighed.

“I don’t think I’m in the system.”

Laurent startled in surprise. “At all ?”

“No,” said Nicaise. His face seemed lost in a quest for memories.

“I don’t even think that I was born here. I’m probably illegal, an immigrant. I think I remember my mother having an accent, but I couldn’t say what accent. She never brought me to school or did anything… official like that. And when she died I was too young to know much about it anyway. No one came to tell me anything so I guess I wasn’t in the social worker’s files at all. I lived in the street for a while. Never got caught by the cops so no file there either. Honestly, I think I’m not existing for anyone else now.”

Laurent let his chin fall into his hand, defeated.

It took a few seconds for Nicaise to catch him looking at him like that.

“What ?” he asked, his gaze running away on the walls and floor. He was nervous. Shy.

It was a rare look on Nicaise. He probably felt comfortable enough to allow himself to look more vulnerable, recently.

“Did you really need to have a more tragic backstory than what I already knew ? Really ?” Laurent asked tiredly.

Nicaise blushed.

After a while, Nicaise gave him a huge dramatic smile, all the tension in his body disappearing.

“Well that makes for two things : you’re not legally bound to him, which is… it’s good. But that loophole is the perfect occasion for him to send cops here. And don’t give me this look, you know he would, if only for the pleasure of screwing both of us completely, at least.”

They stayed silent for a moment, Laurent watching Nicaise carefully.

“We need to find something,” said Nicaise tiredly.

“We need to find something,” confirmed Laurent.

Starting from zero, then.

Laurent considered going to a social worker asking ‘theorical’ questions. It probably wouldn’t fool them for long, but that way he wouldn’t actually confess fostering an illegal immigrant teenager. He knew that those social workers had more important things to do than prevent someone to officially adopt the child they’re taking care of. Like. Removing kids from abusive parents or relatives. Make sure they’re actually fed.

Not everyone had someone who cared about them…

So tuesday, after work, that’s what he did.

He was walking on thin ice, he knew, but he needed answers and help.

After two hours of waiting for the social worker to be free for him, and another of a complicated conversation and description and instructions, Laurent came back exhausted.

But he had a goal, he had something to finish, an end to reach, and that felt good in its own way.

“When I send this, I’ll launch the machinery. And this is a heavy, difficult, unforgiving and complicated machinery. So is that what you want ?” he asked Nicaise one last time.

Nicaise let out a long breath, taking his time. Then he nodded, very serious.

Laurent nodded too, and sent the mail.

And now, we wait.

“We are october 10th,” Laurent said that thursday night.

He was cooking, and Nicaise was on his computer on the table near, watching him from time to time.

“And ?” asked Nicaise, not looking up.

Laurent licked his lips.

“It’s going to be Halloween soon…”

Nicaise looked at him, then, like he couldn’t believe what Laurent was saying.

He clapped the computer shut, hard, and Laurent winced.

“And ?” Nicaise repeated.

Laurent smiled.

“Do you want to celebrate it ?”

Nicaise sighed, condescendingly.

“I’m not 5, Laurent.”

Laurent shook his head, not letting it go.

“Me neither. But I think I want to have a proper Halloween this year. Of course no trick or treating because frankly… people. But something fun. I haven’t celebrated it since my mother died, and it was a hell of long ago. I think I missed something, though. And that’s a shame. I want to take back some of the thing life took away from me.”

He turned fully to Nicaise.

“So yeah, I want to celebrate Halloween. It would be less pathetic and depressing if I didn’t do it alone. That’s why I didn’t try before. But you’re here, this year. Want to be a kid with me just for a little while ? I promise booze spooky cocktails.”

Nicaise seemed to hesitate a moment, his lips pinched.

He looked so… adult sometimes. Laurent wanted to wipe this look from his face.

After some time, Nicaise nodded, avoiding Laurent’s gaze, and his booming smile from the answer.

Not caring about the ‘now can we never talk about the fact that I agreed ever again’ from the teenager, Laurent turned off the stove and went to sit next to Nicaise, grabbing the computer excitedly.

“Awesome. Now, we need some costume !”

As it could have been expected, though, the global research they did for halloween costume ideas resulted in boy-sized cheap vampire cape, or slutty nurse for adults.

Nicaise tried to make him buy the nurse costume for himself, but Laurent silenced him with a stare.

They would have better results brainstorming by themselves.

“I need something deceptive,” said Nicaise. “Something that is so not me it will disturb people. The other option is something fitting perfectly but that’s probably impossible.”

“Yeah sadly it’s hard to convey ‘spoiled brat’ visually,” said Laurent, his eyes still on the screen.

That won him a hard punch on his arm.

“And you,” Nicaise continued, digging his fingers where he just punched, “need something Disney.”

Laurent looked at him, stunned.

“Huh ?” was all he could say.

Nicaise rolled his eyes.

“Oh come on ! I never saw anyone THAT obsessed with Disney movies before.”

Laurent sneered.

“A lot of people are way more excited than me…” he grumbled, but was silenced by Nicaise’s look.

“Fine !” he said finally. “But if you tell me John Smith I break your pretty nose !”

Nicaise snorted.

“Please. You’re unworthy of wearing John Smith and we both know that.”

Laurent narrowed his eyes, leaning back in his chair.

“A complete opposite, you said… ?” he said slowly. “What do you say of ‘angel’ ?”

Nicaise looked at him, then, eyes wide open.

“Deal.”

Laurent smirked.

“And for me ?” asked Laurent.

Nicaise hummed.

“Your skinny ass ? It’s either a princess, or Clopin.”

Laurent smiled wider.

“You’d see me as Clopin ?” he said excitedly. “I’m really flattered !”

They both burt out of laughing.

“I think we have ourselves a deal, dear Clopin,” said Nicaise, presenting his hand.

“It seems we do, angel,” Laurent smiled back, shaking Nicaise’s hand.

They did find a Clopin costume, but it looked pretty cheap and sadly done, so Laurent also buy some pieces of fabric and supplies to make it look better. But of course the simple foam wings available online were ‘far beneath’ Nicaise, so the teenager made him promise to construct bigger, more realistic wings.

The fun was already starting, and Laurent was happy.

“Nicaise ?” asked Laurent, knocking on the teenager’s door.

All he could hear was a faint music, some of this crappy club music Nicaise listened too.

But that was the same as the last two hours, and no other sound.

No voice. No changing of song, nothing.

And, most importantly, no Nicaise going out or in.

That’s what Laurent had came home to, two hours earlier, and it was getting late.

Nicaise didn’t show up, not even to snatch some of the food Laurent had prepared.

So even as Laurent really did want him to let him his privacy and all, he started to get seriously worried.

“Nicaise if you don’t want me to come it, just tell me. I won’t force your door.”

No answer.

“Nicaise for fuck’s sake, no passive aggressive shit, if you’re angry at me and don’t want to see my face in a mile’s radius, please just say so, and I won’t bother you anymore. I just want to know if you’re ok.”

After another minute of silence, Laurent threw privacy to hell and tried to open the door.

But the lock was on.

That meant that Nicaise was in there.

So why didn’t he answer ?

“Nicaise !” he screamed. “Please wake up, tell me you’re alright.”

For fuck’s sake.

Stepping away, he hit the door with his shoulder, the harder he could.

Hell that was much more sexy in movies. In real life that just hurt. And that bloody door didn’t move.

If that sound wasn’t enough to wake Nicaise up so he could angrily open it and stare Laurent down, that was a very bad sign.

Laurent shouldered the door harder.

It took him an extruciatingly number of times to split the wood open, as this very efficient lock prevented any other way to open the way.

Kicking the wood a few more times, Laurent manage to hollow it enough to pass it through.

Only the bedside lamp was on, and Nicaise was sprawled on his back, unconscious, his arm hanging off the bed.

Oh no.

Hurring to his side, Laurent tried to shake him awake, but Nicaise was unresponding.

“Please, please, wake up,” Laurent heard himself say.

Touching the teen’s neck, he felt a pulse. It was slow and feeble, but it was there.

There was a couple of drug bags hanging around, and Laurent pocketed them quickly, before unlocking the door and opening it wide.

He picked his car keys and slid his wallet in his back pocket, before going back inside Nicaise’s room, and take Nicaise in his arms, carrying him away from the bed.

Struggling with the several doors, he managed to get him in his car, and belt him in.

Then he drove, way faster than comfortable even for him, to the nearest hospital. Laurent liked this hospital. It was the best he visited, and he saw too much of them.

Parking hastily in front of the ER, he undid Nicaise’s belt and carried him in.

After that, it felt like no one acted quickly enough. It seemed like no one realized the emergency, that Nicaise was in danger and that they had to help him.

Some nurse started to tell him about papers to fill, about insurance proof to give.

He wanted to yell at her, he almost did, but instead told her very firmly that THIS WILL WAIT.

Getting a doc to see Nicaise, and explain to him that he was overdosing was yet another feat.

Laurent hated the ER. All of them.

The doc asked what Nicaise had taken, and Laurent had shown the bags, helpless.

“I don’t know what’s inside, I don’t know how to identify it without taking it,” he blurted out.

At some point, it became obvious that the doc took pity of his distress, as he won himself a nurse all for himself to be managed and took away.

After half an hour, the doc came back to him, asking a lot of questions Laurent had no answer to. Mostly of Nicaise’s medical history, of his family too. They wanted a name, they wanted a social security number, they wanted a legual guardian, and Laurent had none of that.

He wanted to cry, he felt helpless, undeserving, and all the stress and the panic almost broke him.

“Listen,” said the doc after a sigh. “He’s going to be fine. Probably. We washed his stomach from the pills , and he’s wired to a dialysis for what went in his blood system. We’re keeping a watch until the rest leaves his system naturally. He didn’t have any cardiac insuffisance and there is no sign his brain suffered any damage. What we need to know now is if he’ll allergic to some of the things we gave him. Or if he has liver or kidney or heart diseases that would put him in danger right now. That’s why I’m asking you all of that.”

Laurent nodded.

“If you can’t answer, just tell us where you found him, so we can try to find some parent or guardian who would have those answers. And we need to access his medical records, for mostly the same reasons. And we also need an insurance number, or even just a name to find him back so we can ask them to pay for the interventions.”

Laurent sat heavily, passing his hands over his scalp.

“He doesn’t have a… parent or guardian. There’s just me and I’m probably the one who knows him best so I’ll tell you again : he has no allergy that I know. He has no family name that I know and he’s not in any system so there is no insurance that is going to pay the hospital.”

He closed his eyes.

“I’ll pay, I’ll deal with it, just… just make sure he’s okay.”

The doc’s lips thinned. She was considering the cops or social services, he was sure.

“I’m already in contact with a social worker, we’re working on regularize his situation for me to adopt him. There is really nothing to win with calling either the cops or the social services right now. The only thing you’d win is that I wouldn’t pay the bill, and he would be taken away by someone and not see a familiar face when waking up.”

The doc didn’t answer, but the money argument won her over.

When he entered the room, a nurse was finishing noting numbers in her file, and smiled upon seeing Laurent.

It was the first person that acted genuinely nice toward Laurent that night. So he smiled back.

“He’s sleeping,” she said, her voice low. “But his heartrate has increased, and the drugs have started to leave his system. All he need now is rest and sleep.”

“Thank you,” answered Laurent quietly.

She smiled again, softly.

“I’ll come back with the papers in a moment. There is a sit there for the family or visitors, and there are…”

She opened the closet, then, and pulled out an itchy blanket.

“Here,” she said as she gave it to him. “It’s going to be a long night, try to get some sleep.”

If everythign else had failed to make Laurent cry, he was 68% sure that this act of kindness would have done it.

But he kept the tears in, and thanked her instead.

When she left, he installed himself in the chair, the blanket on his knees, but not without taking Nicaise’s hand in his, feeling better when he felt its warmth.

The nurse did come back about an hour later, with a pile of paper that was ridiculously big. There was a serious paper problem in this country…

He tried to read some of them, filling them as much as he could, but when he saw the numbers add up, mental and physical exhaustion got the best of him and he fell asleep.

Laurent slowly opened his eyes.

Nicaise was watching him from his bed.

“Hey” said Laurent softly, detangling his limbs to sit properly.

Nicaise looked sheepish. “Hey.”

“How are you feeling ?” asked Laurent.

Nicaise looked at his own body.

“Not that bad,” he said. “A bit nauseous and hazy but mostly good. I don’t remember much, though.”

Laurent hummed. Yeah. That he knew.

“It’s normal, it’s from the overdose. Your body and mind shut down so your memory is wiped of it.”

Nicaise blushed. “Oh,” he said.

Laurent nodded.

After a moment, he decided to ask.

“Was it because you wanted to die, or did you just bite more than you could chew ?”

Nicaise sighed, not looking at him.

“Does that really matter anyway ?”

Laurent sat back more comfortably in the chair.

“Well it’s really not the same. So it’s not like I’m gonna pushing you or something, I just wish to know.”

Nicaise turned his head away, blushing harder, looking angry.

Laurent knew it wasn’t at him.

“I guess… it was definitely in a self destructive intention, but no. I didn’t wanted to die.”

Laurent nodded, softly.

“Do you want to live ?” he asked softly after a pause.

Nicaise didn’t answer right away. He picked at his bedsheet, looking out at the window and the city lights outside.

“I think I want to take everything life owes me. But I wouldn’t have minded, if you hadn’t saved me.”

Laurent smirked.

“Well. I would have.”

Nicaise turned to him, then, relaxing a bit.

‘Thank you’ he mouthed.

Laurent nodded, smiling softly.

He considered trying to go back to sleep, but knew he couldn’t.

“The doc probably want to see you now that you’re awake.”

Before he could exit, though, Nicaise stopped him.

“Is that an hospital ?”

Laurent turned back, nodding.

“I’ve never been in an hospital…”

Laurent nodded again.

“I know. You don’t have papers, hospitals don’t take you easily if you don’t have them.”

“So how did you do it ?” asked Nicaise.

Laurent raised his eyebrows.

“What are you imagining there ? I’m more stubborn than this whole country’s administration.”

Nicaise chuckled.

“It must have cost you something…”

Laurent turned fully toward him, then, and sighed deeply.

“All my savings went into it,” he said.

He wanted to be honest with Nicaise, always had wanted it. Hiding things like that only bring shadows and doubts and resentment.

“A few thousands,” he continued. “That means I’m going to start fresh again in savings. Tough luck.”

Nicaise avoided his gaze again, looking ashamed.

“Are you angry at me ?”

Laurent sat back on the arm of the chair.

“It’s life. Sometimes people have to go to hospital. You would havve stupidely broken your leg it would be the same. Or developped a genetic disease you had no control on. That’s just how life is. And that’s what savings are for. It could have been me, and it had been, not so long ago. I’m not mad, or angry. You’re safe, you’re fine, and there will be no permanent damage, if what the doc said is right. I’m very happy for it.”

Nicaise tried to force a smile on his face, so Laurent came closer and brushed a knuckle on his cheek.

“Cheer up child, it will turn out alright in the end.”

Then he turned and went to the door, calling for a nurse or a doc.

After a checkup, the doctor confirmed it : Nicaise would be fine. She wanted to keep him the night, to allow him to rest more and to be sure there wouldn’t be any problem.

Laurent thanked him and he left the room.

“See ? Told you” he said with a smirk.

“Damn. You can’t even die properly there !” Nicaise laughed.

Laurent couldn’t help but smile wider.

He was the one who needed reassurance there.

“I had to break your door,” Laurent informed Nicaise.

“And let me tell you, the guy who sold me the lock didn’t fool me on the quality. And he was right. The door did break before the lock,” he said, installing himself back into the chair.

Nicaise was looking at him with wide eyes.

“Don’t look at me like this ! If you wanted me to respect your intimacy that much you wouldn’t have overdosed in your locked room ! I did call you. A lot. And gave warnings and all, but your were already unconscious, probably.”

He made a face.

“Now I also have to buy a new door. Well let me tell you, we’re gonna take the cheapest barest door possible, and if you’re not happy, you decorate it yourself.”

Nicaise was still stunned into silence.

Laurent nestled his head in the extra cushion he took from the bed.

“Now sleep,” he said, closing his eyes. “Turn off the light. Some people have to get up tomorrow.”

Nicaise still didn’t say anything, but Laurent saw the lights turned off behind his eyelids.

“Goodnight,” Nicaise whispered after a few minutes.

Laurent hummed, already halfway to sleep.

The next days were filled with babying a reluctant Nicaise, making several trips to the hardware store and the thrift shop to buy a new door, and crafting and cooking.

Laurent had no time to breath, but was fine with that.

He knew that Nicaise liked, internally, to be taken care of that way, but that he didn’t allow it because he felt guilty. Laurent didn’t even bother trying to talk him out of it.

He also spent a long time on his bank website, trying to make the numbers work by transferring all his funds to his direct payment card to pay the first half of the hospital bill. And… all the rest.

Surprisingly, he didn’t mind. At all. He wasn’t angry, he wasn’t stressed or afraid, even.

He knew he would make it work because the worst was behind, Nicaise was alive, the rest was just something he knew what to do.

It would be alright.

That meant he didn’t see Damen much outside of work.

He had explained him why the day after the accident, and Damen proved very understanding, and after Laurent told him there was nothing much he could do, but thank you, he agreed to just leave them some space to figure it out.

They only fucked once, a quickie at work. Laurent still wanted more, but he was fine, knowing he was the one slowing the pace this time.

Nicaise’s wings took him forever, but thanks the gods, youtube existed and cosplayers loved wings.

He had to make his own ask for Clopin, in the end. Sewing wire on the edges to give it a form, as the version they found on amazon was pure shit, a sheet of tissue paper with an elastic around the head. The wig was awfull too, so he cut off the bands of hair, and glued them inside the hat instead. Tying his own hair properly under, the effect was better and less warm. Overall, after replacing the cheap sheer fabric parts and refitting it properly, and adding a few accessories like the puppet, he was very proud of his costume. Nicaise’s dress had been way easier, just a sort of toga that didn’t even require sewing. They attached a feathery circle above a headband and that was it. It was all in the wings after all. He still wore make up, mostly blush.

And he was right. The innocent cherub look looked disturbing on him. Like a children in those horror movies. You can’t exactly explain why, but you know something’s wrong.

“Congratulations,” he said to Nicaise and his completed look. “You’re freaking me out.”

Nicaise laughed, proud of himself.

“Come,” he told Laurent, heading to the kitchen, “I want a Vampire’s Kiss and a Ghost’s Scream.”

He was talking about the cocktail recipes they looked up on youtube.

They were more focused on the look of it than the actual balance of taste and all, but they were sweet and strong enough to be fun and enjoyable.

Laurent realized why people only put a single candy in the kids’ bags usually when after only the third group he saw his bowl of candy half empty.

Well he ate a good portion of it too.

Probably Nicaise too, but he didn’t manage to catch him red handed. Yet, he thought, watching suspiciously around him.

The smile came naturally when he heard the bell ring once again.

But it was no kid behind the door. It was a beefy kicked puppy measuring more than two meters, at least.

Damen.

Laurent gave him his best bitch face.

“You do realize you’re supposed to be in a costume ? And to ask for candy ? Because your shitty 30-years-old-9-to-5 doesn’t deserve any candy, for me.”

Damen looked puzzled. “What are you talking about ?”

Laurent could have facepalmed himself.

“It’s october 31st, there are cobwebs decorations all over the place, I’m in a costume, and you just ringed at my door. So now you say… ?”

Laurent was really trying to give him a chance there, but it didn’t seem to have an impact. He sighed.

“Happy Halloween… You say Happy Halloween. Or trick or treat. Or anything at that point.”

He grabbed Damen’s arm to pull him in.

“Happy Halloween, Damen. What’s wrong ?”

Damen looked all around him, examining every plastic pumpkin.

“Nothing’s wrong,” he said, carefully avoiding Laurent’s eyes.

Laurent sighed again. “Come on ! You’re here, without noticing me first of it, and you’re not mentally apt to even joke with me about Halloween. Don’t think I’m stupid enough to think you’re ok.”

Damen finally turned to him. “I’m fine, it’s really no big deal. I just wanted to spend time with you. Can I stay ?”

Laurent hesitated. It was supposed to be a time to be kids again with Nicaise without anyone seeing them and therefore feeling pressured to put on a mask.

“No. No grumpy adults without costume here tonight. I’m spending the evening with Nicaise, we’ll watch Hocus Pocus and eat candy.”

This was no way of building a romantic relationship, a voice said in his heart. He ignored it. If Damen wanted a grown up evening, he should have asked first.

Damen lighted up “Hocus Pocus ? Haven’t seen it in years ! Have you started it yet ?”

He stopped in his tracks to give Laurent deep and hypnotizing puppy eyes.

“Please ? You can dress me or put me make up as you want, promise !”

Now, that was a challenge worth the work. Laurent smirked.

“Nicaise !” he called. “We have a really bad kid there who didn’t even put on a costume. What should we do with him ?”

Nicaise pointed his angelic face out from the couch.

“Damen ?” he asked, surprised. “You look like shit.”

Laurent chuckled.

“Yeah he does. But it’s Halloween. He need to look way worse. Ideas ?”

A spark of mischief sparked in Nicaise’s eyes, and he rushed in his room, digging through boxes and bags, judging by the sound of it.

Laurent made Damen sat at the table and prepared another cocktail.

Nicaise came back, almost running, and carrying a worrying amount of makeup products.

“What the…” Laurent started, but Nicaise shut him up.

“I was considering zombie. Last minute that’s the best option. We just need to…”

He took Damen’s t-shirt by the collar, and ripped it violently, leaving it open wide on Damen’s muscled chest.

“To destroy a bit your clothes,” finished Nicaise.

Damen looked flabbergasted.

“Did you just ripped my t-shirt ?”

“He totally did,” said Laurent, deciding to be helpful. “That’s what you win by showing without a costume.”

During the next half hour, Nicaise applied himself very seriously at transforming Damen in convincing zombie.

Laurent only thought of making him look a bit ridiculous, like for the principle, but Nicaise put himself wholeheartedly into it.

At the end, between the ripped and stained clothes, and the very elaborate and disgusting in some places, makeup, the result was astounding.

Laughing, he pulled Damen by the hand.

“No, really. You need to see yourself in the mirror, it’s just great.”

Damen was probably expecting looking like a clown too, and rolled with it mostly, but he didn’t expect Nicaise’s actual level in makeup.

“Damn that’s super good kid ! I’m scared of myself like that, no kidding !”

Nicaise blushed under the praise.

Not wanting the work to go to waste, Laurent insisted in taking pictures, but that ended in weird photoshoots of a smiling zombie and a blood drinking angel which was… disturbing all on his own.

They continued drinking a few cocktails as they were watching Hocus Pocus, Nicaise commenting loudly every five minutes and Damen answering on the same tone. They ate a lot of candy too. But hell, it was halloween.

When the movie ended, they realized they were too excited to sit through another one, so they light all the candles they could find, and cut off all the normal lights, making a spooky-ish area in the middle of the living room, with cushions and empty glasses.

They shared horror stories, and of course Laurent had more of them, better ones, even, so he ended up in the role of the party master or something, his natural anxiety wiped up from the confidence of being in Clopin’s skin.

At some point, the alcohol helped unwind him enough that he started singing the Bells of Notre-Dame.

“Is that french ?” asked Damen.

“Of course it’s french. The french version is just sooo much better.”

“Wait. You mean you speak french ?” Nicaise asked.

Laurent smacked him on the head, under the halo.

“Of course I speak french, dumbass ! I was born in France ! Auguste and I learned both languages growing up.”

Nicaise laughed.

“That’s so… sexy !”

Laurent burt out of laughing, but Damen’s adoring look seemed to carry the same meaning.

“Not as sexy as that,” he said, before sliding backward until his hands touch the floor, then used them as leverage to flip his whole body backward.

Now in Damen’s look was something more primal made of ‘fuck’ ‘hard’ and ‘tonight’ raw ideas. That made Laurent laugh.

Yeah. That was probably looking nice in the skin tight combinaison. He felt proud, knowing he did well to honor Clopin.

“Hell no !” interrupted Nicaise. “French is still sexier. Can you teach me ?”

Laurent looked at him, surprised.

“Sure. Whenever you want. After tomorrow, though. I’m not sure of my teaching abilities when drunk.”

They all laughed at that.

About two hours after the last kids came knocking at their door, they ran out of candy and of the specific component of their fancy cocktails.

Already well drunk, Nicaise insisted in dragging them all outside.

‘Trick or treating’ for more candy.

Of course it was 2am and no one would ever open their door to two adults and a teenager, all obviously drunk, asking for candy.

So they didn’t really bother. They just walked in the crisp cold streets, sparsely illuminated at that hour. The city was all asleep, and they were the only one in the streets, which seemed to make Damen really sad.

Laurent lead them to his favorite park, not too far from his place, and it quickly turned into another photoshoot. Nicaise asked Laurent to do other flips and gymnastic tricks and Laurent complied, almost falling in the big ornated fountain after a precarious reception on its edge. He also climbed on statues and trees and other things because he was pretty sure that was the most in-character thing he could do.

Nicaise took most of the pictures, but Laurent managed to snap some of Nicaise interacting with the statues, and a series of live action ones of an angel being pursued by a dedicated but slow zombie.

That was hilarious.

When he heard the clicking sound while kissing Damen, he laughed imagining the resulting picture of Clopin kissing a zombie.

That was stuff for nightmare there.

Laurent woke up with the soreness that predicted a cold. That was what you get when hanging out in spandex. He also woke up with a huge body sprawled on him, and a face with poorly removed makeup looking peaceful on his chest.

Caressing Damen’s curls gently, he watched the man wake up slowly.

“Hey,” Damen said, his voise hoarse.

“Good morning,” whispered Laurent gently.

Damen closed his eyes again, rubbing his cheek on Laurent’s chest.

“Are you alright ?” aked Laurent softly.

He hadn’t forgot the look on Damen’s face when he had knocked on his door last night.

Damen pushed himself up so their faces were on the same level, and kissed him.

“I am now,” Damen said.

Laurent kissed him again, long and slow.

When they pulled away, they turned on their sides, facing each other.

“What happened, last night ?”

Damen sighed.

“I had… bad news. Well no. In theory they’re good news but… I didn’t handle it well.”

Laurent didn’t say anything, waiting for Damen to explain.

“Jokaste is pregnant.”

Laurent raised an eyebrow. Was he supposed to know who that was ?

“My ex,” said Damen with another sigh. “The one that… left me for Kastor, yeah that one.”

“Oh shit !” exclaimed Laurent. “You must be kidding !”

Damen shook his head.

“I’m really not. And I only know it now but it’s old news apparently. She got pregnant from my brother while we were still dating.”

“Oh fuck,” said Laurent.

“Could the baby be yours ?” he asked finally.

“I don’t think so, but I’ll ask a paternity test anyway. This is just… so messed up.”

He turned on his back, looking blankly at the ceiling.

“I just wanted to put all of that away from me, in the past and all, and that just… brought me back in.”

Laurent sighed too, then brushed his knuckles on Damen’s cheek.

“You can’t let him keep treating you like this, Damen. You deserve more. And you shouldn’t let them drag you back in their shit just because you’re blood related. He doesn’t deserve it, you know ?”

Damen turned to look at him.

“Would you give up, if it was your brother ?”

Laurent frowned.

“Even as Auguste and I have sometimes a complicated relationship, we still have enough respect and love between us for this situation not to be a risk. But no. If Auguste did to me what Kastor did and still does to you, I would have cut off all links a long time ago. You shouldn’t keep toxic people in your life, Damen. There is no good excuse for it.”

Damen looked back at the ceiling.

“I’ll… think about it, I guess. I just. I don’t know if I could face my father when he’ll wake up and tell him that Kastor and I, we’re not talking anymore, or that I let his compagny go to ruin because I was too much of a coward to face my own brother.”

Laurent stayed silent at that.

There was really no need to turn the knife more into that wound. Damen knew everything Laurent could say already.

He leaned in and kissed Damen’s cheek.

“Come, we’ll get some breakfast.”

Nicaise wasn’t up when they stepped out of the bedroom, fully clothed.

Well as clothed as Damen could be in destroyed t-shirt and jeans.

So Laurent settled calmly to cook them some breakfast, happy not to be in a rush or waited on by an adrenaline filled teenager.

Damen sat at the counter, just watching him.

He had learned after some time that his cooking abilities were shit and that he’d better just let Laurent be.

“By the way, what the fuck is it with Nicaise’s door,” Damen asked sleepily.

Laurent watched, as if he had forgotten the huge hole in kicked in the teen’s door.

“Oh that,” he said finally. “Well I bought a new door to replace it, but I struggle by myself and Nicaise is useless the moment we’re trying for a coordinated effort so… we kinda put it away until I find a solution.”

Damen hummed.

“I’m here, now. I could help. With the two of us it wouldn’t be long.”

Laurent smiled, he hadn’t thought about it.

“Thanks, yeah I would appreciate that,” he said, still smiling.

They stayed in a comfortable silence after that, Laurent humming lightly as he was cooking, and Damen slowly sipping the coffee Laurent gave him.

Then Nicaise came in, and it wasn’t calm anymore.

They were both really glad to have the half hour of peaceful waking up before that.

“We’re fixing your door, today ?” asked Laurent.

Nicaise lit up.

“Cool !” he said.

When the breakfast was securely in their stomach, Damen and Laurent started the time consuming task of removing every screw that kept the remnants of Nicaise’s old door attached.

They removed the lock mechanism completely too, from the door and the wall.

Holding the door straight and fixing it on the wall at the same time was the part that required the coordination and that Laurent had to admit quickly was a two-man’s job.

“Do we put back the lock ?” Laurent asked Nicaise after that, looking straight in his eyes.

Nicaise was thoughtful for a moment, but eventually shook his head.

“No. It made more harm than help in the end. I don’t like being trapped.”

Laurent nodded, once, then took the pieces of it and put it back in the closet with the tools they had used.

Going back in front of Nicaise’s room, he saw that Damen was still there, testing the strength of his work.

“It does look ugly,” said Laurent.

The door was a pale brownish of raw wood without any carving in it, or any taint or varnish. It looked cheap, because it was.

“I guess you’ll have to paint it or something, then, to make it look better. Since you were sooo helpful at changing the doors, it will be your part !”

Nicaise’s eyes threw daggers, and Laurent smiled, smugly.

Then it looked like he had an idea because he said.

“Ok. Deal. But you’ll buy me supplies.”

Surprised, Laurent only blurted out a feeble ‘yes of course’.

It was both intriguing and very welcomed to see Nicaise invest himself in his space. It meant he was starting to nail the concept of ‘home’.

But Laurent didn’t insist, not wanting to pop that fragile bubble.

Keeping his promise, Laurent took Nicaise to all the cheap craft supplies store he could think of. A dollar store, first, where they found big bottles of paint for almost nothing, and brushed and other things.

After they went to the discount supermarked Laurent knew always hold weird unique sales of very specific useful items and tools you’d have to pay a fortune in a real hardware store to find.

But they were one-in-a-year kind of sales, so going there unprepared and not waiting for that specific thing you were waiting for could lead to disappointment.

Nicaise still took a strass applicator, with three boxes of strass for it, and a woodburning tool. Nicaise refused to tell him why at any point, so Laurent was left to his wild imagination.

After that, Nicaise started to be absent more and more, just like when he wasn’t ‘officially’ living there, and Laurent started to worry about it.

Especially when he imagined him getting overdosed where he couldn’t find him and take him to the hospital…

One night, though, Nicaise came back showing him hundreds of pictures of tags he took all over the city.

Because apparently chasing tags and illegal artists what was he was actually doing while he was away.

It could frankly be far worse, so Laurent made peace with it rather fast.

Plus it gave him more time alone in the appartment, so more occasions to invite Damen over and allow them to be loud during fucking.

It allowed him to enjoy the resting time, too. He was feeling good, he had no problems to fix with Damen, Nicaise was fine and not recovering from an overdose anymore. And the crafts in preparation for Halloween were over.

So it was just resting, nice time.

Until it was not anymore.

It would have been for longer if Kastor didn’t decide that that thursday was harrassing Laurent’s day. He didn’t gave him a single break.

Laurent didn’t know if it was because he was telling Damen to fight back or just because he was looking for an excuse to fire him, but he was on Laurent’s back every second of that day, making of course any work impossible not only for himself but for Laurent too.

Laurent had been on the edge of snapping all day, of punching Kastor, or just to burst into tears. Killing his boss was a real fantasy until the last moment he had to spend there.

He had accomplished little to no work that day, and all that he did finished, Kastor threw back at him telling him it was shit and that he wanted it to be redone completely.

So when the clocked ringed 5pm, he didn’t stay a second more to review his work once again, he packed his back hastily and ran away as fast as he could without it showing too much.

It was only when he got home that he realized it had triggered an episode.

And, judging by how fast it had esqualated, a big one.

Just fucking great.

After a couple hours of whining and crying in his couch, he left a message on the office’s recorder explaining he was sick and that he couldn’t be there the day after, that he’d bring the doc note when he’ll come back. Leaving it then meant he wouldn’t have to wake up for it at 8 the next morning, and that was already a little something.

As Laurent almost expected it, Damen showed up in the middle of friday’s afternoon, and didn’t even asked what was going on. Didn’t look angry either, this time, and that was a relief.

“If you’re here for a fuck, you’ll be disappointed.”

Damen frowned.

“Laurent, please, that’s not funny…” he said very seriously.

Laurent looked him surprised.

“I wasn’t trying to be. Just wanted it to be clear.”

Damen walked in, then, and embraced him in a tight hug.

“Can I do something ?” he whispered in Laurent’s hair.

Laurent hummed.

“That is good, continue.”

Damen chuckled, but hold him tighter.

After a long time of it, Laurent was starting to feel very tired and low and standing up started to be hard.

Damen must have felt it as he walked more in, to close the door behing himself, and mostly caried Laurent’s boneless form back to the bed where he belonged.

Nestling him into the blankets, Damen then came to lay behind him, embracing him in another tight hug.

He was still fully dressed, only having took the time to kick off his shoes.

But he was there, and warm, and firm and real, and that was enough for Laurent to feel comfortable.

The next days passed in a blur. Mostly sleeping. A lot of crying.

He remembered talking with Damen about why the world was an awful place, why his life was so shitty and unfair, how he just didn’t want to see another day. And Damen not trying to talk him out of it, just listening and strocking at his hair.

He must have fallen asleep after that too.

He remembered eating, too. And since Damen didn’t leave his side much and that the meals were too balanced and actually well cooked to be his work, he guessed the man ordered them food for most of the time.

Eating was almost painful at first, but when he started, he couldn’t stop until there was nothing left to eat.

That was no his most shining self…

He didn’t remember showering, or cleaning in any way.

What he did remember, though, was Nicaise’s arrival, angrily kicking off his door to ask what the hell was that.

It took a long minute for Laurent to realize he forgot to log on the app recently.

It just went out of his mind as his phone was lying… somewhere. The battery most likely dead by then.

It was monday, they told him later.

“I’ve got to go see Paschal, I need the leave note for work,” he said painfully, trying to get up.

But both Nicaise and Damen pushed him back into bed.

“No. That can wait,” said Damen.

“But I’ll need something to justify I can’t work and… wait what are you doing here ? Why aren’t you at work ?”

Damen looked sheepish.

“I’ve taken a couple days off. I never used them anyway, so I have plenty left to use.”

Laurent leaned into the cushin, moaning.

“Great. So now if anyone at work had any doubt about us fucking, they don’t have anymore.”

Nicaise chuckled.

“You’re so very discreet I’m sure no one had actually and doubt left, dumbass.”

That earned him a feeble punch from Laurent.

Nicaise sighed, placing his hands on his hips.

“You know, this app thing, it works both ways. I want you to take it seriously. I was worried as fuck.”

The thought made Laurent smile a little, before guilt kicked in.

“I know… I’m sorry.”

Nicaise seemed content with that, and left the room, as fast as he went in.

Laurent tried not to feel to hurt at the loss.

But the teenager came back a short time after, carrying bags of chips and candy, and a pitcher of water.

The first thing he did was pour Laurent a glass of water, forcing him to sit down to swallow it.

“I can drink, Nicaise. You don’t need to baby me like this,” Laurent said softly.

“Yeah, sure,” Nicaise snorted.

“I… I can. I’m not…” Laurent tried to say, but he felt on the edge of tears again.

“Djeez ! Hold something back !” said Nicaise, horrified.

That made Laurent laugh, and soon the other two followed.

“Let’s get you out of this bed,” said Nicaise softly after a moment.

Damen was holding him up, mostly on his own, but tried to force himself to use his muscles on this one.

In the process of getting completely up and out of bed, he was suddenly overwhelmed by a strong nausea, and could do nothing but run to the toilets, locking the door behind himself.

He may not have a lot of dignity left, but letting them see him puke was off limits.

That’s what you get when you spend four days horizontally eating takeout…

He went out, wiping his mouth in disgust, to two very worried faces.

“It’s fine,” he grumbled.

He went straight to the bathroom, then, and started to brush his teeth.

Acting naturally as ever and without a word, Damen joined him and took the spare toothbrush Laurent gave him ages ago and brushed his own teeth next to him.

Laurent wanted to be annoyed at the privacy invasion, but he had to admit it helped feeling more normal and less… uncomfortable.

“Shower, now ?” asked Damen casually after they finished cleaning their mouths.

Unsure, Laurent hesitated a moment, but nodded eventually.

With soft and delicate gestures, Damen helped him out of his clothes, then removed his own and went into the bathtub to turn on the hot water. When it was hot he offered his hand for Laurent to take and enter the shower with him.

There was… nothing sexual about it, and Laurent was grateful for that. He felt disgusting and ugly and already didn’t want Damen to see him like that. He knew his mind would crumble if Damen decided to tell him how ‘pretty’ he was.

Instead, Damen rubbed a soap-soakd loofah all over his skin, gently, slowly. He took his time. Not like Laurent would have done it by himself, straight-forward and focused on efficiency. No. It was slow and… nice. Just a little time resting and relaxing in another way than staying in bed and sleeping.

When Laurent’s body was all clean, Damen shampooed and applied conditioner to Laurent’s hair, and Laurent’s eyes closed under the soft contact and massage.

He hummed, when Damen rinsed the last product off his hair.

Turning on himself, Laurent came face to face to Damen and, the water still running, wrapped his arms around the other man’s waist, holding him tightly.

Damen returned the hug, wrapping his own arms around Laurent’s shoulders.

They stayed like that a moment, the hot water slowly taking away the dirt and feeling of disgust from Laurent and warming up his sore muscles. His body unwound completely, relaxing from Damen’s embrace and the high temperature.

He felt actually physically good for the first time in days.

And that was thanks to Damen.

He sighed, and Damen’s arms went tighter around him.

After a few minutes, though, they really had to stop for there wasn’t an infinite amount of hot water and Damen hadn’t washed himself yet.

Laurent insisted on helping him doing it, a retribution, and thank, for the help Damen gave him already. He passed the loofah on his back, and shampooed his hair too, having to raise to his tiptoes for that.

But it wasn’t awkward, and by the end of their shower, they were both smiling.

They went back to the bedroom to get in clean clothes, and the crisp feeling of clean cotton felt good on Laurent’s skin. Smiling, he turned to Damen.

The man was frowning, eyeing two options of boxers.

“Do you think I could keep a few clothes there ? Like mostly underwear. I don’t really like putting back on a dirty pair of boxers, and your clothes are always too tight.”

Laurent didn’t understand why he even asked.

“Yeah, sure. I don’t care,” he said, shrugging.

Damen’s face lit up to that, and that puzzled Laurent in its own way.

When they finally left the bedroom, it was to see that Nicaise had piled up almost all the linens and bedding the appartment contained into a sort of nest in the middle of the living room, pushing the furniture against the walls to make more space.

He had brought in the snacks bags he had brought to Laurent’s room earlier, and the only three board games Laurent had and couldn’t get himself to donate before, even when he lived alone and had no one to play with.

Smiling, Damen moved to joing Nicaise in the nest, holding Laurent’s hand to make him follow the movement.

Laurent ended up, he wasn’t completely sure how, with his back on Damen’s chest, with powerful arms holding him and shielding him from the world.

“What’s this ?” Nicaise asked.

He was holding Laurent’s old Harry Potter board game.

He started to explain that it was a bit like the Cluedo but with more functions, but realized Nicaise had no idea what a Cluedo was. So he explained the rules from the beginning, and they started playing, with only a few hiccups before Damen won the second game.

After that Nicaise wanted to play Monopoly, but both Damen and Laurent agreed that Monopoly only ended up in tears and blood, so they went for the last game Laurent had in his stash. They failed to get the old woman’s inheritance, as Nicaise was being a little shit and made sure to get the cop show up at the door as soon as possible.

After that, they only talked. They shared stories, good memories.

“Why do you even like Disney that much, anyway ?” Nicaise was asking.

“Those are children movies. What ? You want someone to tell you that you’ll get a happy ending with a Prince Charming or something ? That’s rubbish.”

Laurent laughed.

“No. That’s not why I love Disney movies.”

He unwound Damen’s arms from his waist, and painfully stood up.

“Disney,” he said, “taught me that life is shitty sometimes. That we feel like there is nothing left to do, and that we all feel that way at least once in our life. But Disney taught me that when we’re deep down, we can only go up. It taught me that whatever the rest of the world thought was true, we had to fight for what we believe in. And it taught me,” he said, taking Nicaise and making him stand with him, “that when we’re happy, we have to live it fully.”

He made Nicaise turn under his arm, in a slow mockery of a dance.

“Yes, Disney taught me to dance and sing, to celebrate every victory, to celebrate it when you have the chance to be surrounded by the people you love, because you never know for how long.”

He spread his arms wide, and did a wheel on the mess of cushions.

“It made me want to fly, and made me believe that one day I would find my own way to do it, because there is a million way to fly. And Disney reminds me to fight, fiercefully, against what I know is wrong.”

He smiled down to the two men sitting on the pile of linens.

He sat back down, sitting straight without needing Damen’s support this time.

“That, is what I love Disney.”

Damen insisted that they’d change the bedsheets before going to bed again, and even if Laurent didn’t like having to do it when he was already tired, he still agreed it would feel better that way.

Changing his pajama and bedsheets completely was often a way for himself to take a fresh new start.

Damen just did it before he could do it himself.

Laurent was feeling better enough to be more active in their bed arrangement.

Rather than laying pathetically closed on himself and having Damen spooning him from behind, he actively move to lay against Damen’s chest, his arms wrapped around the wide chest and his head resting in the crook of Damen’s neck.

He slept a bit better too. His body feeling healthier somehow, and woke up more rested the next day.

So yeah, he was feeling better, but he still took it slowly, scheduling only to wash the sheets, to go see Dr Paschal and prepare for returning to work the next day.

“When you’ll see your doctor,” said Damen upon entering in a t-shirt way too small for him, “could you ask him a prescription for an STD blood test ? I’ll take one soon too.”

Laurent looked at him, startled.

“What ?”

Damen made a ‘that’s obvious’ movement with his head.

“Yeah. If you insist on having sex without condoms we’re gonna need that. Really we should have passed the test after that first time.”

Laurent did his best not to feel insulted.

“You… don’t trust me ?”

Damen chuckled.

“This has nothing to do with trust,” he said, rubbing his hands on Laurent’s arms. “Of course I trust you. But if you don’t know about something you can’t either lie or say the truth about it. I don’t want us to give each other nasty diseases just because we didn’t know about it.”

Laurent took it in.

“Oh. Alright.”

And so when he left Paschal office, it was with another sermon on going to see a psychiatrist, a note for work, and a prescription for a STD blood test.

Laurent never did that test before.

He should have.

He definitely should have after… uncle.

But he didn’t. And now he was going to do it.

When he got back, he called a lab to get it done the next day after work. Now that he thought about it, he wanted it done as quickly as possible.

As predicted, going back to work was hard. It was always hard after episodes, and even more after a long one. Or, when it’s the second time you missed work for a seemingly fake disease and refuse to tell fucking Karen what it is.

All his colleagues despised him. Acting like he let them down, letting them assuming his charge of work, just to have almost a week off to, in their minds, fuck the boss’ son.

It would be impossible to change their minds, even if he did admit the actual reason, they wouldn’t believe him, or treat him like a piss-baby.

So Laurent closed up his face, straightened his back, and ignored them as best as he could.

It wasn’t easy. Even Vannes looked at him with venom in her eyes.

Of course no one was angry at Damen, who was actually the one to take days off to be with Laurent. No. Damen was perfect. Everybody loved Damen.

Hell even Laurent loved Damen.

And it was not like Laurent could stay after normal hours that day, as he had stupidly taken his appointment right after the end of his shift.

He had packed up his bag and was walking toward the exit doors, aware of the gazes burning holes in his back when he decided to take the long way out this time.

The one that passed by small corridors and avoided most people.

But apparently it didn’t avoid the right people.

“You stayed with him all week ? That’s why you took those days off ?”

That, was Nikandros. Screaming. Nikandros, as far as Laurent knew, was a permanently angry person and he was screaming at Damen half the time.

Laurent wasn’t sure he liked it that much…

He wasn’t sure why Damen was even friend with him anyway.

Maybe that was because he had the common sense to keep away from people like Laurent…

“This is none of your business, Nik,” Damen answered, calmly.

It was a very aesthetic contrast. Screaming Nik, calm Damen.

“Damen, listen to me.”

You could hear Nikandros was trying to be the ‘voice of reason’ there.

“This guy is dead weight. He’s just gonna suck off everything you’ll give, and we both know you’ll never stop giving, until you’re totally broken and he’ll leave find himself someone else to manipulate. I want you to be safe. He is dangerous. He’s already keeping you away from your friends. Hell you’re on the edge of what ? Quit your job just for his pretty eyes so he wouldn’t be alone in one of those imaginary illnesses he have ?”

As much as Nikandros was… right, Laurent also knew that he was on the edge of hitting him, and that Damen was probably pissed too. He also knew he had to stop it to go further.

He pushed the door and stepped in, looking regal as always.

“Even if I’m aware that you don’t like me, Nikandros, and that I actually agree on most of what you just say, I still have to stop you. Either you take that somewhere else or you stop screaming because anyone could have heard that, and I’m lucky it was just me. I already have a pretty messed up reputation in that office so I’d really appreciate if you didn’t apply another layer on top of it when you could act like a grown-up and take it outside.”

As both men were looking at him, gaping comically, he turned back and walked back to the exit, not giving them the pleasure of seeing him run or even rush out, ashamed or even crying.

Apparently Nik hold Damen back because, as Laurent knew, his first instinct would have been to pointlessly run after Laurent and apologize for something he didn’t say.

When he breathed in the first whiff of fresh air, Laurent let himself relax a bit.

His phone ringed with a text.

“I’m sorry. Can we talk ? –D”

Laurent sighed.

“I have to go to the lab for your stupid test first. I’ll be at your place after that” he answered.

Then he started to walk again, straight to his car and to his appointment.

The woman’s expression when he gave her his prescription was obviously one made for making the recipient nervous and ashamed. The smug smile and the ‘I know what you did last night slut’. She probably also ‘guessed’ he was gay and was picturing him getting a cock in his ass, and she wasn’t wrong.

But Laurent had made peace with his sex life a while ago and wasn’t about to let a stupid middle-aged boring and bored secretary shame him.

He was just wishing she’d ask how many partners he had so he could say something savory in the kind of ‘I don’t know. This week or… ?’

But she didn’t ask, so he was a bit disappointed.

The woman that actually took a blood sample seemed way less interrested in the reasons that brought him in, only focusing on how many tubes she needed. Laurent could see that she was making the mental math for it, having to think more when faced with tests she didn’t do that often.

She was professional, distant, and tired of this shitty life, and Laurent liked her instantly.

Which made him leave the place in a better mood than when he left the office.

Small victories…

Then, with a heavy heart and apprehension sticking to his shoes for a conversation he didn’t want to have, he made his way to Damen’s studio.

The door was open, so he let himself in, kicked off his shoes and shed off his bag and coat.

Damen went out of the bathroom then, drying his hair with a towell, and naked except for another towell around his waist.

That, was a dick move.

He was trying to manipulate Laurent or what ?

“Hey,” Damen said softly, “you’re here.”

Laurent nodded, stiffly.

“Look, I’m sorry for what Nikandros said, and I’m sorry you had to hear that, you were right we shouldn’t have talked about you at work.”

Laurent sighed.

“Everyone already hates me there, Damen. And they hated me more than ever today, as for them I took almost a week off with a false pretense just to fuck with you. I don’t care that Nikandros hate me. I even understand it and I almost agree with him, but I’m working hard not to get fired there and this is really not helping. So even if no one actually cares in that fucking compagny, I work hard, I am good at what I do, and I need my paycheck. Relationship with the colleagues shouldn’t matter, but life is not fair and it does. So yeah, I’m trying to work on it. I’d just want Nik to act like an adult and keep our private grudges out of my financial security.”

Damen gave him an incredulous look.

“They don’t hate…”

Laurent stopped him with a hard stare.

“Yes they do. Even if you’re too naive to even conceive it. But I don’t mind, I’m used to it.”

Sighing, he walked to the couch, and fell on it tiredly.

“Nikandros is probably right, you know ? I’m a… leech. I’m just going to take and take and I’ll end up hurting you. You deserve someone that is normal, someone you can be happy with.”

Damen came to sit next to him, wrapping him in his still wet arms.

“Laurent,” he sighed.

“No, you don’t understand. I’m… I’m never going to get better, to heal, to just stop being bipolar and suicidal and unstable. No matter how much you’ll try to fix me, you can’t. I don’t want you to ruin your life for me. He’s your friend, he knows you well, probably better than anyone, and he’s right. I’m no good for you. Look at you, you’re already seeing your friends less and less, just because I can’t function by myself and I ask you to stay by my side 24/7. That’s unfair, I shouldn’t be asking you this. You shouldn’t…”

“Laurent,” Damen interrupted him, still as calm. “You didn’t ask anything, so that was my decision to make. And I did it and I don’t have any regret. I decided to work for our relationship, and I decided that this past week I wanted to be with you more than I wanted to be at work, or with my friends. And it is not Nikandros’ or your place to decide what I do with my time, and who I want to spend it with. And as much as I respect Nikandros as my oldest friend and I’m grateful for the support he shows me, he’s still acting like an asshole to the person I chose to share my life with. He has no right to do that, you know it, right ?”

He brushed his fingers on Laurent’s cheek, pushing a strand of hair back behind his ear.

“And you don’t either, you have no right to tell me who I should be spending my time with. This is not your decision to make. We’ve talked about it. I know the perks and the cons, I know the risks. I still decided to stick, because I decided you were worth it. And no matter how stupid you or Nikandros think I am for that, I will stand by my choice. So you don’t get to tell me that I should leave you, you understand ?”

Tears were pricking Laurent’s eyes, and he was fighting them harshly.

He nodded.

Damen sighed again and wrapped an arm aroung Laurent’s shoulders, pulling him close to his chest.

“I’m really sorry for today, Laurent. I’ll make sure it won’t happen again.”

Laurent didn’t answer, holding Damen’s chest tight instead.

After a moment, Damen whispered :

“You’re staying tonight ?”

Laurent shook his head.

“No. I want to go home. And… I think I could use some alone time too.”

He didn’t want to be mean. He didn’t want to push Damen away and making him feel unwanted when he only gave kindness to Laurent.

He untangled himself from Damen’s arms and looked into his eyes.

But there were no hurt, or anger in his eyes. Just kindness, and comprehension.

He really didn’t deserve that man.

He hugged Damen one last time, then went back to the door, putting back on shoes and coat.

Before he disappeared, though, he turned back one last time.

“Damen ?” he said.

Damen turned to him, humming questionningly.

“Thank you, for… not telling him I’m bipolar.”

Damen shrugged.

“Of course, sweetheart. It’s none of his business. And he doesn’t need a reason to give you basic respect. Plus,” he added, “it’s not my truth to tell.”

Laurent smiled, a small almost forced upturning of lips, and nodded.

“Goodbye, Damen,” he said, and then he was out the door.

That saturday night, he was reading in the couch, when he heard a loud bang, the door closing violently.

He straighten up, suprised, to see a very angry Nicaise in the doorway.

It was pretty late, around 3am, and he thought Nicaise wouldn’t be home at all that night.

“Nicaise ?” he asked. “What’s wrong ?”

Nicaise looked at him.

“Oh great,” he said sarcastically. “And now you are up so I have to deal with you too !”

Laurent put his book down and went to face him, worried.

“You don’t have to deal with anything from me, Nicaise. If you want me to leave I…”

He was stopped when Nicaise started crying, and went to hug him tightly, his arms winding around his waist.

Laurent startled.

That was the most close physical contact they ever shared.

“Hey,” he said softly, wrapping his arms around Nicaise’s shoulders. “What happened ?”

Nicaise just hold him tighter, and his body started to shake from heavy sobs.

Laurent softened his hold, caressing gently the teenager’s curls.

Knowing there wasn’t anything to do until Nicaise wanted to talk about it, he just stayed there, holding the teen close and warm.

“Why aren’t you sleeping ?” he heard, muffled against his chest.

Laurent hummed.

“I couldn’t sleep. Just a stupid insomnia, nothing important.”

Nicaise nodded against him.

As the wrecking sobs started to slow down, Laurent combed his fingers in Nicaise’s hair, humming softly against his head.

Eventually, Nicaise’s body started to relax against his.

“I hate them,” Nicaise muffled, his voice dripping venom.

Laurent sighed.

“I’m sorry, Nicaise. People can be really shitty sometimes.”

“They always are. Everybody always turn out to be an asshole or worse and I end up broken and in pieces and… I don’t want to see anyone anymore.”

Laurent closed his eyes, and kissed the top of Nicaise’s head.

“I know. You don’t have to.”

Nicaise nodded again.

“Why ?” he moaned, despair in his voice.

“Because they’re stupid. That’s just it. They didn’t realize what a priviledge and a chance it was that they get to spend time with you, and they fucked it up because they’re idiots.”

Nicaise pulled off of him, his eyes red from the crying.

“I can’t trust anyone, I always end up hurt. Why would I trust what you say ? What makes you think I should trust you not to hurt me ?”

He looked so angry.

“Because I’m going to hurt you, and I’m sorry about it. I’m going to hurt you some day because I made a stupid mistake, or because I didn’t even realized you’d suffer from what I’ll say or do. So I’m sorry in advance, but I won’t lie to you. I’m going to hurt you. But I can promise you that if you tell me I did, I’ll try to fix it, and make up for it. I love you, Nicaise, I won’t let you down.”

Nicaise looked like he was hoarding the scraps of his anger.

“Oh shut up,” he said finally, going back in Laurent’s arms.

“I love you,” whispered Laurent again.

Was it the first time he told him ? He wanted to say it again. He wish he had said it more.

“If you want,” he said, in a tone slightly lighter, “I can go kick their asses.”

Nicaise let out a little laugh, and shook his head.

“No you’re not killing anyone, you psychopath.”

Laurent shrugged.

“You’re sure ?” he asked. “Because the offer will always stand.”

Nicaise pulled out of his embrace, and wiped his cheeks.

“Yeah, I’m sure.”

Laurent resisted the urge to kiss his forehead, and settled for holding his hands firmly instead.

“Nicaise, you don’t have to be with anyone you don’t want to be. You don’t have to have a social life, to ‘be normal’. You only do what you want to do, I’ll take care of the rest, alright ?”

His jaw clenched, Nicaise nodded.

“I should sleep,” he said, sadly.

Laurent smiled.

“If you don’t want to, we can do something, I’m already up after all.”

Nicaise smiled softly.

“Nah. I really should sleep. I actually need to sleep once in a while. I’m in the worse of the growth, after all.”

He walked to his room, and upon entering, turned to face Laurent one last time.

“Thank you,” he said with a little smile.

Laurent smiled back, but didn’t say anything more.

The next days, and nights of course, Nicaise spent locked up in his room.

Laurent was afraid he was mad at him, or just upset and hating the world, but everytime he saw the teen go out of his den, it was with excitement, a smile, and paint in weird places. More often than not, it was to grab a plate of food, leaving the previous one empty for Laurent to wash, and going back in his room in the same breath.

Even if it would not be acceptable in any other roomate agreement, Laurent didn’t mind much. He liked, in an instinctual level, to provide food to the one in his care, and see him happy.

He also considered that whatever way of coping against treason from his friends Nicaise had chosen, it wasn’t by far the worse, so he was supporting that victory.

Damen came a couple time at their place, for dinner, for rant and chill after work, or to spend the night.

Laurent always managed to stay mostly silent during sex, knowing Nicaise was in the other room and could hear the loudest sounds, but preventing Damen from being expressive was harder.

“Next time I’ll tape your mouth, you animal,” he joked one night.

But, considering the arousal in Damen’s eyes at that, he wondered if he should actually keep it a joke.

Finally, a saturday…

“Laurent ! It’s finished ! Come see it !”

Nicaise had bursted out of his room, a trace of dark blue on his cheek and stars in his eyes. Laurent had rarely saw him that excited before.

He couldn’t do anything but follow Nicaise as he was pulling, hard, on his sleeve to get him in the room.

When he saw the inside, Laurent’s breath caught in his throat.

“Nicaise that’s… that’s beautiful.”

Laurent couldn’t tear his eyes apart from everything that was to be seen.

Nicaise had painted the walls and ceiling with a complicated, several layers pattern of flowers and leaves, all in dark tones of blue and green. The core of the flowers, mostly lilies, were sparkling from the strass Nicaise had glued there.

Strass, even more cheap ones like the ones they bought, almost always looked bad and vulgar. But… there was nothing too much, and yet everything that was needed to make the paintings… extraordinary.

Laurent now understood better the days spent at studying tags all around the city.

And if Nicaise could do this piece of art just by looking at tags… there was nothing he couldn’t do.

The inside of the door was painted too, the pattern built around the handle so it wouldn’t look eyesore or out of place. It was just… magical.

“I… I don’t know what to say,” Laurent breathed out.

Nicaise was pining next to him.

“Oh come on ! You could at least try ! You know how long I work on that ?” he said, sounding annoyed.

Laurent looked down at him, hoping his expression would convey his amazement.

Nicaise’s features softened, the trepidation and need for validation smoothering.

“You know what’s wrong with this room ?” asked Laurent, after making a decision.

Nicaise’s face fell a little, but he controlled it back to neutrality.

“The furniture !” said Laurent. “This is just… plain and boring and it doesn’t fit this work of art at all !”

Nicaise looked stunned, but didn’t answer.

“Well it was a weird substrat to paint and I wasn’t comfortable with it…”

Laurent took his hand firmly, and lead him to the door.

“I don’t care. You need new furniture. Come.”

Still silenced by the surprise, and maybe a little something else, Nicaise followed him without a word, as they took they keys and coats and wallet.

In no time, Laurent drove them to his favorite thrift store.

There, they excitedly spent the afternoon browsing the dozens of beds and dressers and wardrobes, looking for the perfect ones to carry the fantasy vibe of Nicaise’s room.

Nicaise stopped in front of a plain white dresser.

“That, I could, you know, repaint, so it would… blend.”

He had a slightly disgusted expression on his face.

“That’s not really what we had in mind, Nicaise. It’s not a matter of price anyway ! The 5 bucks of difference won’t make up from a shitty dresser to the kick ass one you dream of. Come, we will find better.”

It took them hours. Actual hours. After an hour and a half, they saw everything the store had to offer, and then they started walking back and forth to try to find things that either matched together well or were perfectly unmatched. And it had to be pretty. And a bit ancient or fantasy-like.

It took them forever.

The store was half an hour from closing when they finally walked to the cashier with tickets for their selection.

Sure it wasn’t the cheapest. Sure. But they could have kept the first furniture, that would have been cheaper. That really wasn’t the point. Laurent loved the idea of Nicaise feeling so good in his room, that he thought he would be ready to take a credit for it.

“We can’t take more than the dresser today, Nicaise,” he said firmly for the third time.

“Then what makes you think the bed and others will still be there whenever you have the time to come pick it up ?”

Laurent rolled his eyes.

“Because,” he said, exasperated, “it’s their rule, I got a ticket for it, they’ll keep it until I come to pick it.”

“But why ?” whined Nicaise as they came back to the car.

Laurent opened the trunk.

“Because it won’t fit in the car !” he said finally.

Nicaise looked startled.

“Oh.”

Laurent nodded condescendingly.

“You sure ?”

“YES I’M SURE,” Laurent screamed.

Nicaise snorted, his arms crossed on his chest.

“Whatever, just pay for the delivery then.”

Laurent laughed.

“It’s a thrift store. It just doesn’t work like that.”

Nicaise looked at him, begging.

“Come on !”

He did the puppy eyes and Laurent hesitated.

He was very weak to Nicaise’s puppy eyes.

He got it, really. The teen only wanted to have his room that same day, so it could really feel finished without any more delay.

Laurent would feel the same way.

But he still had a very small car…

He exhaled slowly.

“I may have a solution, but that will require you to stay here to guard your furniture for maybe hours until I come back. Are you ready for it ?”

Nicaise hesitated. He looked a bit scared from the insinuation. The store was lost in the country side, it would take a night to go back to civilisation on foot. This was a leap of faith.

Nicaise bit his lips, and finally. “Fine,” he said.

Laurent nodded, solemnly.

“Ok. So now we go back to those people. We ask them to be able to get everything out for a few more hours, stocked on the parking, and you help me load the car. Without you in it we have a little more space, see if we can fit the bed.”

A few hours later, everything was in the appartment.

It had required persuasion as it was against the thrift store’s rules, Laurent unloading his car by himself and getting that bloody bed up to the appartment, and, because he was just a human with one car, the help of Damen, who agree to come last minute to load and unload furniture in the middle of nowhere, and his own bigger car.

Laurent owed him one…

They spent the rest of the evening putting back together what they had to tear appart to fit in the cars, and to remake completely Nicaise’s bedroom.

Then they took pictures of the old furniture, standing in the middle of the living room, and Laurent put up an add for it, crossing his fingers that he could get a little money back from them, but mostly hoping for it to go without him having to charge them into his car again.

At some point, an exhausted Damen had left them to it and went to sleep in Laurent’s room, and as soon as his own bedroom was finished, Nicaise went to bed too.

He seemed very happy about it all, and that was enough for Laurent to completely bypass the exhaustion and continue working on the add before he finally ran out of things to take care of, so he took a shower and went to cuddle next to Damen and fell asleep, strong arms welcoming him in their protection.

Laurent was restless, turning and turning in his bed, on sunday night. Damen had went back to his own place, to his own life, and Laurent was struggling to find sleep alone.

Everything was too… silent.

He couldn’t hear anything from Nicaise’s room, the wall was too thick.

How could he be sure the teenager was even breathing ?

He considered going there to check, but he knew it was against the rules.

He was warm, too warm, in the ugly onesie Nicaise made him buy, but that was not that bad. It was getting really cold, out there after all.

It was too cold, though, when he pushed back the covers, the air icy around him, his nose frozen and slightly wet. A weather to catch a cold.

Maybe he should get up and make himself something warm to drink. It’s not like he was actually going to sleep anyway…

Sighing, he slowly got back on his feet, walking slowly to the window and see the city engulfed in the night. He always loved the sight.

When he pushed away the curtains, he froze.

Everything was covered in a white blanket, and more of it was falling as an offering from the sky.

It was snowing.

Excitement bursted like a bubble in his chest, exploding and filling him whole.

It was snowing.

As long as he could remember, Laurent always loved the snow.

Without wasting any more precious minute of it, he rushed out of his bedroom and ran into Nicaise’s, and screw the rules.

Shaking the sleepy teenager, he almost screamed in excitement.

“Nicaise get up ! It’s snowing !”

Nicaise sat up in the bad, sleep ruffled and looking very angry.

“What the fuck ?!?!”

Laurent smiled and laughed softly.

“It’s snowing,” he said more calmly.

Nicaise grumbled.

“What do you want me to do with that information ? I don’t care !”

Laurent laughed again, and took his hand to pull him out of the bed.

“Don’t be a grumpy old man, Nicaise. It doesn’t suit you !”

But Nicaise stayed firmly under his blanket.

Ok, next strategy.

Laurent turned back, looking straight in the teen’s eyes.

“Please. Come play with me in the snow. You know I hate doing things like this alone.”

Nicaise still kept his bitch face.

“If you come I promise I’ll bake you cookies,” Laurent added with a smile.

Nicaise closed his eyes, and unmistakingly rolled them behind the lids, then sighed.

“Fine. Snow. Yaaay…”

They went out quickly, only pausing to put on some coats and shoes.

The moment he stepped out in the icy air, Laurent felt his smile grow wider than ever, and bliss filling him up completely.

With the warm light from the streetlamps reflecting on the white duvet, he could see every snowflake falling from the sky. It was beautiful.

Who cares about the cold when it’s so beautiful ?

He looked at Nicaise, radiant, and moved forward, to turn on himself, enjoying the snow falling on his face.

“You look like a kid,” snarked Nicaise next to him.

Laurent smiled wider.

“Being kid was nice. I miss it sometimes. Then there’s snow and I remember what it felt like,” he said.

Walking further in the street, he went to the little park there, with wide expanses of ground without anyone walking or driving a car on. Well. Not that late anyway.

Nicaise followed him, a little warily.

Seeing that, Laurent used the time when his back was turned to him to gather a snowball in his hands and throw it to the teenager.

Nicaise looked back, deeply offended, after the hit.

That made Laurent laugh even harder.

Quickly, Nicaise started to reciprocate and they threw snowballs to each other restlessly.

But even if his rage made him throw faster, Nicaise missed his target more often than not, so in the end it was definitely a victory for Laurent.

When they were both breathless, they stopped, and Laurent rubbed softly Nicaise’s head.

“That’s okay, everybody loses some time,” he said playfully. “It’s just a lack of practice, really.”

He couldn’t finish his sentence as Nicaise tackled him violently to the ground, forcing the air out of his lungs. He was laughing before he even touched the ground.

“Woohoo !” he screamed ! “Snow angels !”

Nicaise rolled his eyes.

“Can’t you grow up ?!”

Laurent pushed himself on his elbows, looking at him.

“Says the one who was an angel on Halloween.”

Nicaise pouted.

“Come on !” Laurent said, raising his chin proudly. “Prove me you were worthy of that angel status, little man !”

Nicaise pushed him back on the ground, but lay next to him.

He watched Laurent drag his arms and legs around him, before doing the same.

Of course. Nicaise never did that…

By the end of it, Laurent was laughing again. He felt so good.

Cold, yes. So freaking cold. But good.

He had missed snow. He always missed snow.

He turned to Nicaise, a wide smile on his face.

“Do you want to build a snowman ?”

Nicaise laughed, but pushed himself up.

“There is not enough snow to built a snowman. Maybe another day,” he said patiently.

Laurent pouted.

He knew it, he just wouldn’t admit it.

It had always made him immensely sad when he was little and attempting to build a snowman but it didn’t work because there wasn’t enough snow or it wasn’t dense enough…

He took the hand Nicaise was extending toward him, and together they went back inside.

The first thing Laurent did was putting milk to heat up to make them hot cocoas.

Then he pulled out the ingredients for the cookies he promised Nicaise.

Of course, he chose to make snowballs cookies. Fitting for the first snow of the year, wasn’t it ?

Nicaise was sitting on the other side of the counter, watching him roll the little balls in his hand. He sipped his hot cocoa, with a bad attitude that only Nicaise could mutter in an action like drinking hot cocoa.

He looked annoyed.

Then Laurent got the cookies in the oven, and it was only a matter of time before he could hold his promise.

“Do you not like snow ?” Laurent asked after a sigh.

Nicaise shrugged.

“I do, I’m just… not a kid anymore and I can’t fake it even for your pretty eyes, so I’m not… as excited as you.”

Laurent hummed, and looked down his mug.

“I always loved snow. I can’t even say. It’s just so calm and magic and pure. It’s like… the silence you’d get in a cocoon. As white as the purest thing I could imagine. I even like the cold of it. The biting from that cold, it… remind me that I’m alive, it anchors me in the world, and everything slows down, even my body. My heartbeat, my thoughts, everything slow down and stays trapped in this silent spell that fell from the sky. I always loved snow.”

He finished his mug, and move to pick the icing sugar, pouring some in a plate.

“I remember, during one of my hardest times, where I felt like nothing was worth living anymore, and that if I had the strength to do it, I would have killed myself, I almost stopped myself because… that would have meant I would never see snow again. At that point, it felt worth it to stay just a little longer to see snow one last time. I remember I cried, because I couldn’t decide what was more important, and because I knew that I couldn’t have both. That to get one, I’d have to sacrifice the other. And yet, I lived, to see another snow. I love snow.”

The cookies were ready, then, so he pulled them out and almost burnt his fingers by rolling them almost immediately in the sugar.

Nicaise rubbed his face.

“Yeah, nice story and all, Cosette, but that won’t make me forget you woke me up in the middle of the night so we could go out freeze our asses off. I don’t know why I even agreed, like are those fucking cookies even worth it ?”

“What a show of ingratitude ! Do you know how much money in nuts there is in those ?”

He rolled another cookie in sugar.

“My mom taught me to do snowball cookies,” Laurent said after a pause.

“They mean christmas for me.”

Nicaise frowned.

“It’s not christmas,” he said.

Laurent smiled wider. “Yet.”

Nicaise sighed, and leaned over to snatch a cookie.

“Ok,” he said with his mouth full. “Those are good. But can I go to sleep now ? It’s 4 am.”

Surprised, Laurent checked the clock.

“Oh… Yeah. Sure. Sorry to have wake you up.”

Nicaise moved to go to his room, but stopped to look at Laurent.

“And you should go to sleep too,” he added quietly.

Laurent pinched his lips.

“You know,” he said calmly, “I hate this. That the universal answer, all the time, is ‘sleep it’s gonna be better tomorrow’. Because the truth is, nothing changes when you sleep. You wake up in the same miserable life you went to bed too.”

Nicaise licked his lips.

“I think you’re in episode, Laurent.”

Laurent kept his gaze on his cookies, rolling them one by one in sugar.

“I know.”

After a moment, as Nicaise didn’t move, Laurent finally looked at him.

“I’ll watch ASMR videos, go to bed.”

Nicaise frowned, but gave up and went to sleep again.

Humming to himself, Laurent continued rolling his cookies in the icing sugar, twice each, so they would get evenly coated.

He refused to cry, so he continued rolling his cookies, knowing sleep was no longer a sure option, and thought more about snow, and about his memories of it.

Then he cleaned the kitchen, and settled on the couch under the three plaids there were in the living room, in the middle of the sparse furniture, with his phone and some of the snowballs. He probably fell asleep there at some point, his body’s exhaustion winning the battle for now.

The day after that had started with exhaustion and restless manic energy, which was not a very good combinaison.

By the end of the morning, he had manage to finish like twenty of those little tasks that were productive but not urgent, but was still unable to actually focus on the big file he was supposed to work on. He forced himself to eat, even as his brain was telling him he wasn’t hungry, that is was a waste of time.

And for an hour before that, he lost most of his focus as all his brain was obssessed with one and only idea : he wanted sex.

And Damen was nowhere to be seen.

Laurent texted him, then, asking where he was. He didn’t want to sound abusive and stalking and controlling, but he wanted dick right then and there, and Damen wasn’t there.

‘Had to take the day off for something for the compagny, I’ll be at my place after 4, if you want to come.’

Oh Laurent wanted to come. In all the ways possible. He was fidgeting at his desk, and restrained himself to answer more than ‘ok’.

He couldn’t take anymore of it, so he went to the bathroom, and locked it behind him.

Almost everyone was in the break room, so the floor was empty. He was safe for a while.

He unpocketed the bottle of lube he had kept in his desk drawer, and opened it.

He had started to keep lube about everywhere, and here was important, with Damen’s tendency of fucking him senseless in the bathroom every time he ‘missed’ Laurent. Not that he was complaining.

Pulling down his trousers and underwear, he placed his lubed fingers against his rim, and started massaging there, relaxing into the pleasure for the first time since that morning.

He traced the opening gently for a minute or two, then started pushing fingers in, one by one, pulling out and pushing in again and again.

His fidgeting was stopping, and he managed to relax, his whole attention on the feeling from his ass. He moaned softly, and started pumping his cock with his other hand, slowly, off rythym with the fucking from his fingers.

He took four fingers in, crooked to stimulate his prostate, and pumped hard on his cock, but it still took him forever to come. That was better, it helped.

But that was not what he wanted. He wanted real sex. He wanted a cock up his ass, and he knew where to go find it.

He wiped his fingers and thighs off the come, but stopped before he wiped off the lube between his asscheeks. That could come in handy later…

He knew he could surprise Damen by taking him in without preparations. He liked the idea, already turned on a little by it.

They could do it, after all.

Both their STD tests came out clean.

Sure his took more than a week when Damen’s came in only two days because he paid for it themselves and apparently insurance financed tests weren’t as urgent for private labs, but they came back around the same time, and they had celebratory sex for it.

Laurent smiled when he remembered the look of fascination on Damen’s fae as he watched his come dripping out of Laurent’s ass.

Sure it was a bit more… filthy, because it was something more he had to clean, but he liked the feeling of Damen’s skin inside him, and Damen seemed to love it very much.

When the clock indicated his official work day was over, Laurent jump out of seat. He had spent the last half hour fidgeting and watching the clock every three seconds and he was on edge.

He’ll work another day. Not today.

The drive to Damen’s felt both longer and shorter than usual, his restless energy driving his mind everywhere but in the present moment.

He knocked at the door and Damen opened it, offering him a tired smile.

Long day, huh ? Laurent knew exactly how to make it better.

He didn’t even answer to Damen’s greeting, going straight to kissing him, filthily, hard and open-mouthed.  
Damen answered eagerly, licking into Laurent’s mouth after only a short moment of surprise.

Pushing on Damen’s chest, he guided them both to the bed, and made Damen fall on his back in the middle of it.

In the same movement, he came to straddle his hips and resumed their kissing.

There was nothing gentle about all of that. It was passionated, heated and hard.

Damen was hard too, he had been very quickly, and Laurent could feel it through his pants.

Oh, how he wanted that inside him right at that moment.

Opening Damen’s belt and fly, he pushed pants and boxers down enough to let his cock spring onto his stomach. It was red and flushed, but Laurent still gave it a few strokes so it would be completely hard.

Then he got up, and removed his own pants and underwear, and undid his shirt’s buttons.

He didn’t have the patience to get any of them completely naked, though, so he quickly went back to straddle Damen’s hips, and claimed his mouth once more. Then he pulled back, and, watching Damen straight in the eyes all the while, he took hold of Damen’s cock and placed it between his asscheeks.

Damen started to say something in protest, that they didn’t have lube, but Laurent didn’t give him time to finish it, only lowering himself until Damen’s cock was completely inside him.

He moaned, then, and his body straightened on Damen’s lap, his head thrown back.

Yes. That was what he had wanted all day long. Under him, Damen let out a shocked gasp of surprise, then of pleasure.

Keeping his head back, his eyes closed, Laurent started to fuck himself on Damen’s cock, slowly and deep. He moaned some more, the restless energy filling his body finally finding its release.

He fucked himself harder, and Damen started to let out little pants.

Then Damen groaned, and the next thing Laurent knew, was that he was in his back, his legs up on Damen’s sides, with Damen still buried deep inside him.

All breath had left his lungs during the process, but Damen started to fuck him, hard and deep, instantly, so he closed his eyes again and let himself take it, all of it, moaning louder.

Apparently, Damen liked his surprise.

Laurent came quickly, way before Damen, but prevented him to pull out when Damen tried to. He probably, selflessly, had planned to fist himself until he came out of Laurent, but Laurent took none of it.

Instead, he circled his legs around Damen’s hips and hold him closer, almost forcefully keeping his cock inside Laurent’s ass.

Surprised, Damen complied anyway, starting to fuck him again, and the overstimulation felt delicious to Laurent.

He started to moan again, and got hard, for the third time that day, in no time.

Seeing that only spurted Damen to fucking him harder, faster.

When Damen came, filling him with his seeds as he was buried deep within Laurent, Laurent himself wasn’t far away from following him.

Damen pulled out, his softening cock not doing anything for Laurent’s ass anymore, and, his face still flushed from the breathlessness, he lowered himself to kiss his way down Laurent’s abdomen, before taking him in his mouth.

Laurent cried out, smiling wide, and thrusted his hips up to fuck himself in Damen’s throat. Damen let him, not pushing down on his body to keep him still.

After only a minute or two of it, Laurent came inside Damen’s throat, and Damen sucked him through it, swallowing and licking the shaft inside his own mouth.

Laurent was letting out whines and cries and moans and whatever those sounds were called. He rarely was this vocal during sex, unless he was… manic.

Damen finally pulled out of his cock, and Laurent shuddered.

Damen came back so their faces were at the same level again.

Laurent smiled.

“You like it, do you ? Fill me with your come ?”

Damen blushed, but didn’t answer.

Laurent pecked him, still out of breath.

“Maybe I should find myself one of those pretty glass plugs, so you could keep it in after you fucked me,” he said in Damen’s ear.

Damen gasped and his eyes went wider.

“You’d… you’d like that ?”

Laurent hummed.

“Maybe. But I mostly like the effect it has on you,” he said smugly.

Damen leaned in to give him a filthy kiss, with a lot of tongue, and a strong taste of come.

They laid down side by side, after that, and Laurent was wondering how to ask for another round. He didn’t know if his body could follow and get hard again, but he knew he wanted it, the hunger an overwhelming feeling under his bellybutton.

“What was that ?” asked Damen, turning his head to look at Laurent.

Laurent smiled, and closed his eyes, revelling in the sensations thorough his body.

“Oh. I’m manic.”

Damen pushed himself up on an elbow, and looked down at him, concerned.

“Is it bad ? Or… dangerous ?” he asked carefully.

Laurent smirked.

“No. Not as long as you keep fucking me.”

Damen gave him a surprised smile, but leaned down to kiss him again.

“Deal,” he said against Laurent’s lips.

It had took two more days for the episode to falther. And that required a lot of fucking, Damen following enthusiastically. At some point, Laurent was worried he had reach Damen’s body’s limits, but they still made it.

By thursday night, Laurent was exhausted. The adrenaline was finally leaving his body and he was now paying for all the sleep he missed and all the tiring activities he had spent his time on.

Damen was sleeping soundly next to him, in Laurent’s bed. He had to follow Laurent’s energy all the while and even if Laurent was pretty sure he wouldn’t complain about ‘too much sex’, his own exhaustion had caught up on him too.

So Laurent took pity on him, and they only had a quick fuck in the shower friday morning before work, and nothing after that.

At the office, Damen looked completely exhausted, and Laurent wanted to feel sorry or worried about it, but all he could muster was smug pride.

Nicaise seemed relieved too when he saw that the episode was over. That meant that the life at the appartment could go back to normal and didn’t have to suffer anymore from Laurent’s night ‘organisation’ of dressings that didn’t need it, and trashing of everywhere else.

They all needed a calm weekend to rest.

After that, the real life came crashing back in their bubble.

Nicaise’s adoption file came back with one of those ugly red stamp sayin ‘rejected’.

Laurent hated those.

Apparently, there wasn’t ‘the legal papers necessary for the building of the file in their service, thank you for providing a birth certificate and identity papers’.

Fuck them.

“But he was born there. That should count for something, right ?”

The stubborn woman on the other end of the line gave him the same robot answer she gave him since the beginning.

“Show me the document that proves it. Or give me his parent’s original papers for this country. Or any document concerning his birth, or his official identity, or else I can’t do anything.”

“Oh come on ! We are both aware I have none of that. I thought the only condition to have the nationality was to have either both parents with it, or to be born on the soil. Nicaise was born here. I won’t make up a paper sheet to explain it to you.”

“To transfer his nationality, I need his identity file from his home country. All people born on our soil have papers to prove it.”

“This is insane ! He doesn’t have any administrative identity, there is nothing I can give you. You only receive a birth certificate when you are born in a bloody hospital, and not all of us have that chance. I know it’s irregular, but Nicaise was born here, and have his life here. Now he just needs documents to prove it and allow him to be an active part of this society. He need to build all his adminitrative identity from scratch because it hasn’t been done at his birth. His mother’s country won’t recognize it, because first he doesn’t know what it is, second he wasn’t born there, he was born here !”

Damen entered the appartment, then, and Laurent put his hand on the speaker the time it took for them to kiss quickly.

“I’m sorry, I can’t help you…”

“No, you’re not sorry,” Laurent said firmly. He sighed. “Look, I know this is gonna be a hell of an administrative nightmare and that you’re just a person in a cubicule and that you didn’t ask for that. All I want is to know the first step to take to actually launch the machinery and give that boy a chance. Can’t you just do that for me ?”

After a silence, he heard a sigh from the other side of the line.

“I never did that. I don’t even know what to answer you, what to start with. I haven’t been trained to answer that type of question.”

Laurent didn’t answer, only slopped down on himself. Another hour and a half wasted for nothing.

“I’d… I’d recomment contacting an association. Like a refugees one. They know better than me the loops and precise laws for this type of cases.”

Laurent let himself smile a little.

“Thank you,” he said softly. “Would you have names in mind ?”

She gave him the name and number of three associations.

It wasn’t much, but it was another way to try.

“Thank you very much,” he said finally. “I hope you’ll have a good evening.”

“I hope you’ll have one too,” she answered, and for once it felt sincere.

Laurent hanged up, and turned to Damen who was watching him, sitting at the dining table. He came to lean on the table next to him, leaning down to a longer, deeper kiss.

“Hello,” he whispered against Damen’s lips.

Damen smiled. “Hello to you too.”

“What was that ?” he asked after a pause.

Laurent sighed.

“It’s just part of the battle to get official care of Nicaise. The first step is to actually make them recognize he exists but they all throw the hot potato to each other and having an answer is not something I accomplished yet.”

He kissed Damen again, a soft peck.

“It would probably help if I had a family name or a country of origin to work with, but life is life,” he added sadly.

Damen nodded, thoughtful. Then he looked nervous for a moment.

“You know, if that helps, we could… we could put both our names on the adoption papers.”

Laurent smiled and laughed, sadly.

“That’s very sweet of you, and I appreciate that. But the system is fucked up enough that it’s easier for a single parent to adopt than for a gay couple.”

Damen frowned.

“You’re joking.”

Laurent shook his head.

“No. That’s the pure reality. Don’t worry,” he said, before pecking him again. “I’ll find something. I’m more stubborn than this whole country united.”

Damen smiled at that.

It was a lucky coincidence, a blissfully kept reflex born from years of fear.

When the doorbell ringed, Laurent wasn’t stressed, or afraid. It was probably Damen. Or it could be the mailman, or some delivery food sent by Damen, or Auguste. Or so much more options.

But he still checked the peephole, a simple reflex.

It wasn’t anyone he expected, though, even if he should have expected it, of course.

It was Govart. And two other goons he didn’t recognize.

Those dumbasses didn’t even bother to hide the spyhole with their fingers.

Laurent froze on the spot, fear and terror filling his body.

He turned to the hallway, and Nicaise peeping his head out of his room, looking concerned as to why Laurent was not opening the door.

He knew he looked like a ghost. He saw it on Nicaise’s face.

‘Remember Auguste’s adress ?’ Laurent mouthed, and Nicaise nodded slowly, despite the fear filling his own body.

“Run” Laurent whispered, and watched Nicaise hurry to the window leading to the balcony and, from there, to the fire escape.

Laurent had only one hope left, it was that there wasn’t anyone downstairs waiting for him.

Then he exhaled slowly, taking back control over his body and expressions, and opened the door.

“Hello, princess !” said Govart as he pushed himself in, forcing Laurent to take several steps back to avoid touching him.

He was grinning. The kind of smile of someone who know he’s about to unwrap the gift they really wanted.

Laurent forced a smirk out too.

“Here to sell calendars ? Sorry but I don’t buy from cheap ass firemen.”

Govart’s smile fell instantly, replaced by an angry expression. Pride roared into Laurent’s chest.

Small vicories.

“We heard that you want to play with your uncle’s toys now ?” Govart asked, his voice menacing.

Laurent didn’t allow himself to be scared.

“He is not pleased about it, you know ?” Govart continued, his two goons following him inside Laurent’s appartment.

Laurent forced another smirk out.

“What ? Failing your job of making him pleased ? Maybe you’ve outgrown him too, who knew ?” he said smugly.

“Shut up !” said Govart, violently shutting the door close.

Laurent repressed a shiver.

He managed to get him angry. Well. Angrier. He didn’t know if it was a victory or not, in the end, but it was still something in his control, so he held onto it.

Laurent stood his ground, raising his chin.

“My uncle doesn’t own Nicaise, and he doesn’t own me. He can’t make us do anything. You can tell him that. He can go fuck himself, for once. That’ll give a break to every child in the world.”

Govart slapped him, then. Hard.

Laurent stood still, only allowing his head to wipe to the side.

“Feeling better, now ? Reassured of your fragile masculinity ?”

Govart smiled, wickedly, at him.

“You’re gonna shut your pretty mouth now, or I’m gonna do worse to it than the beating your uncle ordered.”

Laurent paled, he knew it. He could almost feel the blood draining from his cheeks.

He wished he could control that too.

He tried to think. To take his mind off the present situation for as long as he could.

Govart didn’t look smug enough to have waited for Nicaise at the end of the fire stairs. If he had been smart enough to think about it, he would have bragged about it.

Likely, Nicaise was out of there, and on his way to Auguste’s place. He was a brilliant kid who lived in the streets a long time before, Laurent knew he could do it with no problem.

He briefly wondered if he was going to die.

Maybe Uncle didn’t ask them to kill him, because that would only gather more attention to him which he wasn’t overly fond of, for good reasons. But without Laurent, he knew Nicaise wouldn’t be safe anymore. He would probably go back to his control, or end up in a dumpster somewhere where he wouldn’t have to worry about him anymore.

He briefly thought about Damen, and then Auguste, thinking of the last time he saw them. He wished he had made it something more special…

Maybe it would be more simple, a matter of Govart being able to restrain himself or not.

With a knot of fear in his guts, Laurent also wondered if he was going to be raped that day… It was not like he had any chances against the three goons.

He gulped down through that knot, and stood firmly on his ground.

“And what is it even supposed to accomplish ? Is that a reward for your… great accomplishments ? A threat ? ‘Stop trying to help my latest victim or I’ll kill you next time’ ? Or simply a little reminder of his existence ?”

Govart nodded to each of the two other goons, a sign that ‘it’ was starting.

“I’m sure you’re smart enough to figure it out.”

Of course, since he was probably waiting for this ‘pleasure’ for a long time, Govart gave the first punch. Directly in Laurent’s solar plexus.

The other men followed quickly, and soon Laurent was on the floor, being kicked at.

He had managed to get back a few punches himself, but more ‘for honor’ than anything else, for the little it accomplished.

There wasn’t much to do apart… take it.

He didn’t even remember being in such a pain. Physically, said.

After a while, he passed out, his mind giving up on staying awake to get the shit beated out of him.

Govart’s mean smile and his feet going for Laurent’s head were the last thing he saw.

**Author's Note:**

> Art by my wonderful Reverse Bang artist, @owensagirl on tumblr.  
> It was the first time I ever actually finished writing something this big, and it's all thanks to her unlimited support. Thanks, my love.
> 
> Chapter 2 isn't finished yet, I'm so sorry ! But this turned up to be so long, even with days at 8000 words, I couldn't finish all in time. Please forgive me...


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